Hello my wonderful friend! Today's video is on how to get out of the friend zone:
Escape forever. Now what you are going to learn today is based on proven
principles and science. I am not going to be teaching you how to play mind games
and tricks because, guys, they actually don't work, not long-term they don't.
They can actually hurt your relationship long term. I don't want that for you,
I want you to get results. If you have ever wondered why you are in the friend zone
and how to get out of it you need this video. Before we get started be sure to
subscribe and ring that notification bell.
My name is Melannie, I'm a dating and relationship coach for Christian men.
I help you get the girl of your dreams. I am also the creator of the online course
How to Get a Girlfriend, so to learn how to get a girlfriend be sure to check out
the link in the description below for more information on that.
So how do you get out of the friend zone? I'm sure you know how painful it is to
be stuck in the friend zone and not know how to get out. First let's start with
"why are you in the friend zone?" That's one of the most empowering and important
questions you can ask. There are three common reasons someone gets put in the
friend zone, so we're just going to go over those briefly before we get into
the tips on how to get out. Now the first reason we're going to talk about, is
often someone is put in the friend zone because she's totally interested and she
thinks you're really cute, but she doesn't think you're interested
because you haven't made a move. I actually recently did a video on signs
she wants to be more than friends, be sure to check out the link for that in
the description below to see if maybe that's your situation. There is a full
possibility that she's interested, she just doesn't think you are. So you want
to make sure you don't wait too long or she will move on. The second reason is if
you just aren't compatible or if she doesn't see you as being compatible. The
tips I teach you today are certainly going to help you with this, it is
important though to acknowledge, guys if you're not compatible, you're not
compatible. I am not going to lie to you guys just to get views
okay? You cannot make anyone want you. But the truth is, please please pay attention
to this part, you don't want a girl that you have to make want you. You just don't.
She is not your dream girl if she does not want to adore you. So if for some
reason this is the reason you're in the friend zone, again I'm gonna give you
tips to help you with that, to help her see how you could be compatible if you
are, but it's not the end of the world to find that adorable dream girl who
actually wants to want you. And the third reason that you could be put in the
friend zone is that she sees you as a boy or a brother or a friend instead of
an attractive man. Now, the tips I share with you today are going to help you
blast past that barrier, they are going to help her see you as the attractive
amazing man that you are instead of as a boy. You will be able to increase that
attraction, if you are compatible you will help her see that you are
compatible, and you will be able to escape the friend zone.
So let's get started. Tip number one is learn how to set appropriate boundaries.
I'm going to let you guys in on a huge huge key to attraction and getting a
girlfriend and getting a girl to like you. People can only be attracted to
someone that they have respect for. We don't see them as being on the same
level as us. And this is not a conscious thing, this is not something we
think out to be unkind, it's just who we are as humans. We need someone to add
value to our lives and respect is critical for that. One of the ways that
you get this respect is to set appropriate boundaries. This is actually
one of the reasons why a lot of people will tell you to play games and to play
hard-to-get and just stop talking to her and have her come, you know, running back
for more. The truth is, that is actually just a band-aid.
That is a very short-term fix that causes huge long-term problems and will
ruin your relationship. Instead, learn how to say no, learn how to have your own
backbone and how to stand up for yourself. This is where the whole nice
guys always lose concept comes from. It's not that nice guys loose, it's that guys
who are pushovers loose. You don't have to be a nice guy to be a pushover and
you can be a nice guy without being a pushover. If someone does not have enough
respect for themselves to set boundaries and to know what matters to them then
it's really hard for other people to respect them as well. So what can you do
about this? Rather than letting people walk on you or tell you how to think
or always saying yes every time they want you to do anything or always
agreeing with her, have your own mind, your own opinions. If something doesn't
work for you set an appropriate boundary. You should obviously be polite and kind
and everything, but your needs matter and if you don't act like your needs matter
nobody will think your needs matter including you and her. This is something
I do teach about more in my online course How to Get a Girlfriend,
I obviously have more time to address it there, so be sure to check out the link
in the description below especially if this is something that you struggle with
a lot. As you learn how to set appropriate boundaries as you learn to
feel your own sense of worth and share that and show that to other people,
manifest that to other people, it will take you from being the nice guy who
gets walked on to the nice guy who is super hot. If you want her to see
you as a man you have to present yourself as a man. And tip number two
is to dress super hot. I have said this before guys and I will say this again. Girls
love it when you dress hot, because you look hot and it gives us
butterflies it makes us all happy inside, okay? Girls like it when you
present yourself very attractively. I think I'm blushing again guys. I do that
every time. If you want to show her that you are not a boy, but you are a man, then
you need to present yourself as a man. One of the best ways to do this is to
dress super hot. Let her see you as a man. One of the biggest reasons we dress
attractively is to show off our good traits, to show off how attractive we are.
