do you ever struggle with self-sabotage do you find yourself consistently
sabotaging yourself from achieving that goal that dream that plan that you have
for yourself and you can't figure out why you just can't get yourself to move
in the direction of your dreams if so watch this video because you're
gonna learn not only how it's possible to create the self-sabotage but how you
can begin to move past it make sure you like comment and subscribe to get more
life-changing videos like this one my name is Peter Schwartz and here on life
mastery gym is where I first began to learn effectively the principles that
allowed me to move past my own self-sabotage and I want to share with
you not only the most effective ways to begin to do that but ways that you may
not have heard of yet so let's just dive right into it
anytime you're experiencing self-sabotage it's because of one of
three things one it is either a values conflict two you have a belief that's
getting in the way or three your identity is out of alignment with the
goal during the plan that you wish to pursue so starting with the first thing
a value is simply an emotional state in the body that we either desire to feel
or we desire to avoid so we have towards values things that we really want out of
life freedom love connection peace success and then we have a way from
values we have things that we cannot stand humiliation embarrassment
rejection loneliness abandonment humiliation these are the things that we
cannot stand we cannot tolerate and we move away from them so what you'll find
is when you're experiencing self-sabotage there's likely a conflict
of values that your values are with this goal so I'll see this all the
time with business owners who they need to go out there they need to generate
new business and on the one hand success happiness prosperity positive values are
associated with going out and generating the business and then on the other hand
failure fear embarrassment what if I start this business and my family
members think I'm crazy etc they have negative values associated
with that goal dreamer desire as well and so when you have one foot on the gas
and one foot on the brake right if you have one person who's saying let's go
left and the other person who's saying let's go right it's damn near impossible
to move towards anything in a powerful way so the first place to check is your
values or your are all of your values in alignment with moving towards this goal
in a powerful way and if you're not moving towards that goal in a powerful
way it's likely that you're trying to avoid certain emotions so I would check
in I would ask yourself what are the emotions I've been avoiding by doing
this and in coaching what we'll do is we'll help you transform those away from
values into towards values so that you take all of the parts of yourself and
align it with what it is that you want and you begin to move towards it without
any of that inner resistance so that's values worked are their values
in conflict with your goal do you want to do X Y Z but you're afraid of the
rejection right do you want to go to the gym but you love the comfort of your bed
in the morning are their values in conflict the second thing is beliefs I
was working with someone the other night and this person is highly motivated and
we got to a core belief of his that if he becomes successful that meant that he
would have to leave the people that support him his friends and his family
that being successful meant leaving those people behind and so these beliefs
are not usually we know logically that these things
aren't true but it's what is nervous it was what was real to his nervous system
at some point in his life he had associated success with leaving the
people he cares about behind so on an unconscious level
he's fighting himself because he does not want to abandon the people that he
cares about so we need to check in if you're ever sabotaging yourself you need
to get really clear about what is the unconscious programming that you have
about chasing your goal what is achieving that goal mean to you and if
their self-sabotage usually it means that your values are out of alignment
and there might be beliefs out of alignment as well now the most important
beliefs in a person's nervous system or neurology are beliefs about yourself
they are identity level beliefs and this is when my life started to transform in
incredibly powerful ways for those of you who don't know my full story I got
to NLP in 2010 and I I learned it I learned it well but it wasn't until I
encountered a man's material on transforming yourself or the
self-concept that things begin to radically take off for me I mean it felt
like overnight success and the reason for that is what you believe about
yourself transforms almost every other area of your mindset the beliefs you
hold to be true about you ultimately determine the quality of your life you
may have heard this communicated in a different way
you may have heard this communicated as self image the way you see yourself and
most of us know this it's common within our culture that this is true we all
agree on this but almost nobody teaches you a way to change it and you can so if
you're sabotaging yourself I want you to ask are there anything that I believe
about myself that's out of alignment with this goal so do I believe I'm a
lazy person do I believe that I'm a procrastinator
