If you're like me, you've lived a somewhat normal life, if there is such a thing,
up until this point. But for whatever reason, you're asking yourself the question,
"Wait, am I actually autistic? And if I am, what do I do with this information?"
I'm Tay, the Atypical Aspie. If you've never heard that term before, that's kind of just a
term that's being used in the autistic community for people with autism spectrum disorder. I was
diagnosed recently at age 31 after living what other people would deem a very successful,
maybe even easy life, even though it didn't feel easy on the inside. It's felt very much like a
struggle. Today I'm here to share the pros and cons of going through with the diagnosis
at this stage in my life, hopefully helping you answer some of the questions that you might have
if you're in the same place that I was when I was considering whether or not to get a diagnosis.
I'm going to go into more of the actual process of the diagnosis and what that looks like in another
video but today I'm just going to talk about the concerns and the questions that we ask ourselves
as we consider: "Do I go through with the diagnosis?" First of all, if you're at this
point and watching this video and you actually are autistic, you might have already taken some self
tests on the internet because there are a lot out there. I'm going to share with you some of
my favorite in the description below. My absolute favorite is called the Aspie Quiz. It's a little
bit longer but I love the information it gives. If you haven't already done some of the self tests
I highly recommend you start there first because they're actually a really great way to figure out
if it's likely that you're on the autism spectrum. Let's talk about why you would or
wouldn't get a diagnosis. The first thing I did when I realized that I might be on the spectrum
is... I just texted my social worker friend out of the blue, like a good aspie, with no introduction
and no qualifications. I just said, "I think I'm autistic." I said, "What do I do?" She,
like a good social worker, invited me out for drinks. I think she let me just like
share my brain. As aspies, sometimes we get very one-track-minded and we just GO. And she listened
to my thoughts, my concerns, my questions... She has heard from some that it can be more harmful
than beneficial to receive a diagnosis later in life because you've already established a
way of living that has gotten you this far. You have to ask yourself if you're willing
to be able to turn your life upside down and look at it from a completely different angle.
As an autistic person I know that for many of us, change is very hard, and so whenever you think
about completely changing the perspective and the lens through which you see your life, that can be
very daunting. That being said, I want to share with you a quote that I found that sums up,
for me, how I feel like it was to go through with the diagnosis. So this is from one of my favorite
psychologist authors. I've read a lot of them. Lindsay C. Gibson. She's not necessarily...she
doesn't really write about autism but I really love her style and she's just one of those people,
when you read her you're like, "Oh my gosh! She understands me and she understands humanity." Her
work is just truth. It says, "When I see the faces of clients who are discovering their true feelings
for the first time, their expressions reflect a sense of wonderment and peace. It wouldn't be
too much to call it enlightenment. Not one of them would willingly go back to not knowing. With each
bit of truth they encounter within themselves, they experience a feeling of self-reclamation,
despite any regrets they may have. An unmistakable sensation of wholeness comes over them and they
feel as if life is starting over from this new point." And I can honestly say that that has been
the experience for me, although it definitely hasn't been rosy and beautiful the whole way
through. It it's definitely been challenging, and there's been plenty of awkward moments whenever I
share the diagnosis with the people closest to me. But I really do feel like I've gotten this chance
to start over and have more self-compassion and self-understanding and just a healthier view of
how to live my life. Let's talk about the three top concerns that I had before getting
my diagnosis and some questions that you might be asking as well. Number 1: Cost. If you're like me,
you don't like spending money. I am a penny pincher. I love to save. I went ahead and did it.
So for me, I received my diagnosis in 2020. Craziest year of our lives, right? So why not
just go ahead and add a life-changing diagnosis to that year, go ahead! In 2020 I paid $1600 for my
diagnosis. That was a very big sum for me and for my family but we decided that it was an investment
in myself, an investment in my future and that's what I hope to bring to you today is that
you could consider this an investment in yourself. And honestly I feel like an investment in the
world because I think either subconsciously or consciously... I think all of us want to know
our truest self and I think that comes out in a lot of different ways but I think whenever we can
honor and really see our true selves for what they are, I think the world becomes a better place,
because we're able to give more of ourselves to the world in a more free and caring and just
creative way. If cost is an issue for you, there's one kind of rabbit hole that you can go down,
just don't let yourself make this the only option because I definitely spent way too much
time trying to make this happen. I know us aspies can get fixated on things, but occasionally there
are studies at universities or through different psychological practices where they're studying
adult autism and they need participants, so you might do a quick google search just to see if
there's anything in your area where they might be looking for participants. That would get you
possibly an evaluation or at least more resources to be able to pursue one. And then lastly you
could put this out there on something like Go Fund Me, like a crowdsourcing kind of donation
basis. I know that would be kind of scary to put yourself out there like that
but I'm just saying, it is an option and I know a lot of medical needs have been funded
through things like that. That being said, there's some thoughts on cost. TWO: Finding a provider.
