all the good ones are taken every girl I meet seems like the same kind of person
women only want me because of my easel I'm just gonna be that crazy cat lady
nowadays it's just that easy it's hard to connect with people at a deep level
these days I'm just waiting for my princess the guys I meet are never doing
anything with their lives finding a genuine connection these days
is hard every single thing you just heard was a story and many of us have
stories about love stories about being single that keep us being single or keep
us out of love and in this video I'm going to show you how to break free of
those stories so that you could experience more love in your life than
ever before welcome back to another video my name is Erin and I hope people
expand their consciousness now in this video I'm gonna be showing you how and
why your story about love your once-upon-a-time is keeping you single
and I've actually thought about this recently too because I've realized how
powerful identity is identity in the way that we see ourselves so there's this
identity for the way that we see ourselves and I've seen some people
before that have an identity maybe they are a certain age maybe they're like 32
years old and normally that's when the pressure comes on for somebody to think
oh I need to have kids a woman to think oh I need to have kids because now's my
time and at some times what will happen is as they start to identify with being
that person or they they say tell themselves a story that all my other
friends are getting married and having kids Here I am all single that story and
that identity of seeing them as somebody who's single and 32 years old and a
biological clock is ticking away as they tell themselves that story
that's when they start to create more and more pain for themselves and that's
when they start to lock in their identity and then they think actions and
they take actions equal to that they feel feelings equal to that and they
will literally repel people from coming into their life because of that level of
identity so even like you ever heard somebody call somebody a crazy cat lady
I'm just one of those crazy I'm gonna end up being one of those crazy
ladies single and lonely that's a story but that's also an identity that gives
them a visual mental image and when we have that we are then moving towards
that whether we are just joking about it or not it's very important to understand
one our identity and then two our story we tell ourselves about who we are and
how love shows up on our life so the stories we have will change from person
to person every person will have a different story and everyone's story is
based on meaning the meaning we give things and that meaning we give things
many times is on autopilot from a long period of time we have a story about
money we have a story about love we have a story about health and all of these
stories we have we may say oh it's hard for me to lose weight it always takes
this or I always bounced back to this level and the part of that is bouncing
back to this level because the identity may be that I'm a bigger person and it's
hard for me to lose weight which is a story the stories we tell ourselves are
equal to the reality we experience and the thing is as most people's stories
are on autopilot and they're just not aware of it they may say oh when it
comes to money I have to work this nine-to-five job I don't like not only
that the money just come doesn't come very often and when it does come it goes
quickly it's all story the story many times the stories also come from our
parents growing up how did our parents treat money were they worried they were
gonna lose it and so then you might find that you also have a story that says
money is scarce there's only a little bit of it I need to make sure I make the
most of this in this and having this scarcity mindset what about love do you
view and have your story about love is your story about love that it's hard to
attract love that you always attract the same person with a different face is
your story about love that uh that you don't ever have a real genuine deep
spiritual connection for me and my own stories let me share with you some of
them and how I broke out of them now one of my stories used to be about love in
general love in general as well understand that we have stories about
what it takes for us to be loved and we have
rules about how we know love is met in our life
for example subconsciously I used to have a story that said that the way
people show me love is by controlling me because if you know my story between 7
and 15 years old I had the stet the ex stepmom in my life and she was
controlling manipulative emotionally physically mentally abusive and very
that controlling where my brother and I had no freedom whatsoever and then 15
years old comes around my dad divorces her my brother and I now have freedom
but after that even I got into my first relationship I was with somebody who was
very jealous she was always wondering what I was she didn't like how I was she
didn't like there was so much to try and control about me and then I was with her
for a couple years and then eventually I broke up with her and when I broke up
with her I think I got transferred to a department at Nordstrom's in women's
shoes I got transferred to a better department with a manager that was
almost the same type of personalities my ex stepmom i associated woman i had a
