Hello, my name is Ben Lovegrove and in this video I'm going to provide tips and advice
for online daters and dating site webmasters about online dating scams, otherwise known
as romance fraud.
This video one of a series about creating and running online dating sites so be sure
to subscribe or check my channel for the others.
It is an unfortunate fact that with tens of millions of people using online dating sites
each year there are a few peple who fall prey to the fraudsters and scammers.
The sums lost total tens of millions but there is also the emotional cost of a broken heart
and the shame of admitting to falling victim to a con.
Many victims are reluctant to report the financial loss to the authorities because they feel
ashamed of being taken in and fleeced.
So can you, as a dating site member or a site owner, be more aware of the signs?
We are all familiar with the common sense precautions of day to day life.
We lock our homes and vehicles, we zip up bags in crowded streets, and we have learned
to be wary of suspicious emails and phone calls.
However, when people enter the world of online dating they sometimes forget their common
sense and let their guard down.
This is because affairs of the heart and the emotions require that we open up a bit to
strangers.
You can proceed to do so and enjoy great success with online dating.
Millions of people have met their partners (temporary or permanent) through dating sites
but just as we take precautions when out shopping or opening emails so we must be sensible and
wary of what we do online.
Being online, whether it's in a forum, social media, or just commenting on news articles,
often emboldens people.
They sometimes say things that they would not do ordinarily if they were speaking to
others face to face.
This can be a good thing as it opens up honest discussion but it can also get you into hot
water if you're not careful.
You may find that the discussion turns into a heated argument or that you attract the
attention of trolls who delight in goading and provoking people online.
Similarly, when it comes to online dating you need to be aware of the small but nevertheless
significant risks of communicating with strangers who seem to be friendly in every way.
The key thing to remember is that most people instinctively want to TRUST and HELP others.
Good, decent folk are always willing to give a stranger the benefit of the doubt.
It's what makes the vast majority of people on our planet kind people who are willing
to help when someone asks.
But it is also the reason con artists succeed in defrauding us.
They know how to exploit these instincts and feelings.
Know The Signs
First, the fraudster simply communicates with you for weeks or perhaps even months in order
to earn your TRUST.
They behave just as you would expect.
They are kind and attentive.
They respond to your messages and tell you all about themselves.
They open up and encourage you to do likewise.
Unbeknwon to you, they may be sat at home or even in an office with a long list of people
they are in touch with around the world.
This is the grooming stage.
They regard you as a target that needs to be nurtured before they move into the second
stage.
The second stage is when they have gained your trust.
Then they will ask for your HELP.
It may be small sums at first.
Perhaps it's a few dollars for some school books for the children.
Who can resist the urge to help a sick child?
They might ask for a few hundred dollars for medical bills.
And so it continues.
Week after week, month after month, otherwise sensible and intelligent individuals pay out
increasing amounts of money to the fraudsters.
They may get to the point where they are promising to visit you but can't afford the air fare
and ask that you send the money.
They will invent any story that persuades you to send more money.
The sums defrauded this way each year run into tens of millions.
Take Precautions
The Golden Rule of online dating is simple.
Never send anyone any money, no matter how convincing the story.
If you can remember that one at the very least it's a good start, but there are other precautions
you can take.
Never put your full name, exact date of birth, or any external contact details on your dating
site profile where others can see it.
You will obviously have to put some of this on when you register but use the site's privacy
settings to limit what other members will be able to see.
Always communicate with others through the dating site and defer exchanging email addresses
and contact phone numbers until later.
Obviously the whole point of a dating site is to meet people and arrange dates so you'll
have to reveal these later.
However, the majority of fraudsters operate abroad so stick to the site communication
and ignore pleas for your personal email address.
Never reveal any of your financial details.
The fraudster may try to convince you that they have a sum of money they want to send
abroad for safe keeping and trust you to look after it.
Once they have your personal and financial details you are at a high risk of identity
theft and losses from your account.
They may also ask you to receive items they send from abroad for collection by a friend
or relative later.
Never agree to this either as you could become the recipient of drugs or other contraband.
Reporting Crime
If you believe you have been defrauded in the ways described then please report it to
the Police.
You will receive a sympathetic response and they are trained to be receptive to these
reports.
The information you provide may help prevent someone else from becoming a victim.
So while you may not recover all or even some of the money lost you will at least genuinely
help someone else.
Useful Websites
Please visit one or more of these site and read more about romance scams.
Arm yourself with the knowledge and you'll stay safe.
www.actionfraud.police.uk www.scamwatch.gov.au
www.consumeraffairs.com/online-dating-scams
Finally, like all discussion about crime and criminals it can seem a bit scary but as long
as you take these precautions there is no reason why you shouldn't enjoy all the benefits
of online dating.
If you have any experiences with romance fraud and other online dating scams please add a
comment below.
Please share this video with anyone you think might benefit from the advice.
Thank you.
Good luck with your love life!
For more information about starting and running an online dating site visit my business site:
www.redspan.com