This can be tricky. There should theoretically be a ton of medical providers for me to choose from.
I still had to go an hour outside of my city to find a provider that specializes in adult autism.
If you're watching this video and for some reason are like, in a career change moment of your life,
please consider becoming a professional that helps autistic adults because we need so many more! If
you don't live in a major city, definitely do your research. Even if you do live in a major city,
if the provider, the psychologist that you're looking into, if they have written a book read
their books. If they have reviews read all the reviews. Maybe try to get in contact with someone
who has left a review and get even more feedback and an honest review of what their experience was.
And just ask questions. You can even have kind of like an initial intake appointment where you ask
all the questions that you have in your brain and they should be able to help you feel better
about the experience. And if they don't they're probably not the best provider for you. You are
your own self-advocate. I think Laura Zdan... I'm gonna spell it right in the description...
Laura I love your stuff and you were one of the first people that helped me get a diagnosis.
She has a podcast about how she wrote like 10 pages of all the reasons why she was autistic
and she just like handed it to her psychologist. I think they found it very useful in helping
give her the diagnosis that she needed, so make sure that you're keeping track of all
the reasons that you have to support the diagnosis and that will really help your provider. I had a
wonderful experience. My psychologist's name is Dr. Laura Sanders. She was based in Texas but then
moved to Denver, Colorado. if you're in Colorado, lucky for you! Check out Dr. Laura Sanders. I
will provide her information in the description box below. She's wonderful and if you're not,
like I said, search around, ask questions, read books, look through different resources
and figure out how people that you relate to their stories of autism and their experiences,
how they got the help that they needed. And then if you don't happen to have a good experience,
I have heard some things like, that it's not the end of the world. It's not the end of the story.
Like I said, the providers that we do have, some of them are just undereducated. A lot of us are
undereducated about what autism is, especially when it comes to autism in females. If you have an
experience that's not great, I just want to tell you that's not the end of the road and you can
immediately start looking into another option. Just further educate yourself, ask more questions,
meet more people. That can be intimidating for us aspies. You can do it online. There's
so many great resources. Don't let that stop you. Alright, so finding a provider... super important
that you spend time finding one who knows what they're doing. Lastly, what do you do with the
diagnosis? What if you get the diagnosis that you thought you were gonna get? What if you don't get
the diagnosis that you thought you were gonna get? I struggled so much with both of those questions
because as an aspie, I researched the heck out of autism and I knew that I knew that I knew that I
was autistic. It was just one of those things I felt it in my soul. It explained so much.
More videos about that later. I can't wait to share the journey with you. But I was worried
that when I received my diagnosis it wouldn't match up with what I felt, and that was really
scary to me. I want to tell you, first of all, whatever your diagnosis is, it starts and ends
with you and your provider. So you don't have to share that information with anyone. I would say
sit on it let it sink in. It's going to change your life. It's going to change how you view
yourself and the world around you and there's no need to do anything with it quickly, unless
you just want to. So for me, I shared it with my husband who, I'm lucky was super supportive
the entire way, and then gradually started sharing my diagnosis with other people as it felt more
appropriate and as I started learning how to talk about it a little bit more. And then again,
if you don't agree with your diagnosis, trust your gut, start saving up for the next round with
a different provider. There is help out there for you and more people are becoming educated
every day about how to help autistic women and I have I have hope for you that you will get
the help that you need. This process has been life life-changing for me. I would do it all over again
in a heartbeat. I can't wait to share more in upcoming videos about what the diagnostic process
is like, how I got to that point, what my life experiences have been like so far that kind of
led me to believe that I might be autistic... All these things are coming and wherever you're at I
just want to let you know that you're not alone. This can be a really scary process but it can
also be really invigorating and it can bring new life. So tell me in the comments if you've gotten
a diagnosis and how that's affected your life. If you haven't, what's holding you back and how
can I help? What questions can I answer? Check out the description for a lot of resources. I'll
probably post more than I said I would. I hope everybody has a great day! Thanks for watching.