It's a Good Idea with Angela Oberer
Stuff you HAVE to share on a first date Tip #207
Hey Angela Oberer, I'm in my mid 40's and just started dating this girl Gina who is
a good 10 yrs younger than me. We match, we're connected, and I'm sure she is my soul mate.
I've had a hard life and don't want to ruin this by saying the wrong things.
What should I do? (Screen says) You can email us at: Info at
LifeLongProductions.com Well hi David, I asked my smartest girlfriends
and here's what we came up with for you. In the very beginning stages of a new relationship,
you want to get to know the person, but you don't want to puke your whole entire life
story in the first few dates. Gina is not your therapist.
If you have previous relationship or life issues you are working through, go see a therapist,
and just share little bits of your life with Gina as they naturally unfold.
You want to get to know each other during the dating phase. So go slowly and don't overwhelm
her with all this other stuff. Cause you don't want to make her feel like
she has to fix your problems. Now having said that, there are some things you HAVE to discuss
on your first date. #1: Are you currently married?
If you are, please be honest. Just come clean and let her decide whether or not she wants
to stay with you or whether she needs to move on.
#2 Do you have kids and grand kids? If you have kids and grand kids that live
at home with you, that could pose a babysitting issue if you guys decide to go out. Or if
you decide to bring her back to your place. #3 Do you have pets?
If you guys decide to go hiking for the day, are you bringing a great big dog with you?
And is Gina allergic to pets? Or do you have to hurry and rush home so you can feed your
dog? Or does Gina have a dog? Does she have to
hurry and race home to feed her dog? Right? So you've got to talk about these things.
#4 Do you have a job? If Gina is expected to pay for all of your
social activity, she kind of needs to know that up front.
If you don't have a job, and you're just hanging around 24/7 that might be a little too much
for a new relationship. Right?
#5 Are you a happy person? Are you happy all by yourself without Gina?
Cause you need to be. Don't bring Gina into the relationship to make you happy. And don't
get into the relationship to make Gina happy. If you are in love and you are soul mates,
that will happen naturally. But don't bring her in to make you happy.
What's going to happen is you will end up spending lavish amounts of money, doing weird
crazy things that create a precedence trying to impress her, that maybe in the future,
you can't maintain. So don't even go there. Just be yourself. Be honest and be happy.
And then Gina or anyone else who is in your space, it's just an added addition and booyah!
It's easy, it's effortless and it's a good idea.
You know how I look at good ideas? I look at them like this: (he squints his eyes, making
a joke) And I just decided that's a good idea.