- Are you in this?
- [Liz] No, I'm not in this.
- Okay.
- I don't wanna be in your video and, by the way,
that's dinner you're eating.
- Hi everyone, we're here in New Jersey,
if you've been watching this show for a while,
you know how much my heart and soul belongs here.
It tastes like home.
The barometer of a good fudge is if you taste it
and you feel like you're at the Jersey Shore in August.
Just the tastes like the bottom of a gas grill
to me which, again, New Jersey.
I'm thrilled to be here today
to kind of eat my way through this particular theme park,
one that I happened to grow up in.
We're starting strong.
I truthfully didn't count how many iconic items
we're gonna work our way through today.
I think I tallied somewhere near
17 unidentifiable things in the fridge and pantry
and we're just gonna kind of see what happens.
Do you know I woke up this morning and I was like,
"Am I gonna end up eating dog food today?"
Okay, bear with me, let's wander into the first area.
(upbeat music)
So found a tin of circular crackers,
there was no description as to what kind of flavoring
or how long they've been in the pantry
and there were only four of them left,
which seems really inconsiderate
of everyone who ate them before.
So.
Oh yeah.
So this is just like a very bland, salty bite,
like if I had, say, diarrhea from anxiety
I would want to eat these.
If I had some soup I would want to dunk them.
If I had no personality, I would enjoy them more.
So when we wandered into the pantry,
this seemingly very old bottle of wine
was sitting right next to the crackers
while Chelsea was taking her time getting a glass,
I did notice that it is stamped
with the year 1997 on it, which means
probably it's expensive and I shouldn't drink it.
That said, no rules in quarantine.
Cheers.
We'll start there.
Whoo.
It smells like earth.
There she is, she's so beautiful.
- So beautiful, hey cheers.
- Cheers.
Love you, miss you.
- [Chelsea] Love you.
- Okay, so this is a bottle of 1997 red wine.
That is not being stored in any particular way
in the pantry that I grew up eating out of.
Tastes like red wine vinegar, it's very acidic.
I kind of wanna favino it,
like what quality of wine am I drinking right now?
Is it the kind where it is so expensive
that it tastes bad but I know it's good for me
so I should drink it?
Or is it just really bad old wine?
I love it.
- [Chelsea] Mine's great.
- It's turning me on.
Ooh.
Okay.
So that's item number two on our tour, yeah.
But we're gonna keep this, we're gonna keep drinking.
(upbeat music)
We moved on from mystery crackers,
those tiny little,
like mini donuts that just sat for a long time.
And we found this beautiful box of candy
that wasn't in the pantry
when I went to do a scout last night.
In it were several types of chocolate,
all of which were white chocolate,
which means someone who loves me put them there.
The first of which, actually,
was a white chocolate covered peanut butter cup.
And, dear God, look at the ratio of peanut butter
to white chocolate, it's kind of uneven in places
but you have this cavern of peanut butter in the middle
and then you have this dense white chocolate coating
that kind of comes and goes.
So I feel like every bite would be different
but in a beautiful, beautiful way.
Honestly, it's delicious and I wish I knew
where it came from so that I could properly give
that person or place credit,
but I can't,
so thank you.
Oh my god.
(upbeat music)
We moved on from
white chocolate
to pickles that were very clearly canned at one point
but are no longer so.
Oh, she thick.
So these pickles, which also are strangely flat
in appearance have just been in some Tupperware
in the fridge for a bit.
We don't question the food safety practices
of this particular park.
- [Chelsea] I have so many questions.
Wait, two things, followup. - Mm-hmm.
I'm listening.
- Who buys pickles in a can?
And also who then transfers them
to Tupperware to put in the fridge?
- Probably my father.
I understand pickles in a can, that's fine,
pickles in a can doesn't, like,
let that marinate, like let it really marinate to its core.
Do you know I woke up this morning and I was like,
"Am I gonna end up eating dog food today?
"Is that what's gonna happen?"
At least we'll look cute while we do it.
