(all laugh)
(phone vibrates)
- Oh.
Aww.
- What happened?
- Dylan just sent me the cutest text.
(romantic music)
He always wants to know where I'm at and what I'm doing
and who I'm with, he's very protective.
- Oh, he must love you so much.
- Yeah, he never says it but he always shows it.
- Well ladies, I hate to brag but
my boyfriend Chas is so in to me.
He's always telling me what to wear
and what to say in order for him to still like me.
- You two are like, the Danny and Sandy
of this generation, okay?
Uh, greased lightning. (laughs)
- Thank you.
- What's up?
(Katie coughs)
- Oh my god, here we are talking about
our perfect lives and greased lightning,
and Katie's going through a breakup.
- No, don't worry about me.
- But Katie, you don't have a boyfriend,
I mean, what could be sadder?
- Well, even though I broke up with JC,
he's still a really important part of my life.
In fact, he's been watching me this entire time.
(sinister music)
- Oh my god.
- What?
- So romantic!
(romantic music)
It's like I'm watching all the Twilight movies at once.
- So, how many dates did you guys go on?
- Surprisingly, only four.
- Wow.
- You know, it is the little things that really count,
like how Dylan needs to know
all of the passwords to all of my accounts.
- That's sick.
(sinister music)
- Sexy sick. (laughs)
(romantic music)
- Oh yeah. (laughs)
(phone vibrates)
- Who's Dadina?
- Oh, that's just my dad.
I had to change all the male names
in my phone to female names.
- Been there.
- Done that, bought the t-shirt.
- Bought the t-shirt! (laughs)
- I mean, who says romance is dead?
Chas won't even let me talk to his friends.
- Yes, Dylan's the same.
- Oh, is he jealous too?
- No, he thinks I'm stupid
and doesn't want me embarrassing him.
- Mm-hmm.
- (laughs) You are!
- I know! (laughs)
(sinister music)
Oh my god, Katie.
JC is going through your personal property!
- Oh my god.
- Who the fuck is this?
- That is...
Real love.
(romantic music)
- I know, it is.
Ladies.
(sad, gentle music) (JC breaking things)
- Yeah.
- Love is work, love takes time,
love is frightening, love keeps you on edge,
and makes you need anxiety meds,
love keeps you awake at night.
- I haven't slept in so long.
- Unbelievable.
- Hard pivot, but...
- Yeah!
- Chas and I have been having the most wild sex.
- Ooh!
- He demands sex from me twice a day
unless I'm on my period, and he never goes down on me.
(sinister music)
- Are you for real?
Dylan never goes down on me!
(romantic music)
- What?
- [Both] Yes!
- Give it up, girl.
- So dry!
- Oh my goodness.
- Should I get back together with JC?
He's been trying all these really romantic gestures
to manipulate me into getting back together with him.
- Like what?
- Oh, I don't know, like costumes, and funny accents.
- Hello!
I'm always watching.
- Oh my god, he's trying to win you back
just like in Mrs. Doubtfire!
- (laughs) I don't know what that is.
(all laugh)
(sinister music)
- Oh my god, I almost forgot.
Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid.
- [Both] Stupid, stupid stupid. (both laugh)
- Would you ladies mind if I took
a photo of you two together?
Dylan, he likes to have a photo to know who I'm with
to make sure it's not a man.
He got back to me already.
- Oh my god, I cannot believe he talks to you like that.
- Oh.
- It's so passionate.
(romantic music)
- So passionate! - Yeah, that's it, yeah!