What's the one word that could signal to a bartender that you're an amateur
at ordering drinks? Keep watching to save yourself some embarrassment.
If you don’t want to be on the receiving end of a stare-down that would be the
bartender equivalent of the Soup Nazi, then there are some best practices in
ordering a drink at a bar you should know. From your attitude to getting too
fancy with wording, it all matters to the average bartender and how they serve you.
When it comes to ordering drinks in "fingers," it's a big old signal to
bartenders that you're not who you say you are.
The ever-so-unscientific unit of measurement dates back to Old West saloons,
says Westword. People would use the bartender's fingers to indicate how much liquor they wanted.
But, it's a pretty inconsistent system that has been largely panned for obvious
reasons. Nowadays, if a person asks for one finger, in a non-ironic fashion,
they'll get a three-quarters-of-an-inch pour, which is about an ounce. This helps
the bartender know exactly how much to pour, and also how much to charge.
In addition to being an extra, unnecessary headache for bartenders,
ordering in "fingers" is a giant sign to bartenders that the person doing the ordering
is likely underage. It's a little bit of good old-fashioned overcompensation at play here.
Wondering how an outdated ordering style could possibly signal illegal drinking intentions?
Bartender Emma Witman writes in Business Insider,
"It's a joke among our crowd that the under-21s order in 'fingers' to
try to seem more sophisticated—and less underage."
Take a chance on this ordering style, and Witman will ask to see identification. She's got a job,
and she isn't afraid to do it right, people.
If you're asked to produce an identification card, go ahead and do it, assuming it's not a fake.
"This is the worst fake ID I've ever seen. You realize you made yourself sixty-eight?"
The bartender will examine the card to make sure it's real,
and they might ask a few questions to verify that it's yours.
Many seasoned bartenders will ask what sign you are, as in horoscopes, instead of date of birth.
If the ID is from out of state, they may go so far as to ask what the capital of that state is.
Avoid the hassle by ordering like a normal,
modern person—in shots. You're not packing a six-shooter, after all.
Flagging another drink-ordering no-no, one Reddit user wrote:
"It's less about the drink you order, and more about how you order."
They then add that they'd rather have a customer order "20 different kinds of pisco sours,"
a drink that requires considerable precision and time, than not exhibit proper bar etiquette.
The Redditor wrote that making multiples of that cocktail is
preferable to dealing with an indecisive customer.
A major request of bartenders everywhere is to be sure what you want before you order.
For example, some customers try to order Tito's tequila, which isn't actually a thing.
Not only is this frustrating for the bartender, as well as everyone waiting to order, but it
could also potentially show your inexperience at the bar. Tito's, of course, is a brand of vodka.
One bartender added a point to the thread, commenting,
"Add in there those people who feel self-important enough to shout their order at you out of
turn when there are clearly 40 other people waiting patiently to order. Instant enemy."
And chances are, if you're at a crowded bar or club, your order won't be heard over the talking
and loud music anyway. So, as stated, wait in line for your turn to order. And while you wait,
memorize your drink order so you can properly articulate it to the bartender when you're up.
Still, don't channel acting assertive into being disrespectful. Acting rude won't get you
anywhere. Jenn Tran, a bartender who's served in a variety of bars, told Pacific Standard,
"If you snap your fingers at me, I promise you, I will never serve you."
The same applies for throwing your credit card at the bartender or whistling.
Just don't do it. At that point, you might not even get served.
Some bartenders might also give you a look if you order an Irish Car Bomb or a Frozen Mudslide.
As cringy as those drinks are, they aren't the worst things you can order. On Reddit,
bartenders said they dislike when customers ask for too many modifications.
"Mulled wine! Heavy on the cinnamon, and light on the cloves. Off with you, me lad, and be lively!"
One Reddit user and self-identified bartender shared a list of annoyances,
including when a customer asks for chasers before ordering Sprite after the bartender
lists all the other options. Another common situation is when someone tips 5% after all
the trouble they put the bartender through. This user's comment ended with the statement,
"You have just made an enemy at the bar, and I will put you at the bottom of my priorities."
The Reddit user continued,
"Normally, I just walk away and wait for them to get their s--t together,
but sometimes, they sorta hook you in to their circle of madness, and they won't let go."
But, there are things you can do to make your bartender's night easier.
For starters, make sure you know what to order and that you have a working credit card. And if
you can, order all your party's drinks at once instead of later adding them to an order. Just
because you want to have a fun night out doesn't mean you should ruin the bartender's shift.
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