- A way to release pure magnetic energy
is by developing this detachment style
that will completely transform the energy
you are putting out.
And it'll allow you to then attract what you want
and literally repel that which you don't want.
So in this video,
I'm gonna share you with you exactly
what that is,
how to have that energy,
how to release the the codependent needy energy
that is literally repelling love,
so that you can be that magnetic.
Now, the first thing to understand
about this is that detachment is one
of the most attractive things that you can have.
Now there's two different types of attachment, I would say.
There's one detachment where you are detached
from the outcome,
yet still engaged in being present to the moment.
And there's another form of detachment,
that's like apathy.
It's almost like I'm detached.
'Cause I just, I don't care.
And there's not.
And it's almost like the belief underneath that
is that I'm not either worthy of it,
so why bother trying
or it's just not worth my time and energy.
They're very different.
However, detachment, while still being present
and engaged is a magnetic quality to have.
It's a magnetic style of way of being.
And in this video, the key is focusing
on who you are being,
because remember we always get a reflection
in life of who we are being.
We don't necessarily always get that which we want
'cause we can want a relationship.
We can want love.
We can want to be magnetic, but wanting implies lacking.
So when we say I want,
we're saying I lack and we're putting out an energy.
Remember everything is energy.
We're putting out an energy that is lacking love.
That is lacking the being
in a relationship and the more we want it
the more we lack it.
Now, a detachment style.
And we could also think
of this in the form of attachment styles.
Attachment is the root of all suffering.
When we are attached to what somebody else thinks,
when we are attached to someone else's validation,
when we're attached to what someone else does,
when we're attached to outcome,
that is what it's called needy energy.
Needy energy is repelling.
Non-needy energy attracts.
Now why is that?
Let's look at what these,
let's look at the form of neediness
and why this completely changes the energy dynamic,
when we begin to embody non-needy energy.
Now, needy energy is when we value and we put importance
on what somebody else thinks and feels about us.
And we even tune our own center of gravity to that person
in order to get their approval,
validation or whatever it is.
So neediness is when we externalize validation approval
and we also make other things outside of us, more important.
What someone else thins is more important.
Now, non-neediness is when we make it and we turn it inside.
And we say, what I think is more important,
not in a narcissistic way, but it's in a way
of understanding our own sense of value and embodiment.
The unhealthy way would be narcissism.
Narcissism is where what I think matters and nothing else
anybody thinks, it doesn't make any difference.
It's like it doesn't,
nothing anybody else says matters,
only what I think matters.
The difference is when we don't value
value other people's approval
or validation over our own,
and we're not tuning ourselves
to other people in order to get our needs met.
And that's what needy energy is.
What we are really needing is we need other people
to meet our needs because our childhood needs weren't met.
So when we're adults,
a lot of times what we're doing is we are replaying
similar childhood dynamics that happened
when we were younger.
And the thing is,
is if our childhood needs weren't met,
maybe mom or dad was physically or emotionally unavailable,
maybe they were criticizing.
Maybe they were abusive,
what can end up happening is in adulthood,
we're attracting similar people,
different people, obviously not our parents,
but similar energy to reflect back that familiar dynamic
because that feels safe and comfortable.
Now what happens is if mom
and dad didn't meet the needs growing up,
we then look to our partner
and we're secretly hoping our partner can close the loop
from childhood to meet our childhood needs.
But normally we attract similar dynamics
that we're working on energetically.
So neediness a lot of times means
that in childhood there were needs that weren't met.
And what we're now trying to do is to get our needs met.
And we're looking at it through our partner,
thinking they are gonna help us.
Now the challenge with this
and the problem with this is that once again
we're externalizing our own power,
we're externalizing and putting our validation and approval
and what other people think about us on a pedestal,
instead of getting to the core
of who we are to then embody a new,
to then embody like the most empowered version of ourselves.
Now, normally what happens as well is,
I'll get to more in this in a minute,
but this normally stems
from that of an abandonment wound,
feeling emotionally or physically abandoned as a kid,
making a choice and normally having shame,
a belief that says I'm broken,
there's something wrong with me,
but then making a choice that I'm gonna be perfect.
