Planet Express is on the move, for this hip, young delivery company tomorrow is today and
today is yesterday.
After over 100 deliveries made, the company flames onwards, with limitless potential and
boundless horizons.
The unstoppable juggernaut of the corporate universe.
In another, truer sense, Planet Express exists mainly to fund the research of Professor Hubert
J Farnsworth, provide storage for his multitude of doomsday devices, and serve as a cheap
labor pool.
Despite the near monopoly on package delivery held by Mom’s Friendly Delivery Company
and the occasional upstart like Awesome Express, Planet Express has managed to not only survive,
but pay a substandard wage to almost all of its employees.
The company stays in business in part thanks to their complete disregard for safety and
minimum wage laws, as well as Professor Farnsworth’s lack of morals and decency.
In its earliest days, Planet Express was made up of Captain Lando Tucker, a dedicated young
man with no characteristics, Candy, a raunchy by-the-books navigator, the devastatingly
handsome forklift, Lifter, and also Zoidberg.
The crew was sadly swallowed whole by a four-dimensional space whale on their first delivery, with
only Zoidberg surviving.
Despite this setback, Planet Express continued onwards and this initial incident became the
first in a proud tradition of regularly losing delivery crews in the line of duty.
Those that survived to become fixtures at Planet Express included Hermes Conrad, a grade
36 bureaucrat who served as the company’s accountant, and Amy Wong - an intern.
The company entered a new era in the year 3000 when it hired Turanga Leela to serve
as captain, Bender Bending Rodriguez to be assistant manager of sales, and Professor
Farnsworth’s distant uncle and grandfather, Philip J. Fry as an executive delivery boy,
first class.
Despite a litany of disasters and near collapses, the company sputtered along.
In 3002, Steve Castle, a stockbroker from the 1980s, also known as “That Guy”, replaced
Professor Farnsworth as CEO.
Under That Guy’s leadership, the Planet Express crew was transformed into a neckless
herd of sharks and embarked on a bold campaign of decisive expansion reminiscent of Imperial
Germany.
Despite its daring rebranding and aggressive marketing campaign, Planet Express was nearly
sold to and gutted by Mom’s Friendly Delivery Company.
Only the death of That Guy due to severe boneitis and the intervention of Fry saved the company
and prevented its staff from retiring as millionaires.
In 3005 the company was briefly shut down by the Box Network and just two years later,
Planet Express celebrated its 100th delivery, averaging almost ten per year.
Planet Express’s delivery ship and sole member of their space warfare branch is the
USS Planet Express Ship, also known as Bessie.
The Planet Express ship is a craft of Professor Farnsworth’s own design, featuring a comprehensive
array of redundant systems and powerful weaponry.
At sea, it is capable of withstanding between 0 and 1 atmospheres of pressure.
The ship is powerful enough to withstand the Robot Mafia, Space Pirates, Omicronians, and,
at times, even utilized in the defense of Earth or forced into service with the Democratic
Order of Planets.
The ship, and the company itself are based in New New York, where Planet Express maintains
a spacious headquarters.
Like a green snake in a sugar cane field, the future of Planet Express is mysterious
and confusing.
But one thing is certain, if they can hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes will
fall like a house of cards… checkmate.
The Templin Institute investigates alternate worlds and realities.
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