I would say try wandering up and down
the junk food section of your grocery
store and you'll find your soul mate
hash tag guarantee I should text your ex
I set another fire last night it's
starting to make me feel alive oh sorry
wrong number
you should save your money not buy
anything even necessities like toilet
paper that's a lie just use leaves from
your yard sit on a pile of money and die
on it and know that you were better
should imagine that you are you have the
spirit of Oprah and the face of James
Marsden male or female doesn't matter
you know I'm saying and you know just
project that in in your daily life
oh I've lost friends that way before I
don't allow that I don't stand for that
kind of behavior my opening line is
usually looking over at them and giving
like that awkward half smile and hoping
that they'll come talk to me because the
half smile is such that it could be hi
you seem friendly and I'm bored but also
I keep it cool enough that it could be
like the person right behind them I like
to keep my feelings protected you're in
a pickle my friend um you know just say
just start a rumor that there's glitches
you know on iPhones or whatever phone
you have create a couple of websites a
login is a number of people on various
forums saying is anybody else having
this problem we should write a letter to
Steve Jobs ghosts and and that's the
only solution I can think of
I think you should say that the reason
you're not having a baby is that the
water wars are coming because the world
is going to end and that baby would just
be food for somebody's stronger well
equipped baby and that should shut them
up