But, okay, so these.
- [Chelsea] Are they spicy?
- These flat briny cucumbers
have been very nicely pickled with some sort of spice.
It honestly just tastes,
it's like a sour spice, it's not like direct spice,
it's just like it's so sour.
Whoo.
The pickles are hollow,
why is everything hollow in this house?
All right.
Oh, no I'm gonna finish that.
- Can we play a game, every time you take a sip,
I have to take a sip?
- Yeah, I assumed that's what we're doing.
Did you already finish a glass of wine?
- No, I'm almost there.
- Okay, but you can't finish your glass before me
because that's awful.
- Fine.
I need to hydrate real bad.
- They're down here.
Okay.
- Is that mom or dad?
What's happening? - Mom.
Oh no. - Did someone yell?
- The return of Liz and Rog.
- [Chelsea] What?
- I am recording, do you wanna come in?
- [Liz] Roger?
- [Roger] What?
- [Liz] Which Salmon am I using?
- You met Rog in the last video, that was Liz.
They adore me.
They did tell me last night that they are happy about 80%
of the time that I am here.
So that was nice.
And I love them so much.
No, you're laughing, I really,
I would like it to be very clear on the internet
that I adore my parents,
because you all called me sulk goblins
and say that I'm heartless.
So no, I love my parents, we get along great,
my brother's a different story.
Just kidding, love him too.
I'm gonna leave that half eaten pickle in there
'cause I don't wanna finish it and these are my rules today.
Wow.
(bright music)
- [Narrator] Chelsea stop.
- I suspected there'd be chicken,
I didn't think I'd find a leg.
Are you in this?
- [Liz] No I'm not in this.
- Okay.
- I don't wanna be in your video.
And, by the way, that's dinner you're eating.
- So I was very excited to find this,
I would say three quarters of a chicken
just hanging out here.
It is heavily sauced
with what I don't know.
There's little juicy pan bits kind of hanging on to it.
My nails don't look bad, mn, okay.
But anyway, I mean, normally I'm not one for a chicken leg
unless like we have prepped ourselves,
like we are in Florida we are
in a turkey leg kind of mindset.
Normally, I have flashbacks
and I prefer a breast or a thigh.
But, you know, anything for the parks.
It tastes like if you caramelized down like 17,000 onions
and make them so juicy and crispy and skinny
and just let them simmer in butter for a little bit,
just like simmer, simmer, simmer, dump, oven,
that's what we're talking about here, which is
good for the soul.
Good for us.
On a scale from one to you are such a little (beep),
how rude would it be,
me, if I stuck this back in the Tupperware
and also put it back in the fridge?
I think I have to eat it, don't I?
- [Chelsea] Yeah.
- It's so rude.
I've lost count of what we have eaten.
I don't think it's anywhere near 20 foods,
which is typically our magic number.
Hold please.
(bright music)
- No, don't you dip it, you dip the thing?
- Okay, so let me find crackers.
- A piece of matzoh.
(dramatic music)
- I know the matzoh's there but it's not a Passover episode.
Okay, well, ah.
Ah, okay.
(bright music)
Okay.
- [Chelsea] Yes.
You're, ah.
- It looks like it could be jam
which is so upsetting 'cause when I bite into it
that's not what it is.
Ah!
- Oh no.
Oh no.
This is the downfall. - This is the decline.
This is the decline, it happens in New Jersey too,
it's so exciting.
It's happening, it's happening.
Just leave me here.
Ugh.
I just need like one minute, just one minute,
it's all I need, one minute.
Oh my god.
I'm nothing if not consistent.
My mother's rolling her eyes.
Why are you not supportive of my hopes and dreams?
(laughs)
Okay, this is matzoh and chopped liver
which is going to be both dry and wet at the same time,
a fun sensation.
Okay.
Rich, savory, salty, dry.
Actually I take back salty, there's no salt here.
I want so much more salt, that's all I want in my life.
