- Oh, I didn't know what it was.
It was an American MRI or...
(laughs)
We're getting an MRI.
(both laugh)
Dodgy hip.
(upbeat music)
- Which is by the way,
in the wrong order,
sentence wise, ready to eat meals does just fine.
- This is when they're like out in the fields.
They're like behind enemy lines.
- So we're soldiers today.
Damn.
- [Producer] These are military.
- Military food.
- [Producer] Food rations.
(upbeat music)
- The smell already.
- Oh.
- [Producer] So this is what it comes in.
- Okay.
- Sorry.
- First of all, love the packaging.
Very MASH.
- Fairly serious soldier vibes going on here, isn't there?
- Yeah.
It's real GI Joe shit.
- Yeah.
Look at that, war fighter recommended,
war fighter tested, war fighter approved.
- Rib shaped.
Rib shaped.
First of all, I beg to differ.
It is not rib-shaped.
- I try not to have meat in my diet,
but I'm still going to enjoy the brown goop
that the army gives people.
- Like you'd whack that between two burger buns
it'd be grand.
- Yeah. - Do you know what I mean?
- I just can't picture soldiers with a knife and fork
doing this. They're just pick it up and go "Hut!"
- Yeah.
- Defense force!
- Oh.
That was squidgy.
- It's quite nice.
- It's not bad.
- It's probably better than some dinners
I've had for meal prep.
- Like it's grand, I appreciate it for what it is.
I mean, listen, they are there to serve
the people that serve.
- For whatever it is, I'd eat it.
- I want to try the peanut butter.
- Yeah, how's that?
- Oh, fuck.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
That is honestly one of the worst things
I've ever tasted.
- Oh no.
- If I'm in the fields,
am I gonna be like, "oh, where's my condiments?
I need a bit of hot sauce," pew, pew.
Can't, no thank you, not today.
- Got your army gear on, you've got your gun,
and then you have your barbecue sauce on this side
and you're ready at any time. - You'll be sorted.
- Well again, it's preserved, it's preserved
to have it weeks, months from now.
- Yeah.
- After like it's apocalypse food.
- I would take a menu from a takeaway with me to war.
- That's not.
- And order food to be delivered to the area.
- How it works.
- Why is it brown packaging as well?
- Camouflage.
Camouflage.
It blends in.
- You don't want the enemy to see your food.
- Woah, it's camouflaged.
I'm camouflaged.
(upbeat music)
- Well, boy, we're a couple of homegrown army people,
and we're excited to have our next meal.
- This is the same meal,
what are you talking about?
- Well, what are we we looking at here?
- Menu 15, Mexican style chicken stew.
- [Producer] Now I will say yes, that this
does have chicken in it,
and you don't eat it.
Part of this pack did come with some diced pears.
- Yes, love a pear.
- That's a good, that is gonna be delicious.
- This is to live the life of a chicken and then.
- Have this at the end of it.
- An MRE, not even a word, just letters.
- We'll need an MRI after this, do you know that?
- Yeah.
- It smells great.
It looks great.
- Yeah, quite nice, really nice.
- Oh my god, I like this.
- Does being at war affect your taste buds
or something, because like this is flavoursome.
- 10 times better than the pork patty.
- Like do they get dessert?
Do they at least go through this
to then get a congealed pudding or something?
- This has so much flavours in it.
So much flavours.
Very big, very rich in fla-- oh!
- Emman will be reviewing food professionally
starting next week in your local paper.
"Thick, very thick flavour, thick, five out of five."
- With a bit of salt, this is lovely.
This is really nice.
- I think.
- Oh my God.
This is like something I'd make in my Crock Pot.
- Cheese filled pretzels,
chocolate hazelnut cocoa beverage powder,
there's a mouthful.
- Do you want to try a little bit of the pear?
- Bro, I'm eating.
- Okay, sorry.
- So rude.
- Sorry, sir.
- Like this is, it is really yummy.
- [Producer] You would eat this on the field of battle?
- I would eat this on the field, off the field,
where we going.
Eat this every day.
- Every day, every day he'd have it.
- Well, onto the next one.
(upbeat music)
- Joining the defenses, going all in with this now.
- He's converted her.
- Maybe I'll appreciate more.
- Cheese tortellini in a tomato sauce, yes.
Yes.
I get to enjoy this meal, and you have to share it with me,
you don't get to lord over your animal eating products.
Thank you, tortellini au fromage.
Sauce et tomate.
- This is from Italy, isn't it?
- Jesus Christ.
- It's not like tortellini's hard to get right, right?
But this looks and smells like a Ryanair meal,
and I betcha it'll be tastier.
I betcha.
- It camouflages in with the packaging on the shirt.
- Where has she gone?
She's just a floating head.
- Topless.
