well now I'm going to tell you this
story it's written for four-year-old kid
but I want you to take a look at it for
a moment from a different perspective
and see if you can imagine exactly what
it is that it's say there's no such
thing as a dragon well we all know that
right a dragon is a fictitious creature
reptilian terrible lives forever
breathes fire hoards gold strange
combination of attributes why would
something terrible an ancient hold a
treasure Billie Bixby was rather
surprised when he woke up one morning
and found a dragon in his room it was a
small dragon about the size of a kitten
the dragon wagged its tail happily when
Billy patted its head sinteres you know
in Chinese mythology dragon is a
positive figure in European mythology
the dragon is something to face in
combat and destroy or something to face
in combat and build something out of the
pieces leftover from the dragon Billy
went downstairs to tell his mother so if
this thing is a dragon says Billy's
mother and she said it like she meant it
remember once my daughter had a
nightmare
she's about four this was at the time
when she first started to notice
graffiti and litter and both graffiti
and Leonard bothered her she couldn't
understand the motivations behind the
graffiti artist and she didn't like the
fact that there was litter cluttering up
the world's order and the reason she got
sensitive to that as a child was because
children are really really dependent on
order right I mean and the reason for
that is that their realm of competence
is rather restricted so they like to see
things Maxie messed up so little kids
for example they're not happy with you
if you play a game with them and then
mess around with the rules of the game
they don't like that at all they think
that that's immoral activity
to shake up the structure of the game
well anyways while she was pondering all
this she came into our bedroom one night
and said dad I had a nightmare now we
all know right nightmares aren't real
just like dragons dreams aren't real of
course which raises the question of why
in the world you'd bother having them 6
or 7 hours a night every single day of
your life and why they're a recognized
feature of animal behavior all the way
down to the amphibian level she said I
dreamt that there was a clear flowing
stream but in the stream there was all
sorts of garbage and it scared me and
bothered me so much I woke up so I told
her look close your eyes and imagine the
stream it's full of garbage what should
you do about it she said well I should
take the garbage out of the stream I
said all right so picture the stream
picture yourself cleaning the garbage
out of it she calmed down and went back
to sleep
why well because dreams concentrate on
threat we know that they present threats
to you threats you haven't been able to
deal with well there's a part of your
brain that tracks threats and it's not
really all that smart in some ways all
it does is say look here's a problem and
it's waiting for the rest of your brain
to conjure up some solution to that
problem and if it doesn't conjure up the
solution then it just presents the
problem over and over and over and over
and over so people who have
post-traumatic stress disorder for
example who've been really upset by
their contact with something unexpected
dream about the same tragedy forever
until they solve it and they solve it by
facing it and living it over and over
voluntarily so you might think right off
the bat from listening to that little
story that suggesting to your
four-year-old daughter who just had a
nightmare that her fears aren't real and
that the dream representation of them
isn't real because it's not tangible
like a table might not really be the
best approach to the problem so you see
Billy he's pretty much got it right
right off the bat right the dragon wag
his tail happily when Billy powdered its
head Billy went downstairs to tell his
mother there's no such thing as a dragon
said Billy's mother and she said it like
she meant it
so there's a dragon in this house
now the next thing you might wonder is
how often have you actually gone into a
house where there's a dragon my guess is
if you don't take this particularly
specifically and allow yourself to use
your imagination and to think
metaphorically for a moment you've all
encountered dozens of houses that were
filled right to the rafters with various
dragons all of which were being
studiously ignored by the people who
inhabited the house Billy went back to
his room and began to dress the dragon
came close to Billy in a friendly manner
and wag his tail but Billy didn't have
it if there's no such thing as something
it's silly to Pat it on the head Billy
washed his face and hands and went down
to breakfast the dragon went along it
was bigger now almost the size of a dog
Billy sat down at the table the dragon
sat down on the table this sort of thing
was not usually permitted but there
wasn't much Billy's mother could do
about it she'd already said there was no
such thing as a dragon and if there's no
such thing you can't tell it to get down
off the table sometimes I sit with
friends of mine who have very young
children to eat say and the children 2
or 3 years old
don't sit out the table they sit on the
table or they run around the table or
they run around the table and pull
things off the table or they run around
the house and pull things off all the
shelves in the house and keep their
parents so busy chasing them around that
they have no time whatsoever to interact
as adults well you have to wonder under
those circumstances whether you're
dealing with a child or a dragon so to
speak and you also might wonder whether
or not the dragon is large and unruly
precisely because the parents are
completely unwilling to admit that it
actually exists
mother made some pancakes for Billy put
the dragon eat them all might have made
some more but the dragon ate those too
mother kept making pancakes until she
ran out of batter Billy only got one of
