YOU KNOW WHO ELSE HAD A GREAT WEEK?
BERNIE SANDERS.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) SATURDAY, HE WON THREE CAUCUSES:
WASHINGTON, ALASKA, AND HAWAII, WHERE VOTERS SAID "ALOHA" TO
BERNIE SANDERS, AND TO HILLARY CLINTON THEY SAID "ALOHA."
THAT'S AN EXCITING THREE STATE SWEEP FOR SENATOR SANDERS.
WHAT WAS THAT MAGIC THAT PUT HIM OVER THE TOP?
I'D SAY IT WAS THIS MOMENT ON FRIDAY.
>> NOW, YOU SEE, THIS LITTLE BIRD DOESN'T KNOW IT.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) >> STEPHEN: YES, A BIRD LANDED
ON BERNIE SANDERS PODIUM.
WHAT ARE THE ODDS THAT A BIRD WOULD BE ATTRACTED TO AN OLD MAN
WHO LOOKS LIKE HE HAS BREAD IN HIS POCKETS?
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) (LAUGHTER)
'COURSE THIS IS NOT NECESSARILY A SIGN THAT BERNIE IS THE CHOSEN
ONE.
IT IS SPRING.
BIRDS ARE EVERYWHERE.
IN FACT, I'VE GOT A BIRD RIGHT HERE IN THE STUDIO WHO'S GOING
TO HELP ME SING A HAPPY SONG ABOUT SPRING.
COME ON, MR. BIRD!
SAY HI, EVERYBODY!
>> HI, EVERYBODY.
HI THERE!
♪ >> Stephen: YEAH.
NOW, MR. BIRD, DO YOU WANT TO JOIN ME IN A HAPPY SONG OF
SPRING?
>> I'D LOVE TO!
BUT FIRST, I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT AMERICA'S VANISHING MIDDLE
CLASS.
>> STEPHEN: OH, OKAY. WAIT, ARE YOU THE BIRD THAT LANDED ON
BERNIE'S PODIUM?
>> WHAT?
NO!
THAT WAS A FINCH, I'M A BLUEBIRD.
SO ALL BIRDS LOOK ALIKE TO YOU?
YOU'RE A RACIST.
>> STEPHEN: NO, I'M NOT.
I WAS CONFUSED.
I'M SORRY.
HOW ABOUT WE SING THAT SONG ABOUT SPRING.
>> HOW ABOUT WE SING ABOUT HOW 1% OF THE BIRDS AT AMERICA'S
PARKS GET 99% OF THE BIRD SEED!
FAR TOO MANY BIRDS IN AMERICA CANNOT EVEN AFFORD FOOD TO
REGURGITATE INTO THE MOUTHS OF THEIR YOUNG.
JOIN THE REVOLUTION!
FEEL THE BIRD!
(LAUGHTER) >> STEPHEN: OKAY, I THINK WE'VE
GOT THE MESSAGE.
YOU'RE VOTING FOR BERNIE SANDERS.
>> NO, NO.
MY HEART IS WITH BERNIE, BUT I'M VOTING FOR TRUMP.
>> STEPHEN: WHY TRUMP?
>> MY WHOLE FAMILY COULD NEST IN HIS HAIR.
(LAUGHTER) >> Stephen: THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
FAIR ENOUGH.
WELL, WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.
STAR OF THE HANK WILLIAMS BIOPIC "I SAW THE LIGHT," TOM
HIDDLESTON IS HERE.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) >> OH, HE'S GREAT!
>> STEPHEN: AND FROM THE BROADWAY SHOW "SHE LOVES ME,"
LAURA BENANTI.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) >> LOVE HER!
>> STEPHEN: AND WE'LL HAVE A MUSICAL PERFORMANCE FROM
FRIGHTENED RABBIT.
>> THEY'RE A GREAT BAND, OR SO I'VE HEARD FROM MY FRIENDS.
( BAND PLAYING ) >> STEPHEN: OH, DO YOU HEAR
THAT?
THAT'S THE SWEET SOUND OF JON BATISTE AND STAY HUMAN.
SAY HI, EVERYBODY.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) THEY'RE ABOUT TO FEED YOU THE
FUNK WORM, BUT BEFORE THEY DO, ONE MORE THING.
THE OCULUS RIFT VIRTUAL REALITY HEADSET IS AVAILABLE FOR
PURCHASE TODAY, UNLESS YOU'VE BEEN WEARING ONE THIS ENTIRE
TIME.