I'm gonna get everyone to like me.
I'm going to tune myself to others to feel safe
because that's what the mechanism was in childhood.
If I was good enough mom and dad wouldn't divorce.
If I was good enough, they wouldn't have left.
But what ends up happening
is we externalize our own sense of happiness.
We externalize all of that
and we're looking to the outside to change,
when of course the way that it works is we must first change
on the inside going out.
Then the reflection begins to change.
Now I was reading a book last night
it's called "Attached,"
talks about attachment styles.
And this video is about detachment styles,
but in general attachment styles
are ways that we attach to other people.
And there are three different forms of this
according to the book "Attached."
And if you go online, there's gonna be like seven.
People get so tied up with these identities
that are like, there's seven different ones,
dismissive, codependent, penguin or whatever.
It's like all these weird, all these different ones
but in general, let's keep it simple.
There's three.
And the three are on one hand, secure attachment.
Secure attachment is when you're able to give love
and receive love equally.
If somebody is having a bad day,
you don't internalize what they're doing and say,
ohh, it means there's something wrong with me.
You don't change your center of gravity and completely give
up your own sense of groundedness to fix somebody else.
And at the same time,
you don't walk away and say screw you.
You are able to be present.
So secure attachment means normally in childhood
your parents were attentive to your needs,
but not overbearing.
And you were able to give and receive love equally.
And now in adulthood,
you have that secure attachment where it's easier
for you to be in that kind of dynamic.
So that's the one that is like the most healthy.
Then we have anxious attachment.
Anxious attachment is when someone leans in for love.
That's when somebody is maybe needy
or wants somebody else's approval or validation.
These normally as a kid,
mom or dad didn't meet the childhood needs.
And therefore they felt like, oh, there's something wrong.
I'm not getting my needs met.
Maybe if I'm a little bit different,
maybe if I do this or this, then I can get my needs met.
So anxious attachment normally is people that lean in,
people that crave, people that want closeness.
So that's anxious attachment.
And then avoidant attachment
is normally people that feel like there's some type
of trust wound there where they can't trust.
And they normally want a lot of independence.
They do not want that intimacy.
They want to keep love at an arms length,
not closer than an arms' length,
but also not much further way than an arms length.
They just want to be here.
Now, normally there's more single people that are avoidant.
There's more avoidant people
than pretty much any other demographic
because secure people tend to be in healthy relationships.
Anxious people tend to maybe not even date
because they're still thinking about,
well, they tend to date,
but it's just a different energy
where avoidants tend to fill up the dating pool.
So with these three different attachments though,
I was looking and reading this book last night
and this is what I think can really help you change.
It can really change your life
because it changed my perspective
on this whole entire thing
when I was reading this book last night.
What makes the difference is,
so you could say
on one hand that the anxious attachment,
they normally have the abandonment wound.
And so does the avoidant,
but the abandonment wound to them means there's shame there.
I feel broken.
There's something wrong with me.
And then what happens is they carry that belief around
and they attract people that reflect back that belief
that I'm broken, people don't choose me.
Those kind of energies.
Now, a lot of what's happened though
for people that are anxious, that I found,
'cause I was anxious,
was I was wanting other people to meet my needs.
And what happened is I realized there was
this people pleasing mentality that I had
and I would tune my own center of gravity
to whoever I was dating.
And it would unpolarize like depolarize things.
What I realized this was though,
is this was the abandonment wound.
And the shame that I felt that I was broken
and what I had to do is I had to stop abandoning myself.
And the key and the secret to this is having vulnerability.
Being able to express the real me,
because shame hides in the dark.
Trying to hide this like polarizing people,
trying to hide the real me,
but it's like, no.
I need to be the real me and be vulnerable
and express what I think,
express what I feel.
Normally, anxious people will be afraid
of showing their emotion,
because they don't wanna get rejected
but actually showing the emotion
in a way that is healthy,
expressing, oh this is how I feel about you.
I'm actually, I want to date you.
I wanna take you out on a date.
There was like this people pleaser mentality
where I was almost afraid to express that
when I was dating like two years ago, three years ago,
the key though is stop abandoning yourself
and to start living by your own compass in a way,
instead of tuning to everybody else
and to start being vulnerable,
to start showing the real you.
