Hello little buns! It is Stef, welcome back to my home!
[Silence]
I don't know how to start. How do I start this?
It's been 10 months on estrogen! That is a long time. Looong time. I can't believe it.
The first thing I need you guys to know is if you have not started estrogen yet,
or if you're planning on starting hormone replacement therapy of any kind, and you're like impatient,
once you get it, it will go so fast. I cannot believe it's 10 months already. I can't believe it.
And it's been such an interesting way,
when I've documented this to compartmentalize the months of my life.
Because it's almost like, "Okay, another month down, another month down, another month down,"
and it just becomes so much easier, because I can look forward to the next month, you know?
Instead of just wondering what the abyss of my life is going to hold. Does that make sense?
I hope it does.
If you watch my last estrogen update-
the 9 months estrogen update, there'll be a link on the screen somewhere here,
or probably as a card, right? That's what they are called now?
You will know that I booked my FFS, which is what I have been working toward for so long,
with all of your support, and the support of some sponsors, it is finally happening!
In two months... or something. Lemme check the exact--
I have one of those apps on my phone that is a countdown, you know what I mean?
So I've been counting down to December 16th, according to the app...
there is now two months, one week...
four days, seven hours, 45 minutes, and zero seconds!
Isn't that fun? It counts down for you. So that's how I've been looking forward to the surgery.
It's- like, that's nine weeks. Nine weeks and four days, that's nothing!
I'm still not afraid, I'm not scared, I'm not nervous, um, I'm just very excited.
And I- I'm sure right before I get to the operating room, I'm gonna be like terrified.
But I know that this cannot result in my death, because I trust this doctor.
So... I'm just looking forward, you know what I mean?
Always forward! Po--
So aside from that amazing, exciting thing, in terms of estrogen and stuff, my boobs are growing!
Like, this is a- this is a pretty intense push-up bra, to be honest with you.
But like, the fact that I have anything up here, to push around, is pretty thrilling to me.
So, that is definitely exciting for me!
And I think really, that's the most of what's gonna be continuing to develop, is my breast tissue,
because everything else is coming along, and has been coming along, and I feel like is in a good space.
In terms of hips, I've noticed that the way that my weight is carried in my midsection is lower.
Instead of going towards the front of my stomach, it goes to the back, near my lower back,
which is where hips are...
I think.
There's not really a flattering way for me to film my body, so I'm not gonna do that.
Um... but uh, you can just look at my Instagram if you wanna see body pictures, you know what I mean?
All in all, things are coming along very nicely, and I cannot wait to continue, and keep going!
Gotta keep going!
I have had a few questions on a few platforms about estrogen... consistency, I guess?
Somebody very recently, within the last few seconds, asked me, "What happens if you skip a day of estrogen?"
And, nothing will really happ- like, you will not feel bad that day. Like, you will not feel gross.
I have had days where I've missed my estrogen completely, and my T-blocker,
and when my doctor showed me like the graph of the way the estrogen is building
and the way the testosterone is lower, it's still 100% consistent; there's no bumps.
So if you miss a day, it's not the end of the world! I figure that might important information for somebody.
I very recently had a situation where I filled up my estrogen- er, my T-blockers too late.
And I had to skip a day. And it was okay, like I was fine.
I was very frustrated, because like [gritting teeth] I wanted them.
But it wasn't the end of the world, everything was okay.
Lastly, I wanted to touch on emotional changes.
I haven't noticed a whole lot of difference recently.
But, compared to before estrogen, I am completely different emotionally, like 100%.
Before estrogen, I would get very angry at- as a response to things.
And then early in estrogen, I would just get really upset,
and I think that was because my hormones were in flux, they were changing so much, right?
So, it makes sense why I would just get overwhelmed and cry,
because like that's what happens when you're in puberty, okay? And that's what was happening to me, you know?
But now, everything is very level.
And I don't experience any issues of any kind with my emotions, like it's just very consistent,
I'm very... stable. And that's new! Like, that is new!
I've historically not been very stable with my emotions, so it's a nice change!
That is all that I have to share with you this time! I hope this has been informative,
and I'm so so thankful for all of you for staying, you know, I guess updated on my transition,
and keeping up with me!
I'm very grateful that I have the ability to share this with so many people, so many supportive people.
And just know that you guys definitely give me strength to keep going! To continue!
To keep the fight on, you know what I mean?
So until next time, just remember that you are super cool, so incredible, strong...
Strong! Or som- I dunno. You're STRONG! [laughs]
I love you so much, bye!
[kisses]