them but he said that's all he really
wanted anyway one time an acquaintance
of ours in Boston brought their son over
to be babysat at our house and his nanny
had just been in a car accident so he
was being shunted from house to house
while his parents went off to work and
he didn't have very good reputation this
kid he's about 4 and he came over to our
house and with his mother in the morning
and she dropped them off and she said
well he probably won't eat all day but
that's alright and I thought no he's 4
he doesn't eat all day
that's not alright right cuz kids if
they don't eat they're basically
horrible right they don't sleep they
don't eat they're horrible so it isn't
alright that he doesn't eat so then you
think well maybe there's some sort of
dragon associated with this child that
happens to be interfering perhaps with
his ability to eat so I came back at
noon my wife had taking care of the
children that day and I walked in the
house and the other four or five kids
that we had in the house were off
playing and this little kid was standing
in the corner like really isolated and
looking you know upset fundamentally so
I went over and I poked them a bunch
because generally if you poke a kid a
little bit you know well they go like
this you know look sort of back off but
sooner or later you can crack them and
they'll smile and then they'll play not
this kid boy there's no bloody way he's
going to play with me and that was act
like he'd already learned that adults
should either be ignored or that they
were trouble and he wasn't going to let
any adults into his little world so
there was absolutely a dragon associated
with that little boy and it was eating
all his pancakes they only went upstairs
to brush his teeth mother started
clearing the table the dragon who was
quite as big as mother by this time made
himself comfortable in the hall rug and
went to sleep
I really like this one by the time Delhi
came back downstairs the dragon had
grown so much he filled the hall
Billy had to go around by way of the
living room to get to where his mother
was I didn't know dragons grew soup I
said Billy there's no such thing as a
dragon said mother firmly cleaning the
downstairs took mother all morning
what with the dragon in the way and
having to climb in and out of windows to
get from room to room
so you know you think back in your own
experience when you've gone to a house
where there's a dragon hiding underneath
the living room rug and nobody's saying
anything about it and then you think how
long does it take to get something
absolutely simple done in a house that's
absolutely jammed to the rafters with
unfinished business forever right
organizing people in a household like
that even do something as simple as go
out for breakfast in the morning or even
perhaps to make a meal is virtually
impossible why well because there's
something going on in the household that
has been studiously ignored for a very
long time and has grown so large as a
consequence that it occupies the whole
domain by using the dragon filled the
house its head hung out the front door
its tail hung out the back door and
there wasn't a room in the house that
didn't have some part of the dragon in
it
when the Dragons awoke from his nap he
was hungry bakery truck went by the
smell of fresh bread was more than the
dragon could resist he ran down the
street after the bakery truck so how it
went along of course like the shell on a
snail the mailman was just coming up the
path with the mail for the big speeds
when their house rushed past him and
headed down the street he chased the big
speed house for a few blocks but he but
he couldn't catch it when mr. bixby came
home for lunch
the first thing he noticed was that his
house was gone luckily one of the
neighbors was able to tell him which way
it went you know that sort of thing
happens to people not infrequently -
right they're not really looking around
much out what's going on and they come
home from work one day and their house
is gone and what does that mean well
maybe their children have become
completely alienated from them or maybe
their wife has decided suddenly but of
course don't so suddenly to leave why
well according to this story is because
something ignored was growing in the
house mr. bixby got in his car and went
looking for the house he studied all the
houses as he drove along finally he saw
one that looked familiar
Billy and mrs. Bixby were waving from an
upstairs window
you know in the 1890s in India when our
house was being built the local priest
equivalent to the priest would come by
to set the foundation stone and when he
set the foundation stone he'd take a big
spike and drove it into the ground and
the reason he drove it into the ground
up the place where the foundation was
going to be laid was to keep the great
dragon that is underneath the earth
firmly pinned down by its head so it
couldn't move and shake the house to
bits what does that mean well it means
the same thing that's meant in the New
Testament when you're told not to build
your house on a foundation of sand right
doesn't matter how good the house is or
how well constructed it is or how rich
it is if the foundation is made out of
sand or if it rests on top of the dragon
there's nothing in that household it's
ever going to be accomplished that's
positive and the wealth he display that
the house might consist of is nothing
but a sham mr. bixby climbed over the
dragon's head onto the porch roof and
through the upstairs window how did this
happen mr. bixby asked it was the dragon
said Billy there's no such thing mother
started to say there is a dragon Billy
insisted a very big dragon and Billy
patted the dragon on the head the dragon
wagged his tail happily then even faster
than it had groaned the dragon started
getting smaller
soon it was kitten size again I don't
whine dragons this size said mother
why did it have to grow so big I'm not
sure it said Billy but I think it just
wanted to be noticed