story about woman that was that woman wanted to control me and really what I
was saying is that's the way I thought woman were supposed to love me because
the model that I had growing up for that period of my life is 7 to 15 years old
with somebody and the way that I thought love was was control and I've seen this
in other people's lives too in different ways my buddy Victor who many of you
guys know Victor odo his parents really worried about him growing up because he
had a you know fire fire fire cracker accident and he was in a lot of pain and
it's very traumatic and his parents felt guilty about it but his parents were
always worried something's gonna happen to him and his mom would tell him I
worry about you because I love you so he started to associate worry with love so
guess what now with his kids he worries a lot about his kids not he didn't know
for a while now he knows that that worry for his kids is him trying to love his
kids in the same way he may worry about money
worry about money not knowing that that's his way of loving and and wanting
to create more of it that's what he thinks he has to do because we associate
love with a certain emotion growing up and the story we tell ourselves about
love specifically is going to control the kind of people we attract into our
life and the kind of story that we have maybe you had divorced parents that guy
did part of me started to develop a story that said I don't ever want to get
married because I see my dad go through two divorces and I've seen a lot of pain
with having to you know go back and forth and in the pain of my ex stepmom
in my life for that period of time and part of it and I've seen the way my ex
stepmom even to this day treats my dad some I don't know whatever I'll have to
experience however that pain of that story of seeing that as made me made the
meaning in my own life like I don't ever want to get married I don't ever want to
have to do with that and I don't ever have to worry about somebody trying to
take half my stuff because the situation to my dad my extant mom is pretty crazy
she lies about a lot of things and my dad's the nicest guy in the world he
just gets taken advantage of I don't want to be that that's my story and I'd
realized recently that I have a story that says that most likely if I get
married I will get divorced because that's what I saw growing up and why go
through all that pain so subconsciously my story is attributing pain to divorce
and pain to love because I so I assume and associate that with that's probably
what's gonna happen anyways that's the story I'm telling myself and that story
remains on autopilot I also realized that I had one route experience from
when I was like 13 14 years old when I was at this park and recreational summer
school type thing and it was becoming getting rejected by this girl that I
asked out she was 18 or 19 years old she was one of the teachers and there was
this little dance that only teenagers could go to and I was like 13 so I was
all excited I got to go and I was like discouraged I was thinking about our
ticket about her she's like 18 and then I uh I went up and asked her
hey do you want to dance and she kind of laughed and goes head dance with this
one is your age dance with her as it haha Jack dad
how about God and says I'm not worthy I'm not worthy maybe if I do more things
maybe I could finally be worthy and then that that story started and then I
associated pain with stepping out of my comfort zone and and up and and putting
myself out there so these stories sometimes are subconscious but the key
is just being aware of what is your story in the way that you get out of
this is you see these things that have happened as stories that's it once you
see them as stories they don't have as much power over you the only time they
have a massive amount of power over you is when you think and you believe your
stories you think your stories are who you are instead of seeing them for
stories it's like watching a movie once upon a time in Hollywood and you watch
that movie and it's like you you're able to despendo belief and see that as a
story but it's not real what have been cool Phyllis Rowe though because the
twist at the end you know what I mean if you've seen that movie that much better
ending that actually what happened in real life but a story is a story and and
the more we believe in our stories the more power they have over us and I'll
tell you right now that the the unlocking of this is becoming aware of
your story about love and what you have to do to be loved and what you have to
do to give how you express your love Andrea the world you may find that you
know I I found that even though I experienced the pain of that control
part of me when I was trying to help other people in my family sometimes I
try to control situations I'm like well if I just give you this money and if I
just help you like this and if you want do this then you'll get out of your pain
I want people out of pain but I do that sometimes in a way of trying to control
it because that's what I learned love was and if I could just you know help
you out of the pain but now I realize that I have a story about even that
there's stories on stories on stories like racks on racks on racks but she got
stories on stories on stories people will have a story about their
story so they'll say well yeah that's my story but stories are hard to change
