What are the romantic things that you can do with your girlfriend to enhance
your emotional connection?
My name is Coach Natalie and I'm a relationship coach and together with
Coach Adrian we've designed and developed Happily Committed to be a
really safe, nurturing platform for you guys there at home to help you overcome
whatever battles you're facing in your relationships. We believe that with a few
simple tips you can really secure the longevity and the overall health of your
relationship. And as you can imagine romance is such a humongous component of
what being in a happy relationship is. If you forget the romance, your girlfriend,
she'll emotionally disconnect. We love to be romanced, we loved to be swooned,
we love to love.
And so there are a few things you men out there that you can
think about and focus on to make us feel that emotional connection, to make us
feel that romance that we're after, even if you've been in a relationship for a
really really long time.
The first tip is to listen to us. What your girlfriend wants, what your wife
wants, what your partner wants is to feel heard and understood. That is how we
emotionally connect. And as you can imagine we like to communicate our
feelings. We want to be able to share what's happening with us and to us with
you. If we've had a stressful day at work, if we're having a moment with a friend
or family member, if we're stressed about something we want to be able to tell you
and we just want you to listen. When you think about romance people often think
of lady in the Tramp and sharing the spaghetti in the meatball. And with women
it's so much simpler than that. It's not about the fancy restaurant
although taking us somewhere new is nice. Taking us to experience something new is
nice but it's not just about where we go, it's what we do there. And if you're
trying to romance your girlfriend listen to her. Look at her. Eye contact. It's
another huge tip. Look at me when I'm speaking to you. Stare at me when I'm
speaking to you and it makes me feel heard and like connecting to me which of
course encourages me to connect to you.
Another tip, lean in when she speaks to you. Don't sit back with your arms
crossed. That just tells us you're not interested or you're waiting for the
moment to be over or you're really hoping we stop talking soon. And then we
do stop talking, we stop trying, we stop connecting, and then we start losing
interest. And then things just get worse and worse and worse and less and less
and less controllable. Get in front of it now while you still can.
Lean in, arms open, listen to her.
Another tip, tell her why you appreciate her.
We love to feel loved. As women we love to feel needed, we love to nurture. It's a
part of how we're designed. Tell us how much you like it. Tell us that you
appreciate us. If we make the bed let us know. If we stocked the fridge
tell us, "Thanks!" Notice our gestures and we will replicate them. If you make me
feel valued I will continue to show value. If you ignore my gestures I might
stop doing them. Encourage me to continue trying by showing me that you
notice. So if you're trying to romance your girlfriend tell her that you
appreciate her. If you see her helping someone on the street, if you see her
helping a friend, staying up late, talking to her mom, who's going through something,
tell her that you noticed. And that is one of the most romantic gestures you
can do. And that's how you romance a relationship even after many years
together.
A final tip that can help you really romance your girlfriend is quality time.
And what that basically means is put your phone away, if you're spending time
with us and your phone is up and you're on it and you're texting and an email
comes through and you have a last-minute business arrangement, we're not gonna
feel like you're romancing us. She is not gonna feel like you're very interested
in her. She's gonna feel like spending time with her becomes a chore and if you
as her boyfriend or as her partner are trying to romance her, making her feel
like a chore is just not the right way to do it. Make her feel valued, make her
feel like you genuinely enjoy spending time with her, give her verbal
affirmation by reminding her that you appreciate her. Give her physical
affirmation by looking at her, leaning in, arms open and attentively listening to
what it is that she's sharing with you. A tip that I often practice in coaching
and a tip that I will share with you is the idea of reflective listening.
Reflective listening is essentially repeating back to the person what
they've just shared with you. So for example you tell me you've had a lousy
day because your boss is a piece of work and makes you feel unheard, I say, "Wow it
sounds like work is really making you feel undervalued right now. That must be
stressful." It's my way of showing you that I'm here and that I'm present and
that I'm listening. And what women want is to feel like you are here present and
listening. So I would love it if you tried these tips in your relationship.
Let me know how they go. Leave us a comment under this video.
Let us know what tips you've tried what has worked, what hasn't worked, maybe
share what's happening in your specific unique situation so that we can help you
overcome whatever objection is in your way. I invite you to go to
happilycommitted.com. We've got all the goods. There we've got blog articles tips tools
programs products you, name it we've got it.
Because we're here and we're committed to you being happily committed to the
person that you love the most. My name is Coach Natalie thank you for tuning in to
Happily Commited. Do not leave here without subscribing
because we release content just like this all the time and even if you
haven't encountered a big struggle yet the way to make sure that you don't
encounter a struggle is by using preventative tips like this. Don't wait
for the relationship to crumble to make it better. That's the true secret to long
lasting love. So I look forward to your comments and thanks for tuning in