hey everyone and welcome to top think today we're going to learn about six signs of emotional
immaturity now let's begin everyone grows up you get taller you get stronger your features change
and the shape of your body follows each year you get chronologically older but your mind has an
age of its own you may be an adult physically but your mind could be several years younger or older
we count physical age by counting each birthday but emotional maturity represents something else
something non-linear and very complicated throughout your life you'll meet people
who are wise beyond their years their physical age seems far younger than their emotional age
but you'll also meet people who are very immature they may look like adults but deep down they're
narrow-minded and selfish they can't control their emotions and they think only about themselves
so how can you spot an immature person in your life what red flags tell you when someone is
emotionally immature number one the escalator do they turn every small problem into a big one do
they get angry annoyed or sad when the smallest things go wrong the reason rarely justifies the
rage something tiny and insignificant can launch an immature person into an emotional fury they
criticize others they insult the people they love they adopt an unbreakable victim complex that no
amount of arguing can unravel now some people call this a temper tantrum in more academic
terms we call it emotional escalation but they're essentially the same thing an immature person lets
their impulsive emotions get the best of them on a regular basis each time those emotions blow
small problems out of proportion and create conflict in their personal and social lives
just imagine this situation you're walking down the street when you accidentally bump into someone
else you apologize but this person overreacts immediately they start yelling in your face they
call you clumsy and careless in an instant they lost control of their emotions they turned a small
and simple problem into a larger more aggressive conflict okay let's try another example let's
say you ask your partner to take out the trash this chore only takes 30 seconds but they refuse
to do it they start whining and pouting acting like this chore is the worst thing in the world
if your friend or partner is immature you may hear escalations like these all the time but
adults don't throw temper tantrums adults keep their feelings under control they don't spiral
into fits of anger or salt when something goes wrong if you know someone who does they may be
emotionally immature number two ad hominem have you ever argued with an immature person
it can be incredibly frustrating they rarely focus on the argument at hand instead they ignore
the problem lose control of their feelings and get overwhelmed so what happens next they start
insulting your character many immature people don't know this but this style of arguing actually
has a name it's called an ad hominem argument if you give an ad hominem you're choosing to attack
the person instead of the problem these arguments have little basis in logic fact or reason
but that rarely crosses their mind if someone is using an ad hominem they're more interested
in tearing you apart deep down these people genuinely believe they're winning the argument
but in reality they're only showing how immature they can be now outside of this context ad hominem
arguments can be useful if used strategically these arguments can sway people in one direction
or another in a courtroom for example a lawyer can make an ad hominem argument to discredit a
witness but immature people don't give ad hominem arguments on purpose they criticize others out of
desperation and frustration this is called an abusive ad hominem the goal is not to make a
compelling argument the goal is to directly attack the other individual in other words an abusive ad
hominem is no different than name-calling now if you think someone is emotionally immature
pay close attention to the way they argue do they keep a cool head or do they instantly lose control
if someone starts calling you names they may be as immature as they sound number three
attention hogging immature people crave attention they're happiest when standing in the spotlight
they want to be praised and recognized by others especially adults but what happens when you ignore
an immature person they get restless they lash out they do something to put the spotlight back
on themselves and if that doesn't happen they may lose control of their emotions mature adults grow
out of this need for attention you learn to share the spotlight sometimes you talk about yourself
sometimes you talk about others and you know that attention comes and goes oh but immature people
seek attention their entire lives they can't stand being out of the spotlight and they get irritated
when someone else is the center of the attention when they're being ignored they pout and sulk
they act out because they feel insecure sitting on the sidelines if you're dealing with an immature
adult they may act like you're neglecting them but the problem isn't you this immature person never
learned to share they're too self-absorbed to prioritize anyone but themselves they
demand attention 24 7 because they have a lot of growing up to do number four poor impulse control
every choice you make has consequences some choices affect the people around you others
affect the direction of your life adults consider the consequences before making any decision
no matter how badly they want something they stop to think about what could go wrong
immature adults do not think things through they act purely on impulse they don't think
about the consequences of their actions if they want something they take it right away
but their reckless choices impact others on a daily basis how can you tell if someone has
poor impulse control just listen to the way they talk adults with poor impulse control say rude
and careless things they don't consider how their words affect others they say whatever's on their
mind whether it's hurtful or not interruptions are another sign of poor impulse control
mature adults wait for other people to finish talking they take a moment to consider what was
said then express their opinions immature people refuse to wait their turn they interrupt others
whenever they feel like it because they're not really listening they don't care what the other
person is saying they're just waiting to speak so they jump in whenever they want just think
about conversations you've had with friends and partners do you know someone who says careless
things do you know someone who interrupts you every chance they get if the answer is yes then
you're dealing with an emotionally immature person number five emotional avoidance not everyone who's
immature throws tantrums or demands attention sometimes emotional immaturity shuts people down
alright let's say you want to have a tough conversation with a friend you're unhappy
with a bad habit they've picked up you feel like it's your responsibility to intervene
so you tell them that you're worried how does this person react instead of talking to you
they brush you off they give an excuse to avoid the problem they may say things like
i don't have time for this right now or i'm too stressed to have this conversation even worse
an immature person may laugh or they may ignore you when you want to have a deeper discussion
emotional avoidance is a huge red flag your friend is avoiding tough conversations because they don't
want to confront their problems they'd rather run from their feelings or just stuff them down
if they run away from their problems they don't have to deal with it they don't have to put in
the hard work the unfortunate truth is they may not be mature enough to change but that doesn't
mean your friend is a lost cause if they refuse to have tough conversations you need to confront them
they may ignore your concerns and run away from their issues but an honest confrontation can
snap them out of it but immature people do not grow up overnight if they keep making excuses
then you're dealing with an immature person so it may be time to leave that person behind
number six zero accountability when an immature person breaks something what do they do
they blame someone else they don't take responsibility for their actions they don't
know how to admit that they're wrong they blame other people because they don't want to get in
trouble and they don't want to fail adults should be accountable for their mistakes they should not
blame others for their failures their mistakes are their responsibility and not anyone else's
if you know someone who's emotionally immature then you might see this on a regular basis
immature adults pass the blame whenever they can no matter who they hurt in the process
all right let's say a presentation tanks at work instead of blaming themselves
they may target a co-worker they may claim this co-worker is the reason they failed
immature adults avoid responsibility in every aspect of their lives in their career in their
relationships but why do immature people refuse to accept blame why can't they admit their mistakes
because accepting blame means admitting that you're wrong you're saying that you are at fault
emotionally immature people do not want to get in trouble they do not want to take responsibility
for their mistakes in their minds nothing is ever their fault but you know better hey thank you
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