SPEAKER: I believe that gender is a spectrum,
and identity can change throughout someone's life.
Sometimes I feel like both.
Sometimes I feel like none.
I'm Sam.
I'm a designer and artist living in Singapore.
I first came out as a lesbian, and I'm currently exploring
my transgender identity.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
It was hard growing up.
I got called names and bullied a lot.
Because I was different.
I never identified as fully female growing up.
In the LGBTQIA+ community here in Singapore,
we have had our fair share of insults, abuse, and hate.
Currently, we do not enjoy the same human rights
as heterosexual couples and individuals in Singapore.
I was acutely aware of the risks involved in being out.
Most of all, what I felt was the fear
that I had greatly disappointed my parents.
I didn't want to hide such a large part of my life at home
anymore.
So when the moment came when my mom asked me if I was lesbian,
I thought like, you know, I'm just going to say.
Like, it's now or never.
And I said, what if I told you I was.
And she said, you're not, you're not, Sam, you're not.
And I was like, but I just kind of admitted it to you.
And she said, you know all these things wouldn't
exist if not for the internet.
And after that it was pretty hard.
My dad did not talk to me for about three months.
It was hard for my mom because she was the one who
kept everyone together.
And that was the hard part, because it's not just
about me disappointing my parents.
It was, how are they going to deal with it?
And I had to think about that too.
Over time, I started to learn more
and realized that the gender description female
is no longer how I identify.
I recently came out to my parents as trans.
At first, it was a bit hard for them to understand,
and it took a while for them to process it.
But they always maintained that they love me,
and I'm really thankful for that.
I came out on social media after having come out to my parents.
Through doing this, I have met a community of people
who feel the same way as I do.
Coming out as trans is a relief.
This is how I've always been.
Looking back on my experiences, I
can now make sense of who I am and how I got here.
Fast forward to today, I'm engaged to my partner,
and both our families are really supportive,
which is not common in a conservative city like ours.
I never thought that I would be able to get married
because there is no marriage equality here,
but because it is possible in other countries,
for the first time I feel closer to a reality I never
thought I could experience.
Growing up, I didn't feel represented in the media,
nor knew of a transmasculine person.
And trans people were often subjected
to negative stereotypes.
So in some way, I hope to lead by example.
That my coming out will be helpful to someone
like my younger self and help them feel a little less alone.
[MUSIC PLAYING]