Otherwise we're actually kind of hiding behind our clothes, we're not showing
ourselves to our full potential. I recently have done a couple of videos on
how to dress super attractively. Be sure to check out this one which is things
guys wear that girls love. And be sure to check out this one which is easiest ways to
increase your style and your confidence. There are links to both in the
description below. Some easy things you can start incorporating is switch out
your t-shirts for Henley shirts. They're super hot, guys, okay? They just are.
And, they grow you up, they bring you to the man status instead of the boy
status. And even if you live in a really hot area or if it's a hot time of year a
Henley can be just as cool as a t-shirt. Another option is wear collared shirts
that are short sleeved as well. Also be sure to swap out tennis shoes for a more
dressy shoe, that can help a ton. And P.S. It's just super hot, okay? I'm just
throwing that out there. Also be sure that you are wearing some attractive
cologne, and not too much but enough to make her go "whoa, this guy is hot." And
make sure you keep your facial hair trimmed and you have a nice haircut.
P.S. On the subject of haircuts, I have had some comments from you guys saying
"Hey, I'm bald, does that mean it's over?" No, guys, okay? There are men who are
completely bald that I personally know who are incredibly attractive, okay? Like
be still my beating heart attractive, okay? So it's not the end of
the world at all. One tip though is you may want to consider just going
completely bald. Often if you just embrace it and just
shave it all that is actually more attractive. So that's just something to
consider. So basically to sum up, look hot. Check out those links in the
description below, the way we present ourselves really does matter. So many
people think "Well I'm just not attractive." No, that's not the case, you
just have to present yourself in the right way, because, newsflash guys,
everyone has to do that. Everyone who is attractive has to apply these same
skills. So show her how attractive you are, because she wants to see it. Real
fast before we get to tip number 3, I want to hear from you in the comments.
If I should do more videos on the friend zone be sure to type "Yes!" in the
comments below. And we are to tip number 3. Guys, this one can surprise a lot of
people but it is so powerful. And it is to show her that you have drive and
ambition. This is universally attractive. Both men and women are attracted to
people who are interesting and who have something to offer. When she sees that
you have ambition and drive and interests and you are invested in
something bigger than yourself, whoa, that makes her see you as a man and that
is super hot. As I mentioned earlier, in order for us to feel attraction for
someone we actually have to respect them, and this certainly helps us with this.
So what can you do about it? Make sure that you are invested in hobbies and
interests. You could consider learning something new, starting a new skill, you
could work on volunteer work, you could try and further your career. There are
various things you can do that show that you are an interesting person, you have
drive, you have motivation, and that is really really attractive. I know I sound
like a broken record you guys, but again the whole point here is for her to see
you as a man instead of a boy. This will help with that dramatically. Tip number
four is to let go of the fear of rejection. Now guys, I get it.
This is scary, this is terrifying, and we're opening ourselves up to some hurt
when we do this. However, if you don't get past the fear of rejection you're
actually holding on to far more hurt. If you saw this video which is tips on how
to get a girlfriend, P.S. if you haven't seen it there is a link in the
description below, but if you saw that video you know one of the things I
mentioned is to keep it in perspective. If you are going to get past the
fear of rejection you have to keep it in perspective. Like I mentioned earlier, is
she your dream girl if you have to force her to want you? That doesn't sound like a
dream relationship to me. A dream relationship sounds like someone who
adores you and who wants to adore you and wants to be with you. And the truth
is you deserve to have that type of woman and she is out there. Whether it is
this woman or another woman that is ultimately what you deserve and what you
want. So as scary as it can be it's very
helpful to say and to ask yourself "What is the worst that could happen?" Well, she
could think you're a weirdo, two she may say "Hey, let's just stay friends." And at
that point, okay, now you know where you stand. And if you want to say friends you
can or you can move on. Or three she says "Yes, we should date." And that's
ultimately what you want and that's wonderful, but you won't know it unless
you try. The biggest thing to remember is none of this is a reflection on you, none
of this is a reflection on who you are as a person.
