- I always said that you're not a real mom unless
you have three bodily fluids on you at all times.
- Mine still walk by me and just like wipe their nose.
I'm like, come on!
(upbeat music)
- [Jodie] If you've done it, touch your nose.
- Never have I ever thought my breast pump
was talking to me.
- Oh, mine talked to me for sure.
- Really? - Yeah.
- I thought mine said, "West side."
Over again,
I thought it was like, "West side, west side, west side."
- That is what it sounds like!
- Never have I ever eaten food
that has come out of my kid's mouth.
- Yeah. (chuckles) - Of course.
- Not baby birdin' it or anything, but like yeah.
- Wait, what do you mean?
- Like when you--
- When you chew it up and--
- They chew it up or you chew it up--
- I do that!
- Oh, you do.
- I've chewed- (laughing)
- Of course you do,
Of course you do.
- You are the crunchy mom, I love it.
- Yeah, I know!
- Never have I ever accidentally wiped
my child's poop on myself.
- No.
- I don't think so.
- It wasn't- well, does this count?
I mean, it was shot at me. (laughing)
- Yeah... oh and mine have done the projectile, yeah...
- Yes, yeah.
- That was like a cannon!
- Never have I ever put a fallen pacifier
back in the baby's mouth,
without washing it.
- Does wiping it on your pant legs count?
(laughing)
- You know, by the third baby you're really like
whatever will shut them up, like, it is a mute button--
- It's building antibodies, is all it is.
- Basically...
- Yeah, I always said God made dirt, dirt don't hurt.
- The more germs that you expose
to your children, I think the healthier they get.
- Yeah, I agree,
I was at a restaurant and my kid
was underneath the table and he was very quiet
for a long time, finally I went...
Eating the gum off-- (gasps)
- Oh my gosh!
- The underside of the table!
- Bleh!
- Yep, I was like "No!" (laughing)
Oh and he ate dog poop once.
- [Jodie and Tia] Ooh! My god!
- Disappeared, crawled around--
- What? - I can't!
- He crawled around the back-- - Wait, what?
- Of the sofa and we were like,
"He's awfully quiet back there"
The dog had pooped, it was like a little
Hershey Kiss poop, and we look at him
and he's only got two teeth-- - Oh my god!
- And he's smiling with, no joke,
a big (beep)-eating grin... (laughing)
and I didn't know what to do,
cause I didn't want to freak him out
and be like, I can't tell him to rinse and spit--
- Did you take him to the doctor afterwards?
- I called the doctor,
I said, "What do I do?",
she goes, "Does the dog have worms?",
I said, "No",
she goes, "Then it's fine, just rinse his mouth out".
- I was like, "Oh my god".
- Never have I ever consulted a psychic.
- I didn't call the psychic--
- Oh, I called the psychic.
- You did?
- Oh, for sure. - I saw a psychic.
- Years ago I took my pets to a psychic.
- You did?
- Okay...
- Wait...
- Hold please...
- They can't talk.
- Well listen, the bulldog had this
little orange squishy toy, we had to throw it away
cause it got stinky,
she said, "There's something that he likes to chew on,
it's orange and it's his like his pacifier,"
She said, "He wonders where it is, where is it?"
- Oh! - You threw it away.
- And I was like, - That's so creepy.
- "I had to throw it away!"
- Never have I ever accidentally dropped the baby.
Once.
- I don't know if--
- Fell out of the stroller, he fell out
as I was buckling him in.
I put him in the stroller and I started to put
the strap over him and the stroller wasn't latched--
- Oh, right--
- Ran around to go try to do that
and as I did that he popped out of it, hit his head.
- Oh...
- Never have I ever thought about eating my placenta.
- I knew you were gonna touch your--
- Oh my gosh!
- Crunchy mom, crunchy mom. - I knew...
- You know what makes this even weirder?
It wasn't mine, it was my sister's placenta.
- Did you eat it?
- Yes!
- You did!
- Yes!
- I can't...I can't... (laughing)
- Wait, was it like liver? Like mushy?
- No, it was pills, but I did request to see
my placenta after my baby was born.
- Why didn't you eat yours?
Why did you eat hers and not yours?
- You know what? I don't know.
- Never have I ever lost my (beep) over wasted breastmilk.
Definitely.
- But it wasn't yours right?
It was somebody else's breastmilk?
- No, it was mine! (laughing)
- It's so nice to see both of you guys again.
- I know. - You too.
- This has been so much fun.
- This was just awesome to talk about family
and kids-- - Right?
- We're all grown up.
- We're all working moms here, yes.
- I feel like I got to know you guys really well--
- I know!
(upbeat music)