It's snowing in New Jersey and I'm still hot.
(beep) wild.
I'm moving back to sweet.
This is fun because I feel like
I am the handler of my destiny
whereas generally it's out of my hands.
I'm gonna clean it up.
- [Liz] I'm not worried, I'm just trying to see
what you're eating.
- Just matzoh and chopped liver.
- [Liz] Okay.
- Oh, I know what I wanted, hold on.
(upbeat music)
Too far.
We have moved on to grocery store pineapple chunks
which, actually, is one of my favorite snacks of all time,
no matter how old I am or where I am in the world.
I actually have
really great memories, walking around my dorm hallway,
freshman year, trying to make new friends,
but already being an authority on stomach issues.
And so when people were constipated
and they'd be like, "Does anyone have Ex-Lax or whatever?"
I'd be like, "No, you just need to eat dry pineapple,
"that's what you need to do."
Oh my god, I just keep looking at my mom,
she's so ashamed.
Anyway, this is just like
dehydrated fruit that tastes like if you poured juice on it
and then coated in sugar and then let sit for a while
and then put it in your mouth.
These are gummy bears but
of no particular brand.
God bless, love them.
They do seem like generic gas station gummy bears,
like you just pick them up
when you're on your way to somewhere,
it doesn't really matter where.
And like even though they all look different,
they're all the same.
- [Liz] Rog do you want a coffee?
(laughs)
- You're just doing it on purpose now.
- [Liz] No, I'm not, at three o'clock
we have a coffee.
- Oh, excuse me.
(dramatic music)
- I said that the wine in the pantry
is a (beep) wine that we wouldn't drink
that we use for cooking,
you should have taken a (beep) good bottle.
What's wrong with you?
- It said 1997, I thought it was good (beep).
- [Liz] Wrong.
- I'm not gonna lie dude, I'm actually like,
a little drunk.
I might need a nap after this.
- Do you remember when I drank cooking wine?
Whenever we travel, I do bring a giant resealable bag
filled with vitamin D, multivitamin,
vitamin C, biotin, just, you know, probiotics,
blackberry, raspberry, loganberry, dewberry.
Blackberry, raspberry, loganberry, dewberry.
Is there another one?
Oh, that's it, I thought there were five.
(soft music)
They're delicious.
They taste like if Tang
and Sunny Delight had a baby.
And I love them.
Is YouTube gonna ban us?
- [Chelsea] Yeah.
(bright music)
- Gigantic chunks of granola.
Again, no expiration date.
Oh no.
It looks like an asteroid.
Like if Mr. Quaker was like,
"This is what I think an asteroid looks like."
(laughs)
- [Chelsea] Has anyone ever referred to the Quaker Man
as Mr. Quaker, this is like a new thing.
- His name isn't Mr. Quaker?
George Washington?
I guess that's his father, excuse me.
I actually did not think
this was going to be very sweet at all.
It is pretty sweet, there's some sort of honey or agave.
Just giving you details about things
that you have no idea what they are.
I'm like, I don't know where it came from,
I don't know where you could buy it if you wanted to.
There is no service available for you,
other than for me to just talk about
what I'm putting in my face, so.
Okay, but this is really sweet granola.
I guess it's evidence, I should have known
that there was some sort of binder
in the way it's not crumbling like normal granola.
Why is everything so hard here?
I'm just gonna walk around, look for more (beep) to eat.
I feel like I didn't really get to experience
the park as a whole, but I'm feel feeling pretty great.
I don't know that you're really welcome
in my theme park home,
per the look on my mother's face
and the way my animals continue to stare at the screen.
- [Chelsea] They're not staring.
Show me, prove it.
- Look at his face.
- Rude. - Can you see?
I love you and I want you to stay safe
and I want Chelsea to stay safe.
And I want everyone to stay inside and be so good
and donate where you can.
And let's go see what Waffle has to say about all this
'cause he really kicked off the last video.
Just drank vinegar.
But I love you.
(sentimental upbeat music)