Hello Internet - and welcome back to the most inquisitive channel on YouTube - Life’s
Biggest Questions, the place where we hypothetically pit the fiercest - the meanest - the most
grotesque of all fictional behemoths against each other in a bid to find the ultimate winner.
Well - in theory, anyway.
What’s going on guys - as per usual I’ll be your disembodied floating voice Jack Finch
- as we thank our lucky stars that we don’t own a seaview apartment, buy ourselves a one
way ticket all the way to the arctic circle - while we wait for this whole thing to blow
over, as we suspiciously ask the question - What If Cthulhu Fought Godzilla?
Roll the clip.
Now - there’s a lot of exposition here that could potentially hinder our results - the
majority of which come down to which varying fictional versions of both Godzilla and Cthulhu
that we present.
In most scenarios - both Godzilla and Cthulhu are such vastly opposing entities that they’d
probably never even notice each others presence.
But - that’s not any fun at all, is it?
We wanna see some cataclysmic showdown that sunders the planet smack bang down the middle
- great thundering behemoths going toe to toe in an abyssal melee that heralds the beginning
of the cosmos tearing itself apart.
So - in the words of Maximus Decimus Meridius - are you not entertained?
Before we plunge into that bizarre kettle of fish though - you know how it is by now
guys - if you’re a fan of this video, Godzilla, the Lovecraftian Mythos - or just Life’s
Biggest Questions in general - then be a dear and hit that thumbs up button, as well as
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If you’ve got a big question that you just can’t keep to yourself - then please, spit
it out in the comment box down below.
On with the show.
Our boy Cthulhu, the Sleeper of R’lyeh - the High Priest of the Great Old Ones - is a fictional
cosmic entity created by the grandfather of science fiction horror, Howard Phillips Lovecraft
- and since his first inky inception in 1928’s The Call of Cthulhu - he’s been so prevalent
in modern culture that you’ll even find his tumultuous tendrils painted on a children’s
lunchbox.
But that’s no grand feat compared to the God of Destruction, the King of the Monsters
himself - Godzilla - who’s no stranger himself to the artistic immortalisation of tupperware.
Godzilla’s first appearance was in Ishiro Honda’s 1954 silver screen apocalypse of
the same name - which swiftly launched the King Lizard into the lofty ranks of monstrous
cultural icons.
Since then - both of these world-ending buddies have seen scores of recreations and canonical
additions that have augmented their varying campaigns of destruction.
First, we should hone in on what makes these big guys tick - and the arsenal they’ve
got to play with under their metaphorical hoods.
Since his time spent on the silver screen, Godzilla has thrown down with some of the
most powerful entities in the cosmos.
He’s racked up a staggering 58 bouts throughout his time as the King of the Monsters - notching
42 wins, 7 losses and 9 draws.
That’s a pretty impressive ratio - considering that Godzilla isn’t exactly battling for
entertainment - but more to be the destroyer - or saviour - of the planet.
Let’s not beat around the bush - Godzilla is incredibly powerful, so let’s not dismiss
him as just some giant lizard that breathes atomic energy.
Godzilla towers in at over 118 meters tall - which varies on the version, but we’ll
use Shin Godzilla as a benchmark - and weighs in at a staggering 160 thousand tons.
Just his heart measures 60 feet across and weighs 100 tons - pumping 530 thousand gallons
of blood around his enormous frame.
He’s resistant to nuclear blasts and all manner of humanity’s modern weaponry - and
he can bring the world's greatest armies to their knees with a mere belch.
Godzilla’s most iconic means of destruction is his trademark Atomic Breath - which, while
it sounds like a grotesque cloud of miasma - is actually a highly concentrated beam attack
of unbridled atomic energy - that can level entire cities without breaking a sweat.
Combine that with his Spiral Heat Ray, his Nuclear Pulse - and his nigh immortal durability
- and Godzilla is looking like quite the contender in this hypothetical bout.
In fact - in the Godzilla in Hell storyline, a comic mini-series released in 2015 - Godzilla
himself marches into Hell and annihilates Satan - and to drive his point home, he even
brings down the big guy upstairs.
Forget that, though - because Godzilla has even killed Zeus, the Father of the Greek
Pantheon - so as far as God’s go, The God of Destruction lives up to his namesake.
But - what about Great Old Ones?
Which, if I’m being honest - is where this showdown is ultimately decided.
Comparatively, Cthulhu is incredibly weak when you stand him up against Lovecraft’s
Yog-Sothery.
At the bottom of the pecking order, we’ve got the Great Old Ones - where Cthulhu resides
as their High Priest - granted, pretty powerful.
But above that - we have the Elder Gods, arguably of equal strength - but who regularly successfully
oppose the Great Old Ones.
And then we have The Outer Gods - who, let’s face it - are the most powerful entities in
the cosmos.
It’s not even worth trying to pit opponents against them - because no matter how hard
you try, you can’t brawl against the intangible.
Put it this way - in the Call of Cthulhu, The Sleeping God is defeated by ramming a
small tug boat into him, ripping apart his head like an exploding bladder.
Lovecraft’s words - not mine.
A frickin’ boat ripped him in two - what do you think Godzilla would do to him?!
But - here’s the thing, and I know it’s not that answer you wanted, but it’s the
answer you need.
In his house at R’lyeh dead Cthulhu waits dreaming.
It doesn’t matter what you do to him, sleeping or semi-awake - Cthulhu can only, and will
only bring destruction when the stars are aligned.
Even if he’s defeated, he’ll regenerate - or be rebirthed by his daughter-wife Cthylla.
Godzilla wins this battle hands down - The King of the Monsters is just far too powerful
- even compared to the majority of the Cthulhu mythos.
But - it’d be like watching a rabid dog tear apart a fluffy new pillow - that also
happens to constantly regenerate itself in an eternal cycle of abyssal slumber.
Yeah - that’s an image for you all to ponder on.
I’ll just let that sink in.
Unfortunately folks, that’s all we’ve got time for in today’s video - cheers for
sticking around all the way to the end.
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well as that subscribe bell so you can stay up to date with our latest and greatest uploads.
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As always, I’ve been your host Jack Finch - you’ve been watching Life’s Biggest
Questions - and until next time, you take it easy.