stories you can't just change like this you got to really work at it change
can't be that easy beliefs are hard to find
what are beliefs you see now we have stories about stories here's the thing
every moment we recreate ourselves every moment we recreate ourselves every
moment we create recreate ourselves the thing is is we keep recreating ourselves
to be the same identity to put the same story over and over and over again we're
like oh it's hard to attract the right person it's hard to write the chart re
the person it's so hard to talk to high person we keep telling ourselves that
and then therefore it's our reality and then the key to it though is becoming
aware of the story and seeing it for what it is it's just a story
and when you start to become aware of your stories and you shine the light on
the stories you see that you can then change the story the key to this and the
reason so many people are single is because their story is that love is hard
to come into their life it's that you they feel like they are not enough they
feel like they are not enough therefore they put out an energy that says I'm not
enough and then when they go out into the world they also get people that are
responding to that energy that may not be as attracted because they feel that
that person believes they're not enough or if they do attract the relationship
they attract someone who probably also always also believes they're not enough
it's always a direct one-on-one reflection the key to this whole process
is becoming aware of the stories you tell yourself and if you want help with
that look at the stories your parents tell themselves where your parents
divorced today then associate love with pain did they use their kids as pawns
between their own emotional baggage happens a lot with divorces and then
these kids the kids develop these belief systems and these stories about the way
love is and who they are and what they have to do to be worthy so the power
though is simply becoming aware of your stories by starting to ask yourself the
question what is my story about love what is my story about Who I am right
now in my life what is my story about how and my rules for how I love and what
it takes for me to be loved and the rules I have for how I know
Mette what that means it's like what if we had these rules like well I know I'm
loved when every when everyone in my family tells me all the time how much
they love me when when I'm constant validation when they do nice things for
me all of these things are outside of us rather than giving ourselves love we
have all these rules and it's almost impossible to feel loved because not
everyone all the time is going to tell us that they love us because we've set
such high barrier to rule the rules to it but what if we lowered the error of
entry to the rules and we said you know what I'm gonna feel loved anytime I
focus on my heart I'm gonna feel loved anytime I realize I'm grateful for what
I have and if we redefine it we redefine our rules we find that it changes when I
read to find my rules and realize Oh control there's an equal love and I
changed the meaning of my past the pain of my past I realized that led me to a
spiritual awakening the meaning of my story changed that's when then I never
attracted someone in my life controlling like that again because I completed that
pattern I changed the story is what I did and in your story right now just
like a movie in your story right now you're either the star of your own story
or you're the cameo in someone else's movie and many people that are single
are trying to be the Cameo in someone else's movie and that's why they're
single if you were to instead take the star role back and then move forward
with that powerful energy that beautiful energy of knowing you are enough you'll
then putting out a new energy you're playing a new role and people then
respond to you as you made that change of that role within you
you see that's the key people are responding to us based on the energy we
are putting out and if we're putting out the energy of a cameo then that person
will treat us and such and they will continue to be the star of their movie
and you'll just be the little pert that the person that's there and remember if
you treat somebody like a celebrity they're gonna treat you like a fan so if
you take your star role back and then people will start to treat you that way
as well but you have to first off become aware the story you telling yourself
about them about love the story you're telling yourself and the role that
you're playing the identity you're playing and at any point you can change
it it's just that up into this point you thought it was set you thought you were
given a script and you thought you were told this is the script that I meant to
to read and this is all there is not knowing you could change it
you're the director you were the person that can change at any moment and you
could change your story by changing the meaning everything up until now led you
to this point and from this point going forward you could now change it so I
have a whole series on how to stop chasing love how to stop chasing money
and it's one of the most powerful series I have on YouTube I'll go and put that
playlist right here check out that playlist and it'll help you on this
journey as well other than that hope you enjoyed this video and as always let's
see how that next one peace much love and namaste