do I believe that you know I'm a loser or I'm not intelligent if you have
beliefs like that about you those beliefs may block you from the success
that you want to have the way your nervous system works
is it works to confirm your belief system so if you have a limiting set of
beliefs your nervous systems job is to make those limiting beliefs real this is
why in my opinion the most important thing you can do for yourself is to
learn how to change beliefs in my opinion until you do that you will be a
slave to the programming of your past this is why content like this one this
video and others like it are so important the trainings the courses the
coaching these are things that I personally have invested in over the
years because to me my mental freedom is the most important thing to me so get
your values in alignment check in with your belief systems and most importantly
check in with your identity level beliefs the most important beliefs you
have and I also want to offer you two more things that you can do to end your
self-sabotage the other two are to change your environment and to get a
purpose or to align with purpose so let's start with environment environment
there's that great quote I can't remember where it came from but you are
the average of the five people that you spend time with and you know well that's
not scientifically accurate there is truth to putting yourself in
environments with mentors will lead to you gaining mindset insights from them
behavioural insights emotional energetic insights from your mentors when I first
moved to Los Angeles I started my mind Jurnee and I said I'm gonna start with
fitness and my goal was to get a six-pack so I and this was one of the
things that I put constantly self-sabotaged about so I put myself in
an environment where it would be impossible for me to fail at that goal I
walked into a martial arts gym and I signed up for a fight
shortly thereafter so I made I created an environment where I would have to
lose the weight I'm not recommending this as a strategy for weight loss I'm
just saying there are environments that you can put yourself in that will
guarantee success so if for example another personal example is what I want
to grow my coaching business I went to San Diego to visit a friend of mine who
took his coaching business and was creating multiple seven figures in it
and by spending four days with him and getting around his workflow it changed
the way I thought about getting clients it changed what I thought focus was I
thought I knew what it meant to focus until I got around that guy and he just
dialed in a whole new level of what it means to focus I mean that guy could
just like get around mentors get around people who have the results or better
than what you want and he will gain those insights and if you put yourself
in those environments it will be impossible for you to stay in your
current level lastly I'm gonna talk about purpose and you've probably come
across this idea before and the scientific research on this is very
clear people who have a strong sense of purpose in their lives tend to live
longer they're happier they are more resilient to mental illness they recover
from sickness faster it's very very interesting that having a mission
statement a reason for being will pull you through life's greatest challenges
it will cause you to grow in incredible ways and you will be serving other
people so I want to invite you now to begin to ask
what am i a part of larger than myself when I end this self-sabotage
what am i serving bigger than me you don't have to know what your purpose is
now that's fine if you don't know that but I want you to start asking a
question why am I here and it doesn't have to be the kind of thing where you
know suddenly you're walking down the street and you get this sudden white
flash and then all of the answers become clear to you on the contrary you can
cultivate this for yourself you can discover what your values are and then
create a life in alignment with your values so for me my mission is utterly
clear maybe you heard earlier in the video how passionate I am about changing
beliefs because to me you're not truly free until you can change your belief
system so my mission on this earth is to help as many people as I possibly can
learn how to change their belief system master their emotions and align with
purpose because it will make your life better if you've been experiencing
self-sabotage check in with your values is there a conflict what beliefs have
you been holding on to that are making success impossible what limiting
identities about yourself have been making success impossible how can you
get around people for going to help you change that environment what
environments can you put yourself in where success becomes inevitable in
purpose what's something larger than you that you can begin to serve that's so
important that you will find the ways to end your self-sabotage alright if this
was useful I'd love to hear it in the comments if you have any questions
please write them down if you want to learn the elements of a healthy
self-concept go ahead and check out the free PDF that you can find in the
description or in the pin comment right there and that'll take you to that
checklist also if you want to see more of my content you can go over to my
youtube channel which you can find under my name
Peter Schwartz