- How would I describe myself?
Well...
That depends on what you've already heard.
Sex: male.
Height: five eleven.
Hair: brown.
Eyes: green.
Yes, I'm reading off my driver's license.
It has all of my descriptive information,
now, doesn't it?
The word I would use to describe myself is:
Determined
I am determined to get this job.
Sorry, muscle memory kicked in
and I went right into job interview mode.
You know what?
No one has really ever cared enough to ask me
who I think I really am,
so thank you.
I also have no idea how to answer that question
so I'm gonna have to ask you
to come back to me,
but thank you.
I'm looking through a list of adjectives online
but none of them fully capture
who I am.
I mean, some come close.
Maybe... jocular?
Loquacious?
Fecund?
Crapulous?
How am I supposed to answer
a question like that with words, man?
I transcend all those things.
I'm a different person from
when I woke up this morning.
I'm a different person from
when I started this sentence.
I believe in actualizing
all of the things that I want to be with mantras.
I am strong.
I am confident.
I am enough.
Here, say it with me.
You can be all of these things too, buddy.
I prefer to let my woodworking do the talking.
Any other form of self expression
feels showy and unearned.
Well, I don't even know how I would describe myself.
Um, maybe like...
Talented, brilliant, incredible,
amazing, showstopping, spectacular
never the same, totally unique
never been done before--
Contumacious.
Effulgent.
Garrulous.
I really don't love these questions.
It's like you're trying
to psychoanalyze me or something.
What's next, a Rorschach test?
Oh, lemme guess...
Involuntary hypnosis?
What's your game, pal?
I don't know.
Uh, cool, awesome, guy.
There's three, is that enough?
Uh, big league, there's four.
I'm not really sure how to put it into words
but I really relate to this meme right here.
That's right, the one with the cat
with the lasers coming out of his eyes.
I think of myself as being a nice, kind person.
But you know what?
It's really not for me to say.
Who cares what I think ?
How would you describe me?
Puckish, am I right?
But not particularly rhadamanthine.
Perhaps a little spasmodic.
I am a riddle
wrapped in a mystery,
inside an enigma.
Okay, actually I'm pretty boring
but the enigma thing sounded better.
Some people say I'm bossy.
I reject that opinion.
The truth is there are a lot of stupid (bleep) out there
who need someone like me to step in
and tell them what to do.
It's not bossy.
It's compassionate.
Uh... heuristic.
Intransigent.
Munificent.
It's really difficult to boil down
because it's like there's home me, work me, family me,
which is different depending on
what side of the family I'm with.
It's almost like there's no real me. (laughs)
(static)
If you wanna own some of these cool designs
to wear on your own body
the link is in the description
you can be reppin' your favorite YouTube channel
which is this one.
I hope you can't see I'm looking at the script.
(laughs)
Don't be stupid.
Crapulous is a word.
(laughs)
Determined.
(laughs) What was that?
Determined! That's like a Sponge Bob thing.
(Sponge Bob voice) I'm determined.
Some might call me rebarbative.
They can go (bleep) themselves.