- What?
- I feel like this is just pasta with sauce.
- Yeah, it is pasta with sauce.
- Then why are you making a comment
that it's tortellini, it's pasta with sauce, boom, easy.
- Well, it is easy, you know what?
Very good point.
- These are just microwave meals.
- It's just like tomato mush.
- That is when you're getting a ready meal on the way home
because you're too lazy to cook dinner.
- Yeah.
- And you whack that in the microwave
and you just eat it to shut your hunger pang up.
- Yeah.
- This is very mushy, like the pasta is very mushy,
and you're like, I don't want, I don't want mushy pasta.
- You're real, you're a real beggars can be choosers
sort of person.
- You're right.
- It's not that bad.
- No.
- Yeah.
- They are unbelievably hard crackers.
Like more like crack you across the face.
- Oh.
- It must be very hard being a soldier,
you're away from your family,
you're, you know, there's a chain of command,
depending on where you are in it, it can be quite difficult.
And then for us to sit here and go,
could use more garlic.
This seems quite privileged to me.
So I want to like, if I think,
I think the food is quite good so far.
- This tastes like tomato mush,
but the fruit punch is nice.
- Although, I think every bite that you hear this
or you have this, you can hear an Italian woman crying.
- Yeah.
- Nope.
I like it.
I would say even if I was not in the army, far away
from loved ones, I would still enjoy this as my meal.
I would say my compliments to the commander in chef.
- Do you reckon when it's
like dinner time and they all get their packs?
They're like, "oh no, it's menu 12 today.
I hate menu 12."
- Yeah, probably.
- I'm going to be one of those picky soldiers
who's like Goldilocks at the fuckin' camp
and is like, "this one is too horrible."
- Sorry.
Can I get salt, please?
- [Producer] Can you have what?
- Salt.
- [Producer] Salt?
A bit of salt? - Yeah, a bit of salt.
- The point of this is to not go, "garcon,
my tortellini au fromage sauce tomate
could use a little pinch of sea salt to it."
That's really not,
this is really about what you have
when you don't have any other options.
And you keep wanting more options.
- Yeah.
(upbeat music)
- Asian style beef strips with vegetables.
Great.
Look, there's a water chestnut in there.
- Oh that smells like Chinese.
If I got this in the Chinese, I'd be happy.
- [Producer] I know it has beef in it,
but for you, Damon, I also got you some fried rice.
- Yes.
- I like stir fry, and I see actual.
- [Both] Vegetables.
- Yeah.
- A solid, solid whole pieces of food,
not just mush.
- So Emman was complaining,
he said he just wanted some Chinese food.
That's he said, if he was in the field,
he'd just want a takeaway menu
and he'd call in and get some Chinese food.
- Yeah.
- And he's been given that.
- It's really nice.
- Oh, it's very salty that sauce.
- It's just salt.
- Ooh.
- Asian style salt.
- Oh my God, this is really good.
- This is definitely the best. - Yeah, you're going at it.
Yeah. - I think it's just a reflex,
because this is the dish I would get in a Chinese.
- Yeah.
- Stir fry. So I'm seeing all the stir fry veg,
and I'm like, my brain's like, you're used to this.
- Uh, how are the vegetables?
You're in a battlefield, you're on
who knows what sort of mission,
you need to try the vegetables.
You can't be picky here.
You need every calorie.
- It's got water chestnuts in it.
- I really like the veg.
I'm just like, I feel like I'm eating a takeaway now.
- [Producer] You don't like vegetables, no?
- You're like a child.
- It's just so much better than you would expect.
Like you would look forward to this in your day.
- It's a tough life being a soldier,
full of hardship and sacrifice,
and if this is what you're eating, I think fair play,
good stuff.
You're doing great.
- And this needs white rice.
- Okay.
- This would be lovely with rice.
- Okay, again--
- This has been fun, like Lego for food.
- Ah, we've tried a few different meals.
Now, some of us had the more meat-y options,
I went with the sides.
I also got to have a little bit of a dessert.
Everything I tried was quite nice.
And I think fair play
to anyone who actually was the one who had to come
up with that system, it was very enjoyable.
- You appreciate how easy it is to make food
when you don't have a heating element,
the fact that you have to put water in a bag
to make your food hot is a bit mad.
- I'd like to see what
Irish defense force meals would be like,
cause it's gonna be that stereotypical.
It's gonna be potatoes, dehydrated Guinness probably
in a sachet, just add water.
- Yeah. - And it becomes a pint.
That'd be ideal.
- It would be.
- We should make that.
- Yeah.
- Good job to anyone who has to eat that in a war,
like I respect you,
and I respect you wholeheartedly, cause that is brave,
to be able to eat all that.
- That's the real bravery of war, eating the food.
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