I've failed a lot.
I've done entire stand up comedy sets
where no one laughed.
Uploaded videos that have huge dislike ratios
and I've bombed countless auditions, pitches and meetings.
And failing in the moment is hard, right?
You feel embarrassed and ashamed
and your self esteem just like plummets to the ground.
You tell yourself that you're an untalented piece of shit
who's stupid for even trying.
And then to make it worse
you replay these moments over and over
in your head as though
reliving it will somehow change what happened.
The number one thing that helps me deal with failure
is learning how to not take it personally.
And this is hard but once you can separate your identity from failure itself
and approach it more clinically, the quicker you're able to get over it
and get back to trying.
I mean can you imagine how hard it would be
for scientists to make progress
if they experienced crippling shame every time an experiment failed?
Oh my God! I am just like so embarrassed!
Uh, girl I totally get it
but sometimes you have to break a few beakers
to get a substantially viable theory!
You know?
I know, it's just every time I test my hypothesis
and the variables don't add up to the conclusion
that I know the mathematics back
I feel like super stupid.
Oh no baby it's all part of the scientific method, girl!
Here! Have a shot!
Thank you
*choking sounds*
Oh oops that's not whiskey, I'm so sorry!
The sooner you realize that failure
is not a reflection of your self worth
and instead a process that everybody has to go through
to get better
the more you'll embrace it
and actually think that it's a good thing.
Because every failure is one step closer to success
Now I do realize some people are stuck in the fear of failure stage.
Right? Like you're like too afraid to even try.
Whenever I feel afraid and I don't wanna do something
I try to visualize all the worst possible outcomes.
So, if I'm doing a show,
I'll visualize that nobody laughed at a joke
or that I went blank on stage and forgot my set
or that people threw a bunch of tomatoes at me!
And after I go through every terrible outcome
I ask myself will I still be better for this experience?
And the answer is almost always yes!
Because none of these situations had me dying.
And in each one I faced my fears and I experienced personal growth.
Plus, to be honest, people don't care!
If anybody witnesses your failure, yeah they'll cringe
and then they'll move on with their lives
and go on to the next thing!
It was a horrifying moment in time for you,
but you're still a little bit closer to your goal.
Hopefully that helps! I'm Anna Akana.
I'll see you next Thursday!
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