Heya playa, do you ever feel like people tend to overlook you, like they don't really value
the things you have to say or they don't really care about you being there with them?
Don't worry, in this video, I'm going to explain exactly how to get noticed by others.
How to make yourself stand out so you no longer get overlooked.
This is The Josh Speaks.
You're watching The Josh Speaks.
For those of you that are new here, my name is Josh and every single Monday through Friday
I make videos sharing tips, ideas and stories teaching you how to be your best self, now
if you're feeling overlooked chances are the reason is people don't value the things you
have to say so, if you want to work on changing that what you're really going to need to focus
on is sharing with others how you want to be treated.
It seems pretty obvious that anyone would want to be treated with care, kindness, respect,
compassion.
But in most cases, people don't know how to take those values and translate them into
action.
A lot of us tend to carry forward in this world thinking only about our own experiences
and not really thinking about how it's affecting people on the outside and the problem with
that is that we may do things or say things that make us feel good but may not actually
help others on the other side.
And that might be why you feel unheard and overlooked.
Because that person isn't practicing that awareness for how their treating others.
And, the only way they could possibly learn is if you make that effort to teach them.
You have to talk to them about the things that you like and the things that you don't
like.
They're never just gonna guess on their own and get it right.
You need to start grooming them.
Helping them see what kind of person you are and the things that make you feel valued.
For example, you might be in a situation where you're sitting around with your friends or
even your family and you want to share how you feel about something but everyone else's
voices are drowning you out.
In those cases, you might feel completely alone, like no one is listening to you like
you don't even matter.
Well, the best thing for you to do is to pull one person aside and to talk to them individually,
let them know that "Hey, I feel like when I try to talk in our group discussions no
one really pays attention to me.
What should I do?".
Just simply making one person aware is taking a positive step forward.
At least now they can do something with that information.
They can talk to other people or when they're involved in a conversation, they can make
time for you to share your opinion.
Or another example might be that you have crushes on certain guys or girls at your school
and no one seems to give you the time of day.
No one wants to date you, no one wants to talk to you, they may think you're weird and
creepy and because of that you kind of just go into your shell and feel like no one likes
you.
Well in situations like that, sometimes the best thing to do is to talk to that person
directly.
You need to let them know that "Hey, did I do something that weirds you out or creeps
you out?
These are things I want to work on so any advice you can give me would definitely help".
Yes, I know.
That sounds like a crazy thing to say to someone but by being honest with that person, by letting
them know that you want to work on these things, hopefully, then you'll have the opportunity
to share something with them that you can work on and improve.
The same goes for the way that you don't want to be treated.
For example, let's say your friends are making fun of you for something like your race, your
skin color, the way that you sound, your height, any of these different types of factors.
Pull one person aside and let them know how you truly feel, let them know that it doesn't
make you feel good, how you want them to stop and how you want to work with that one person
to make that happen.
Another thing people tend to do when they feel overlooked is overthink everyone's actions.
They may see someone gossiping or whispering and think that that person is just talking
smack about them when in reality that might not be the case.
What you're really going to need to work on is changing your perspective.
Instead of trying to fill in the gaps with what you think other people are thinking,
try to talk to them about it.
Engage them in a conversation.
Ask them questions and really ask yourself at the end of the day, do I really have all
the facts about this situation?
If the answer is no, then don't stress yourself out thinking that it's worse than it is.
Just that simple change in perspective can really make a huge difference.
You go from thinking everyone hates me, no one likes me, no one wants to talk to me to
I don't really know how everyone feels and the only way I'm going to find out is if I
engage with them or talk to them directly.
When you start taking that type of approach, your mindset starts to shift from feeling
overlooked to feeling active in your interactions with others.
You no longer are sitting passively in the back.
You're now actively forward, you're being noticed because you're making your voice heard,
you're learning more about how other people feel about you.
And I know how comfortable it can be to feel like you know everything that everyone else
is already thinking but, it can also feel hurtful and sad and isolating and those are
the kind of things you want to work away from instead of into.
And another thing you can do to help you get more noticed is to ask for help.
There's nothing wrong with turning to someone and saying "Hey, I'm struggling with this.
I'm having trouble with this.
Can you help me in some way?".
This is something I learned from the YouTube channel Depression To Expression.
In one video, Scott talked about how at a job interview when he was feeling anxious
he simply told the interviewer "Hey, I'm feeling anxious right now, is it ok if I have a few
minutes to myself to collect my thoughts and feelings?"
And the interviewer was totally ok with it.
But just talking about and sharing what you're going through, it makes it easier for you
to stand tall right then and there.
You don't have to retreat to the background or hide what's going on and that ends up making
you feel less noticed.
You can be forward, you can be honest, you can be comfortable with who you are.
And maybe that's at the root of it all.
Maybe you tend to feel overlooked and like people don't notice you don't really feel
comfortable with who you are.
Well, I want you to know right here and right now, you're special just the way you are.
You carry that unique gift inside of you that no one else has.
So, share it with the world.
Let it be known.
Bring what you have to the table and make yourself stand out.
But now I want to know, what do you think though?
Do you tend to get overlooked by others or you just simply are never noticed?
Share your thoughts down below in the comments and we'll talk about it.
Thank you so much for watching.
If you enjoyed this video hit the thumbs up button and let me know and if building confidence
in yourself is something you want to work on, definitely check out my book "Embracing
The Awkward", in chapter 6 I kind of give a breakdown as to what you can do to work
on your confidence and to be more secure with who you are.
So, check it out guys and on that note, I'll catch you tomorrow.
As always, love and peace.