That was the cure for anxious.
And what that really is though, is that's an identity shift.
You shift out of this,
you become aware of this old identity
an old way of being, to get your childhood needs met.
And then you start being,
you start living by the virtues of vulnerability
and you start living by the virtues of authenticity.
That's what changed everything for me.
So that begins to change.
And that's the identity shift that is necessary.
Now on the avoidant side,
the avoidant side normally has trouble trusting.
And normally it's because there was some level
of trust that was broken in childhood,
could have been a parent,
could have been a parent cheated on another parent,
very common.
But trust is somebody let you down
and you've made a choice that says I cannot trust anymore.
Now, once again, there's a lot of times as well.
You don't trust yourself.
Just like the the people pleaser,
anxious, abandon themselves,
a lot of times then what happens is the avoidant
may abandon themselves because they think it's safe.
They may abandon themselves.
They may not trust.
They may not trust themselves, trust their own intuition.
So the thing to realize this is what we wanna do
is become aware of these patterns
and then why you're in new values
that help to put us in the more secure, healthy way.
And the values that I highly recommend
whether you're anxious or avoidant is vulnerability
because that's secure to shame and authenticity,
being authentic to who you are.
And and then it's also,
the vulnerability is so important for avoidants
because normally they have this intimacy block
where it's not safe to be intimate,
but the more vulnerable you are,
the more free you actually feel
and the more you can then open your heart,
which is really the key to this whole process.
And then in a secure attachment,
there's no healing really necessary.
There still can be problems in relationships.
Doesn't mean that like things don't come up,
but in general the secure person, their sense of identity.
See, this is all belief systems, by the way.
When you talk about the secure person
they believe they deserve to be loved
and they believe that they can give love.
They expect in a way
for their partner to be emotionally present.
And they feel grounded in who they are.
That's their belief system.
Maybe it was some people have it easier
than others based on how they grew up.
But that's their belief system.
The anxious believes love's gonna leave.
They're not worth sticking around for.
They have to hide who they really are.
People get fed up quickly.
They believe they have too much energy.
They're not enough the way they are.
And that belief system, it projects out.
And normally there's something called the avoidant
and the anxious trap.
They attract each other.
Avoidants do not normally attract other avoidants
because they're both independence
and they don't attract other people that are independent.
They both need somebody,
that's gonna keep that trap alive.
The anxious needs the approval
and validation of the independent person
and the independent person needs someone to need them,
even though they don't want them to get too close.
It's a very interesting dynamic,
but the answer and the key to this,
and then with the avoidant
as I was saying, they believe that they can't trust anybody.
Everyone's gonna let them down.
They're gonna like be,
they're gonna, other people are too much for them.
They're gonna lose their sense of independence.
These are all different belief systems and the answer
and the key to this detachment style is not
The Goldie Locks and the Three Bears
where one bed's too hard.
One bed's too soft.
And then the one is just right.
This is where you can be present.
You can be and show up for your partner,
but not overly not like do it too much,
to where it's being needy.
And it's really about where the energy is coming from.
So pure magnetic energy is,
once again it is detached, yet engaged.
It is present, but it is not attached to outcome.
And it is aware.
That's the other thing too
is becoming aware of these different energies.
And that's what really changes everything.
And that's what really allows you to be magnetic.
Now, something I'm doing is if you haven't seen yet
or signed up, I am going to be doing that
of texting, text messages,
where you can text me your questions.
And I text you two or three times a week.
The epiphanies I'm currently learning ,
the books I'm currently reading.
And I do that via text message.
So if you haven't,
text me at text me at 424-304-0104.
I'll put the link in the top description box below.
And then also if you have not done the frame technique yet,
it is the most powerful technique
for developing magnetic energy from the inside out.
Listen to this video for the next 21 days
and watch what happens.
People that are highly sensitive or empathic,
what happens is when they were kids,
when they were younger,
they went through some type of trauma,
where they had to tune themselves
to their outer environment.
Maybe they had to tune themselves to their mom or their dad.
And what happens is if they weren't getting.