Fixed it. Fixed it.
Fixed it.
You're welcome. You're welcome.
(upbeat music)
Cristadittert.
I hope I didn't pronounce that miss-
I probably did. And I'm sorry.
What do you say when you really hate
what your husband is wearing?
Like, really hate it.
Ugh, this is where being passive aggressive can really help.
You know, my husband typically wears clothes I love,
I mean, I don't really have anything to say to him
but my guess is if he ever wore something I didn't like
I think I would be really passive aggressive
which is probably the worst way to handle any situation.
But I'd be like, "Ah, that's a shirt.
"Hmm.
"That's an interesting choice for some pants.
"Huh."
Do a lot of, "Huh.
"So that's what you're wearing?"
It's terrible advice to be passive aggressive
but what are you gonna do, what are you gonna say?
Like, "Change, you look stupid."
No, you gotta be kind of nice about it.
Like, "Huh, so that's what you're wearing.
"Okay, cool.
"Cool. Cool. Cool.
"Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
"Hmm. Not my first choice."
Anyway, stuff like that.
You're welcome.
Saved your marriage.
Olivstrez says, "How do you keep your relationship
"romantic during quarantine times?"
Oh.
That's ah.
How do you keep it romantic?
I feel like being stuck in a house with someone
is just by default romantic.
Am I wrong? I might be wrong in this.
I think a lot of people probably heard me say that
and be like, "Uh, what are you talking about?"
Like, obviously I stopped trying with my appearance.
You know, I stopped wearing makeup a long time ago.
I put way too much product in my hair now.
I don't think I remember the last time
I put my contact lenses in.
So...
But I don't know.
But also my husband and I are like still pretty fresh.
We're like a year and a half.
We're pretty fresh.
You gotta read a Cosmo.
I'm sure they have cool tips and stuff.
I don't know, I'm thinking like,
I don't know, make a him a steak?
Make your significant other a steak.
I don't know.
You know, role-play, watch porn together.
I don't know.
Do that stuff.
That's not really romantic, but you know, it could be.
It could be.
Depends on the porn you watch.
I gotta stop.
You're welcome.
Maaaaaalfunction says, "How do I focus on work
"while working from home?
"I love my job, but having a hard time."
Oh, I don't know.
How do you focus on anything
when there's a TV full of all these possibilities
in front of you?
My husband's literally building a table outside.
It is loud. There's drills.
You guys probably can't hear it, but I can.
I love him so much.
"How do I focus on work while working from home?
"I love my job but having a hard time."
I think about--
This is so silly.
I think about when I was a student
and I had a hard time focusing
on my studies when I was at home,
someone said and I can't remember who it was,
but there was this study that if you put on Beethoven
or Mozart while you're doing work,
it helps you focus better.
So I did that and it actually worked.
But then I would put on Beethoven
and I would think about a clockwork orange.
And then my mind would like veer off
into pretty twisted things.
Not twisted, but you know, clockwork orange things.
So, yeah, twisted.
But anyway, how do I focus?
I don't know. You know what?
Give yourself goals.
Say, "If I do this much work by this time
"I'm gonna have some chocolate
"or I'm going to treat myself with a shot of whiskey."
I don't know.
I think that you'll figure it out.
Turn the TV off.
That's my biggest distraction.
And then I can't do anything without the TV on.
So that's the problem with my life.
Anyway. Good luck.
I'm sure...
The fact that you love your job too.
That's pretty sweet.
That's great.
Check, you fixed it.
@shesellswhiskey says, "How do I get my mother in law
"to like me?"
Oh.
Oh no.
How do I get my mother-in-law to like me?
Wow.
Oh, that's rough.
I don't know.
My mother-in-law loves me.
That wasn't cool.
I think you need to reach out and have some hang time.
You guys need to just hang out.
I don't know.
Did you do something?
Why does she not like you?
Just show her that you love your spouse very much.
Usually mothers will be like,
"Hey, if they make my son or daughter happy,
"I should just be happy."
Maybe she's also just kind of a miserable person.
And there's like, nothing you can do.
I don't know.
How do I get my--
Maybe she sucks.
I don't know.
But I really hope you do something.
Just ask her to hang out.
Like do some bonding (bleep).
I don't know, go to the...
What do you do?
Go on a walk.
Ask her to go on a walk
and then tell her something really personal about you.
I don't know.
There's a lot more to that that I want to ask.
Like, why doesn't she like you?
Is she cool?
Does she like most people?
Did you piss her off?
But I'm just gonna assume you're a normal person.
She's a normal person.
She just doesn't like you,
maybe she's too attached to her child
and she just didn't want anybody getting in the way
of her relationship with them.
That's really deep and intense,
but whatever you do I'm sure if you're just yourself,
she's gonna love you.
It might just take time, might just take it.
Dude_itskevin says, "What's the first dine in restaurant
"I should visit once COVID season is over?"
Dine in restaurant?
Oh, like what's the first restaurant you should visit.
I get it.
The first place I would go
I would go anywhere that has good chicken tenders.
I used to go party with my friends
and then we'd end up at Denny's
and then we'd have the chicken tenders with ranch dressing.
And there are moments when I that's all I want.
I just want to go to Denny's
and I want to eat chicken tenders with some ranch dressing.
Oh and mozzarella sticks.
Oh my God.
Once my friends and I went to this horrible bar
in Pasadena, I'm not going to say its name, but it's gross.
And if you're like, "Hey, I know a gross bar."
That's probably it.
And we drank a lot.
And Aaron Blair who works on our show, this was years ago,
ordered every single appetizer on the menu.
Every single one.
Including something called a cheeseburger pizza.
And it tastes exactly like a cheeseburger
and a pizza at the same time.
I don't know if anything can get better than that.
I want to say, go to a nice restaurant, like a nice...
You know, have an experience.
But sometimes you just need to go to a Denny's.
Vanycastro says, "I met a guy who lied about his height
"and he's shorter than me.
"Should I address it with him?"
He knows.
What are you gonna address?
Are you gonna have a conversation?
Like, "If you didn't notice, you're shorter than I am."
But okay, if this is a romantic thing,
then he's starting off with lying
and you have to be like, "Listen,
"you and I both know that you're not taller than I am.
"I just want you to know I acknowledge that.
"And you should apologize."
I think later on, I'd be like,
"Remember when you said you were like 6'2
"but you were really 5'4?
"You kind of lied to me about that."
I have so many other questions.
Do you like this person?
Do you guys get along?
Do you care that he's shorter than you?
If none of those things apply and it's just like
"He's shorter than me
"and I didn't like that he lied to me."
My best advice to you would just be
is that something that's worth talking about?
Pick your battles, pick your battles.
It's the best thing someone ever told me.
You're welcome.
Fixed it.
I'm done.