I have personally friend-zoned some guys who were attractive and incredible and
wonderful and they have since moved on to find amazing girls. It was simply that
I was looking for something else or we weren't compatible. That is not a
reflection on you, that does not mean you have failed in any way,
it just means now you are one step closer to your dream girl because you
know one person who is not. So keep it in perspective. You are going to find that
girl and this is not do or die ,this is not
the end of the world if she's not interested, because someone else out
there is praying to meet you. And you're going to find her, but not if you're
staying in the wrong place. Letting go of that fear of rejection is going to help
you not be needy about this and not overthink this, it's going to help
you come from a place of power, because your worth is not dependent on what
happens here, and that is a very very healthy and so much easier position to
come from. Increasing your confidence and your feelings of self-worth and moving
past the fear of rejection are topics that I do cover in my online course so
be sure to check that out in the description below especially if this is
something that you're really struggling with. Because the truth is you deserve to
move past it and why wait to move past it? And we are to tip number 5. And guys,
as a girl this is one of my favorite tips and one of my favorite traits
because it's so attractive, okay? Tip number five is to pursue her. I get
questions and comments from men all the time asking me what to do because
there's a girl they have known for years, they don't know if she likes them and what
should they do? And guys, the answer so often is to just let her know that
you're interested. If you present yourself as a friend, if you present
yourself as a brother type figure, that's how she's going to see you
because that's how you've presented yourself. But if instead you present
yourself as a super awesome guy who's a little bit flirty and lets her know
you're interested, well now she sees you as an attractive man who is interested
in her. If you want to take the attraction level up dramatically
then you want to pursue her. This makes women feel feminine and attractive and
desirable and safe. And it also takes a guy from a boy in her mind to a man
in her mind. So being a little bit flirty, complimenting her, letting her know
you're interested. Sometimes the direct approach is the best.
"Hey, I know we've been friends for a long time, I really don't want to mess up our
friendship, but I'd actually like to get to know you better in kind of like a
date situation. Would you be interested in that?" Sometimes taking the direct
approach is just the best approach. This one really goes along with moving past
the fear of rejection because you have to get past the fear of rejection in
order to pursue her. It's normal to be nervous and it's normal to even be hurt
if it doesn't work out, but at some point you've just got to find out if this is
going to work. And if it does, fabulous, you can move forward, if it doesn't,
that's okay, you can move on and find who it will work with. Because here's an
important point, so pay attention, you can't mess up God's plan for you. You
just can't. God already knows who you are going to be with and he already knows
who's praying to meet someone just like you and you can't mess it up as long as
you try your best. If anything, if it doesn't work out, that's okay because now
you can find who it will. And best-case scenario, someone who you already feel so
close to, you will become even more close to, she will become your girlfriend
and your dream girl. So if you wait forever, you will stay in the friend zone
forever. Be sure to pursue. Again if you check out
my video Signs She Wants to be More Than Friends, that will help you a lot. You can
start applying some of the earlier signs first, that will help you become
more attractive to her, and then start pursuing, start flirting a little bit, and
it's incredible the results that this can have. If you are looking to make sure
you stay out of the friend zone forever and that you are always seen
as a super hot guy then you need my course How to Get a Girlfriend. I teach
you about how to overcome the fear of rejection, how to become confident, and
just how to be super hot, to become a magnet to the type of woman you are
wanting. This is how you become attractive almost effortlessly. Check out
the link in the description below to learn more
about that. Honestly, if you think my YouTube videos are good you are going to
be blown away by my course. Thank you so much for watching my wonderful friend!
Be sure to subscribe, ring that notification bell and give me a big
thumbs up. Speaking of knowing how to get a girl to
like you, be sure to check out my guide 17 Traits Christian Women Want Most in a
Man. This is my free guide you can get through the link in the description
below. I want to hear from you in the comments. Remember, these tips only work
if you actually apply them. So comment and tell me which tip you are going to
start applying first. If we are not yet friends on social media check out the
links in the description below for that as well. And share with a friend. Let's
face it, nothing is more painful than being stuck in the friend zone. Friends
don't let friends struggle so be sure to share this. There's a share button
beneath this video, shout it out on your favorite social media platform. Thank you
so much again my amazing friend and have an amazing day! [blooper beep]
Now what you are going to learn today is based on... [laughter] Good stuff.
I don't know why I always freeze up there. Okay.
Real fast before we- [loosening tongue with a tune] Hey! Okay.