Heya playa, have you ever been hanging out with your crush and wondered to yourself are
we hanging out as just friends, or is this actually a date? Well, I figured out a way
that you can talk to them about it without it being awkward and weird so here are my
tips to figure out if you're actually on a date with your crush. This is The Josh Speaks.
You're watching The Josh Speaks. My name is Josh and every single week I make videos sharing
tips, ideas, and stories teaching you how to be your best self and I think the main
question most people have is should I ask them directly or should I ask them more indirectly?
Is it gonna be weird if I just outright say to them, "Hey, are we on a date?" or should
I kind of be more sleuthy about it and just imply that we're on a date? Here's my actual
take. A lot of times, the reason why you might hesitate in being more direct with your crush
is because you don't really wanna ruin what you currently have with them. Maybe the two
of you are close friends and they're ok with spending time with you, so by asking them
directly are we on a date, you might push them away and make things awkward and that's
the last thing anyone wants. But if you're too indirect then you'll never really know
how they feel. If you're saying things like "I had a really great time with you" and they
respond with "yeah, I'm having a good time too", that really doesn't tell you anything
other than that you're really just enjoying each others company. Is it a date? Who knows!
So what I want you to focus on doing here is establishing what you want in the equation
and how you feel. You can do this by saying something like "You know I'm having a really
good time with you today. I consider this a date, how about you?". Just a simple phrase
like that speaks volumes. It comes off super confident to your crush because you're letting
them know deep down what you think. Most of the time guys are scared to do that because
they're afraid they're gonna push the girl away or they're gonna get rejected but being
confident and really putting yourself out there by establishing that vulnerability is
actually sexier and more confident that way. Even if at the end of the day your crush doesn't
really consider it a date, you're still gonna stand out compared to so many other guys that
skirt around the issue and are just too afraid to stand on their own two feet. On top of
that, one thing you need to know is that most guys like to add a cushion around that statement
to help protect them from actually getting flat out rejected and to help protect their
ego from getting bruised. That cushion tends to look like this. "Hey, I'm having a really
good time hanging out with you. I consider this a date, how about you? But if you just
see us as friends that's ok too. We can just be friends if you want." Adding in that cushion
might save you from a brutal and flat out rejection and might even save the friendship
but it's not ultimately going to lead you to what you want which is to date that person.
Now look, if you're ok with being in the friend zone with them then that's your own choice
but, if you really want to be with them, if you want to take that chance you gotta jump
and you gotta move the cushion and you gotta put yourself out there. Another really important
question that comes up is when you say this. Do you say it at the beginning, the middle,
or the end of that whole hangout experience? Well, I personally think it's best to nest
it somewhere in the middle which kind of gives you a bit of that safety if things become
awkward. If you say it at the beginning and they tell you they just see you as friends,
well then the entire hangout is just gonna be awkward. If you say it at the end and they
tell you that they just see you as a friend, then they're gonna question the whole time
you guys hung out. "Did they actually like me?" "Do they actually want to make a move
on me?", they're gonna second guess everything that happened. But if you nest it somewhere
in the middle, preferably when you guys are talking and laughing and having a good time,
if they tell you they really only see you as a friend, you can kind of just move on
to the next thing you have planned for the night. Maybe getting food, going for a walk,
or going home. Saying it in the middle doesn't guarantee that things won't potentially get
awkward, it might still happen but you reduce the chances of it kind of ruining the whole
experience. The most important thing to remember here is that the longer that you take to find
out where you stand, the better chance you have of ending up in the friend zone. Your
crush is going to feel like you're not taking that initiative and being confident and moving
things forward by actually asking them out on a proper date so be courageous and go for
it. Your crush is going to appreciate that a whole lot more than you kind of sidestepping
and never really being direct. I wanna give a huge shout out to my patrons and YouTube
channel members, now what I want you to do next is to check out the videos over there
on the side where I'm gonna go deeper into how to get closer to your crush. I think a
lot of times what people are most afraid of is making that first move and these videos
listed over here are going to teach you exactly what you need to know to make it happen. So,
check them out and I'll catch you next time. As always, love and peace.