Once upon a time...
Not so long a go
Last year, to be precise
Last year was the year of the ''FOX''...
But i have bad news that you won't like...
Our star man is on his bike...
It's tough...
Oh...without him?
...so tough
Kante? No ... I meant Konchesky
Farewell, Paul!
Pogba? I will sign him today!
Show me the money!
Who cares? You've got Zlatan. Part God...Part man.
No love. You know I don't want you Schweiny? You are no ''Low''. ''Cause you've got nothing left in the locker! Hehe!
We've got to hold on to what we've already got.
£20m ... £40m ... £50m ... I'm selling the lot!
We've signed Wanyama!
And, please, no, St. Totteringham's this year.
And Harry, take free-kicks you'll be shot!
Woah! Here we go again!
Woah-oh! Livin' for the PREM!
Take my hand! Divhead's back again!
Woah-oh! Livin' for the PREM!
Terry is a complete cock - You what?!
Cock - ney ... let me finish!
Two more strikers signed ...
I'm not sure who'll lead the line ...
It's tough... *angry* Jesus Christ. He's tough!
Jurgen's got us running all day! No more!!!
Studge cries in the night.
Jurgen whispers ... Babe ... you''ll be okay
Thanks boss! And God.
My first choice is Mane ... No! Then Origi ... No! Then Ings ... No! Boom!
We've got to get rid of what we've already got.
‎ ‎£20m ... ‎£40m ... ‎£50m ... I'm buying the lot!
Holding?! Xhaka?! Asano?! Our chances are SHOT!
I want to be a winger! Damn you Walcott!
Woah! Here we go again!
Woah-oh! Livin' for the PREM!
We'll finish Top 10 ... Now We've signed Townsend!
OHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOO! Livin' for the PREM!
Divhead's back again!
Welcome to our new home - the Olympic Stadium.
This season - let's compete in true Olympian spirit.
Free perfomance enchancing drugs for everyone!
The Milky banned substances are on me!
Good grief - I think it's time for a major face-lift!
I don't think the stadium looks that bad... I was talking about Jon Flanagan!
There's good news and bad news for the fans ...
Good news - our club is now owned by an investment group from China.
Bad news? Our kits are now designed by an investment group from China
Ranieri inspired his team to win last year's title with pizza and pasta.
... so I've prepared my own regional motivational cuisine ...
Chicken Parmos! Proper mint!
... And if the players don't like it ... then I'll walk out and won't come back!
For a least a week.
Nutrition is vital for success on the pitch ...
... so this season we've got two cooks.
Steve and Lewis.
What? But too many cooks ... spoil the broth!
Don't worry - if the broth gets spoiled ... we've got Ronald McDonald
My name's not Ronald - it's Shaun!
*laughs*
My first act as manager is to seal-up the escape tunnel.
One - sell our top goalscorer from last season. Check.
Two - sell our second most prolific striker. Check
Thank God! Now I won't have to watch him crawl across the pitch ... like a gay cat when he scores a goal!
Three - sell the scorer of the winning goal in the Euro 2016 final ... Check.
Four - replace all three strikers with a 31 year old Spaniard ... who scored 7 goals in 36 games last year
What could possibly go wrong?
I got the manager's job as I said I'd work for free ...
... until I brought success to the club.
Ah let the paychecks start rolling in!
Odemwingie's been sacrificed! We'll be coming second 'cause we've signed Jesus Christ!
Woah! Here we go again!
Woah-oh! Livin' for the PREM!
Fingers crossed ... I don't get sacked again!
Woah-oh! Livin' for the PREM!
Woah! Here we go again!
Woah-oh! Livin' for the PREM!
I've told my team ... stay away from my children!
Woah-oh! Livin' for the PREM!
Hello! Hello! Can somebody get me down! Can somebody get me down! Help! Help! Ya Bastards! Ya Bastaaaards!!!