in this video you will learn five things that you can do right now that will make
your man think about you constantly. And when you implement these tips he's going
to be showing you that he's thinking about you by texting you and calling you
and spending more time with you.
Don't go anywhere because we're starting right
now hi everyone I'm Dr. Antonio Borrello and I'm a psychologist and a
relationship coach this channel is all about helping you build great
relationships so you can grow happy with the people you love so if you're
interested in making your love life the best part of your life start now by
clicking the subscribe button and hit the bound notification so you aren't
missing anything okay how to make him think about you constantly imagine this
scenario you meet an attractive and successful guy at a party he's flirting
with you and he's showing you that he's really interested so you exchange
numbers and you begin texting back and forth he's funny
articulate and consistent then he asks you on a date and it goes amazingly well
you're having great conversations and both of you are laughing the whole night
and it's like you don't want the date to end because you feel so much chemistry
and attraction at the end of the date he gives you the best hog and tells you
that he wants to see you again soon the next morning he texts you and tells you
that he had a great time and invites you on another date in a few days you agree
and smile to yourself feeling excited and hopeful about him and if you're like
me you probably find yourself thinking about him a lot you catch yourself
daydreaming of what the next date will be like or you wonder what he's doing
and it keeps happening all day you find yourself replaying things that happened
on the date things that you talked about and it happens over and over can you
relate to that scenario if you can then you know how exciting that feeling is
and of course you are probably hoping that he is as excited as you are and
thinking about you as much as you're thinking about him you want him to have
those same magical feelings that you're experiencing well I'm going to tell you
exactly how to make that happen but before we get into it I need you to
understand two things first these are not tips that I made up these are tips
that are based on theories of behavioral psychology and motivation
they really do work and secondly these tips are powerful but they're not
magical these tips aren't going to make an uninterested man suddenly fall in
love with you but if he was initially attracted to you at some point these
tips will certainly piqued his curiosity and get him thinking about you and
wanting you more that's for sure so without further ado here's number one
very the timing of your responses to text messages varying the timing of your
responses is based on the concept of variable interval reinforcement
schedules in psychology a variable interval reinforcement schedule is a
powerful operant conditioning tool used to shape behavior and learning operate
conditioning is a learning process through which the strength of a behavior
is modified by reinforcement or punishment think about how you train a
puppy to learn a trick you give him an instruction he performs the trick and
you reward him with a treat if you stop giving the puppy a treat after he
performs the trick he will eventually stop performing the trick taking this a
step further behavioral psychologists know that changing the rate or time
interval of giving a reinforcement has powerful effects on maintaining the
desired behavior for example if you're gambling and playing a slot machine
sometimes you win sometimes you don't but you know for sure that if you keep
playing you will eventually win a person playing a slot machine will continue
putting money into the slot machine because he or she never knows when the
next reinforcement is coming they keep thinking that with the next quarter he
or she could win fifty or hundred dollars or even more so people keep
trying and hoping that the next time they will win big this is one of the
reasons that gambling is so addictive and so resistant to extinction now let's
go back to texting once you have established that he's interested and
you've also shown him that you're also interested you're going to vary the
amount of time it takes you to respond to his text messages simply put when he
texts you sometimes you will respond within seconds sometimes within minutes
and sometimes within hours and sometimes you might even forget to respond and
when you do that he is going to keep checking his phone to see if you
responded and that means he's also going to be thinking of you
when you do respond he's going to be excited to read it and he's going to get
a hit of dopamine as part of that reward and that just reinforces his behavior
and motivation for you even more think about what happens when you are
interested in a guy and you text him and sometimes he responds right away
sometimes it takes him 30 minutes and sometimes it takes him hours when he
doesn't respond right away what does it do to you well if you like him you're
probably wondering what he's doing is he busy is he working is he away from his
phone did he forget about me but do you like him any less or does it simply
cause you to think about him more doesn't it make you check your phone
more and think about what he's doing so vary the rate in which you respond
and try to make it as random as possible again sometimes you respond immediately
sometimes within minutes sometimes within hours and yes I want you to
sometimes not respond especially if he didn't ask a question number two allow
him to pursue you too often women flip the switch and start pursuing a man
rather than leaning back and allowing him to pursue her and when this happens
