- This is an open letter
to all parents and parents-to-be.
First of all, let us start by saying
that being a parent is by no means an easy feat.
So if you yourself are a parent, an expecting parent
or still thinking of being a parent,
know that it takes someone truly remarkable
to provide for a family, look after a child
and keep a household running smoothly.
As American comedian and actor Matt Walsh once said,
"Parenting is the easiest thing in the world
to have an opinion on,
but the hardest thing to do."
So while it's certainly not anyone's place
to tell you what you should and shouldn't do
when parenting your child,
we hope you're doing it for the right reasons.
All too often, people make the mistake
of having children because they feel empty
and want to be needed
or are terrified of growing old alone
and want someone around
to take care of them when the time comes.
Maybe all their friends are married with kids now
and they feel pressure to do the same or they think
that having a child will save their failing marriage,
but children are not safety blankets or retirement plans.
They are not made to mend broken relationships
or make you feel whole
or save you from your own personal hell.
Your children deserve to be loved for who they are
and who they'll grow up to be,
not for the role you want them to play in your life.
You are the one who chose
to bring them into this world and into your life
and for that you owe them everything you can give
with no expectations of anything in return.
You can raise them to share your beliefs
and your values, but beyond that,
they deserve to be their own person
with their own feelings and experiences and opinions.
So let them have their own dreams,
make their own mistakes and walk their own path in life.
It's all you can do as a parent to let them go someday
and trust that your children
will find their own way back to you.
So don't take whatever precious time you still have left
with them for granted.
Be there for them in every way you can,
to love and support and guide them as best
and as wholeheartedly as you are able.
It's not gonna be easy,
but you need to give it your best try each and every day.
Strive to be someone they can look up to
and turn to for comfort and advice.
Be there to celebrate every victory
and soften the blow of every failure.
Show up to every game and recital and award ceremony.
Help them with their homework
and eat dinner together every night.
Patch up every scraped knee or broken heart
and in the hustle and bustle of all that is parenting,
don't forget to take care of yourself
and have a life outside of your children too.
You owe it to them not to fall apart
or feel adrift the moment they're gone.
So have your own hobbies and interests.
Spend time with your own friends and family
and achieve your own personal goals and ambitions.
Don't tie your entire sense of purpose
and identity around being a parent.
You can't put that burden on your children's shoulders,
no matter how easy it might be to neglect yourself
once you have someone else to take care of.
It is hard to be a parent
and have your own life outside of your kids.
You might feel guilty or selfish for even trying,
but always remember that you're not alone
and that it's okay to take a break and ask other people
for help from time to time.
Do you feel burnt out and always in a bad mood?
Do you have an important work deadline
that needs your attention?
That's okay.
You're not going to be the bad guy
just because you wanna take a few days off for yourself
and as long as your kids can see that you're trying,
they'll love you all the same.
So be kind to yourself.
To quote acclaimed novelist
and political activist Ann Lamott,
"There are places in the heart
that you don't even know exist until you have a child."
So if you're a parent or a future parent,
did you appreciate the message in this video?
Being a parent will always have many ups and downs.
The journey you're on isn't going to be an easy one,
but it's gonna be worth it.
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