Ok so I’m sure you guys have heard of this book.
It’s probably on every self improvement reading list.
The book is Dale Carnegie’s How to win friends and influence people.
It’s a pretty good read with some decent advice but I definitely think it falls short
in a few areas.
It was also published in 1936 so ya know, we were still doing some questionable things
back then.
So in this video we’re gonna take a look at a few things you should keep in mind when
it comes to dealing with others and trying to make new friends.
Number one, and this should go without saying and is probably a no brainer for most of you,
but ok number one is don’t be an eggplant emoji.
Seriously.
You guys know what I’m talking about.
you’ve all met that person who’s just too cool for school.
The guy who’s like one ups everything you say or puts you down in front of other people.
That guy isn’t cool.
He’s literally the bad guy in every movie about angsty teenagers.
There’s a reason for that besides the fact that all screenwriters were bullied as kids.
But seriously, It doesn’t make you cool, it doesn’t make girls like you.
It makes you die alone in a back alley behind some greasy strip club while some hobo takes
your last hundred dollar bill you’ve been using as a coke straw.
There’s a reason these people are like this and it has to do with one of the other tips
I’m gonna go over so we’ll come back to that.
Number two, and this is a big one, stop needing to be right.
If someone makes a statement, and is wrong, you don’t have to correct them.
Obviously I’m not talking about meaningful discussions here.
You can disagree with someone, of course you can.
But someone having an opinion that is different than yours or being mistaken on facts doesn’t
give you the right to annihilate them with AcTuALLY.
If you must correct someone because there are real consequences beyond just them being
wrong, do so politely.
Most of the time people will be willing to accept that they are wrong if you don’t
make them feel stupid for being wrong.
Otherwise, just let it go.
If you are getting upset about someone being misinformed that’s a problem, not a them
problem.
Ok so third thing, develop genuine, true, empathy for others.
Think about all the times you were sad right.
Think about when you got picked last in gym class or you weren’t invited to that party.
You know, on a deep down level how that feels.
I know you know that because I know that, and I’m being empathetic towards you.
I’m putting myself in your shoes by imagining how that made me feel.
I’m empathizing with you.
You gotta be able to put yourself in other people’s shoes, but it doesn’t always
have to be sad situations.
For example, Let's say you go to a party where you don’t know many people, and no one is
talking to you.
You see people playing beer pong but they haven’t invited you to come play.
You think, oh jeez everyone here hates me.
Now imagine you were at a party with a few of your friends, people you know really well.
If someone came up to you and introduced themselves and asked to play video games or a drinking
game with your group, would you tell them no?
If the answer is yes, you are a big fat meanie, see point number one.
You would most likely say yea sure.
You don’t hate this person, you just don’t know them, and maybe you’re a little shy
so you didn’t invite them to come play with you.
Now let’s go back to the party where you don’t know many people.
Empathy tells you that those people who haven’t invited you to hang with them do not actually
hate you, they just don’t know you and maybe they are a little shy.
If you introduced yourself to them, I’m sure, like you, they would have no problem
including you in things.
No just keep watching to learn more about how not to be a dummy and make your new friends
hate you.
Number 4 then, is kind of less of a tip and more just a thing to realize.
EVERYONE WANTS TO BE LIKED.
We are social creatures and we just want other people to like us.
That’s really all there is to it.
And the best way to make friends is to find things in other people that you really like
about them, show them that you like them.
Not in fake ways by giving them tons of compliments or kissing their donkey.
But by taking an interest in them, listening to them, and empathizing with them.
Learn to care about them as a person.
The person behind that strip club being robbed by a hobo?
He just wanted to be liked.
He just thought the way to do it was by being “cool” or “better” than everyone else.
The truth is he didn’t even like himself.
And that’s the true secret to making friends with people.
Number 5: Learn to like yourself.
I know it’s hard.
We are our own worst critics, but we must learn to like ourselves otherwise we will
spend our lives pursuing the approval of others.
To be honest that’s definitely a hard one, I still struggle with it sometimes, but I’ve
learned a few things about that too so be sure to hit that subscribe button and ring
the little ding a ling so your ding dong gets a ding ding when I post my next video about
So if you guys got any good stories or insight on this topic leave them in the comments.
If Its good I’ll feature it in the next video.
Here’s the end card with all the end card related things.
Peace.