he no longer has to exert any effort to prove that he's worthy of her remember
people appreciate and value the things that they work hard for if you give him
all of your affection and time and attention in the beginning what does he
have to work hard for he doesn't and consequently you lose value and his
attraction for you goes down so you have to stop pursuing him that means that you
have to stop texting him in between dates instead you must let him do it
look I know that this one is a difficult one to do because you like him and you
miss him and you want to talk to him it's hard not to reach out because you
want to be connected and communicating but if you want a man to really want you
you must pull away and allow him to miss you allow him to pursue you he's a man
and he needs to do that number three have no expectations I know it's
difficult to not think about the future when you really like someone at the same
time it is important to tame your expectations before you've really gotten
to know someone so take any expectations out of your mind because when you make
something a goal two things happen first you start planning and living in the
future and then you can't measure your progress towards that goal
and secondly when you start thinking of this new person as the one you will
start daydreaming and romanticizing a relationship that doesn't even exist yet
and may never exist so instead of being able to be present and engaged in this
moment you're stuck in a future where you are assuming so much you're
daydreaming and fantasizing of all the amazing times that you'll share that
causes you to elevate the importance of this relationship a great deal and when
you put too much into this outcome you become too invested in a future that you
can't control and that causes anxiety when you really like someone when you
really want someone the stakes are even higher the level of importance you
attach to that person is higher and your level of anxiety and fear of losing that
person goes way up and when that happens any insecurities that you may have about
the relationship or about dating that person manifest in your interactions
with him and guess what happens he feels it he notices those insecurities and it
lowers your values in his eyes and makes you seem needy or clingy or even
desperate and then before you know it he's running for the hills
number four prioritize your life and don't always be available for him men
are attracted to women who have a full life and if you have a full and busy
life you cannot always be available when he is especially if he's calling with
last-minute plans he cannot think that you will drop everything or change your
plans for his last-minute request this goes a long way towards helping him to
see you as a high value woman with an exciting life look I understand that it
isn't always easy to do when you're excited about someone you want to spend
as much time with them as possible but you must make sure that you were keeping
up with the life you had prior to meeting him and you can't stop doing the
things that you were doing before you met him so making keep plans with your
girlfriends and keep your schedule busy this goes a long way towards helping him
to see you as a high-value woman and believe me when you prioritize your life
he's going to take notice and your value in his eyes will go up as will the
challenge so he will be wanting you more than ever
number 5 exude confidence by overcoming your fear of rejection as we've talked
about in other competence in both men and women is very
sexy and it draws people to you confidence creates an aura that draws
people in it shows people that you're comfortable with yourself which grants
you a certain poise and charm and assertiveness and confident people have
a certain air about them that makes you want to get to know them you want to
know what makes them so self-assured and while confidence is an almost
universally attractive trait it's opposite insecurity is almost
universally unattractive and unfortunately insecurity or rejection
sensitivity is often most noticeable when you're dating a person and you fear
that they may leave you because if you fear that your relationship is going to
end you are not likely to behave in ways that exude confidence you'll act in ways
that appear insecure and sabotage your relationship so how do you overcome your
fear of the relationship ending well it's a gradual process that begins with
rejecting a self-fulfilling prophecy you need to reject the belief that others
will leave you or reject you because when you hold on to it you create
situations for it to occur unconsciously you'll do things that will push people
away and then you'll use that rejection as more evidence instead you need to end
the self-fulfilling prophecy by deliberately looking for signs of
acceptance and maybe even writing them down if you need to see no particular
rejection is the end of the world for you it might be painful but you will
survive and you can become stronger as a result
look rejection is a disappointment it's a feeling and it hurts but when you get
rejected you cannot assume that it means something awful about you you have to
embrace the belief that if it's meant to happen it will if you're not compatible
with someone it's not going to work out in the long run anyway rejection doesn't
mean that there's something wrong with you it only means that whatever you're
asking for at this time is not meant to happen you have to believe that
experiencing rejection isn't the same as being unlovable or worthless or destined
to be alone forever in other words rejection doesn't have to
carry that much weight because you don't have to let it dealing with rejection is
an issue that so many people struggle with so if you have some strategies that
you Jews that have helped you to deal with