life teaches us
everything we need to know, how we respond to this
that's our choice. Listen.
hear that?
hear what?
the voices, instructions, people telling us how we should show up
There are expectations in that and the struggle that some of us feel
in relation to that can be quite profound
There's a child in all of us
it questions us
in situations that are uncomfortable. Apparently I have been working with his
child
for a long long time. She's a great one she is so
honest, she has a simple view of life and she questions
things from this space that for me
is the best view in all. There's a heart connection
between her and me that has served me brilliantly
held me to account and powered me to have a go
found that strength that when all I thought was so overwhelming
just gave me comfort I know she's with me here right now
she's traveled a long journey
and she's smiling 'couse she knows
today we're off on a new adventure
there's a time when life was very different for me
to be here I am today
has been anything but predictable the times when I've looked in the eyes of
the adults
that I looked up to for answers
and comfort and guidance and security
to some point I felt
they let me down. Let me take you back
to when that little girl with seven
living in a place on the other side of the planet
called Holland. This little girl grew up believing that she was pivotal
She was the cause
of the merging of two blended families with different personalities and
beliefs
she was
the first-born child you know the one with all the responsibilities
and then she became
the older sister, so what did that look like?
and what did that entail? questions, questions, questions, and you know
I could have had a million answers because everyone had their versionon how I should
respond to that
but there was something a little bit different about how I felt I interpret
the world
when I was 9
I realized what that was. Heading up to my ninth birthday
after adapting two lots and lots of change I was invited with my parents to
go to evening classes for English conversation. Well why would I not think
that was pretty cool
because my brothers didn't get to go. I sat in those classes and I thought
these are
really important times people are taking this opportunity
really seriously. And I kinda got the whole concept of
different languages 'cause I had grown up learning those. Some of the kids in my
neighborhood have come from suriname
my family was from Indonesia I had heard Greece
French, Italian, German, that was the norm for me
but this English thing was pretty cool little did I know
that there was a lot about that I needed to learn so I went off to these English
classes and i thought OK
but something didn't quite feel right
and I wanted to find out what that was
so I rocked up there and I thought
there's something here that I need to get and I don't know quite where to look
then one day i did
I heard the truth around that. I'd already moved four homes in my life at that point
and even though I thought
at that young age that that was tough for having new friends making new
going to a different school and umm
getting to know new neighbours and trust them. My parents had booked passage to
a place far away and we weren't coming back
the energy around that was intense there were times when they would
fight and argue and there'd be this tug of conversation and it would be the them versus
the us and the whole thing would just esculate
and it was all I could do was just to find a space in the corner
of my room
and reconcile what that would mean for me that didn't come with instructions
by the way
I just have to feel it interpret it
and make sense of it, and as you can imagine
there's some part of us all and we've alluded to that through some of our other speaker's
that little voice inside us here
that says, Sally, it's gonna be okay and though your not hearing it from the outside
world and nothing around you that's happening is affirming that that's
actually gonna be real
there's still that little voice inside its is Sally
it's gonna be OK. The lasting memory
that I had in Holland
was standing as Skip Hole in the queue with my little suitcase and my teddy bear
walking up to check in
and a man came up to me and said
that's gotta stay here
and I thought, what was that about
he said well it's made of straw and it's deemed flammable so you can take it on
a plane.
The lady in the shop
who had given it to me sometime before
did not tell me that that teddy bear would only be mine until I had line up
hand over my stuff to someone that didn't know what that would mean to me
board a plane to a country that I didn't even know was real.
I thought it was mine for life.
I begged and pleaded and cried and
looked at those adults to just make them give that teddy bear back to me
to no avail.
I found my little corner of my world
inside here and had to have a real good hard conversation
there were a little
friends of mine that I used a talk to in the corner of my room growing up
when times got tough
and my mission then was to hang on to them so tight
and take them with me on this journey, they were the biggest kept secret I had
ever
held and no one was going to know because no one' was gonna take them away
from me
they were coming with me no matter what and those little friends
from the corner of my room have stood by me for a long long time in so many
situations that I think
you know what, no matter where I am, I am never alone
Landing in Australia
starting year four, learning English
was really difficult
being labeled learning disabled
in 1971 because what else could they do with me when
I didn't speak English. It was quite confronting
speaking fluent Dutch just wasn't good enough
making new friends
seeing these obviously willing
caring adults in a classroom in a school environment
wanting to help out but not quite knowing how that would unfold
that was tough too
I felt for them, but something in me held back my story because I didn't want them
to know
necessarily what else they could take from me because that had been my
experience up until then
I did make new friends
I learnt English but also learnt other things
there is a sense a difference that people
categorize you by. My brothers and I
we turned up to our school in Gympie with dark skin
well there were other kids with different dark skin. When I was growing up
in my neighborhood with Greek children and French children and
that was all kind of normal to me and none of that was ever
punishable. There was a time when I looked at my mom
and I thought what on earth are we doing here? I so need to know from you why we are where
we are
I was brought back to that look I saw in her eyes back at Skip Hole
all those years ago. She was walking
like a zombie with that glazed look in her eye
trying to block out the cries of her family that she was leaving behind
and it was all I could do it to look her in the eye
because I knew
deep inside she was silently hysterical
I couldn't take comfort from that that was not a bonding moment
there are so many moments like that I've experienced up until that point
what does that all mean
How my mum responded to her experience
was her choice how my father handled the whole situation
was his choice
how a man who is now happily hugging my teddy bear
conducted himself was his choice
but how I step up every minute of every day
knowing that somewhere there is something inside me that someone like
and love and hug and trust and share with
openly and honestly, that's my choice
being paid a small community has so many blessings
you have real conversations with people
the sitting together last night sharing that meal with everyone who was
going to be presenting today and the organizers was a reminder of that
that sense of community that 'no expectations' that unconditional giving
the knowing it just has to be done and has to be what it is
and all I needed to do is show up was amazing
life can be like that anywhere we go
but we've got to ask the question, is that what we are open to receiving
is that what we are open to experiencing yep
I grew up and I went to high school and I spoke competent English
and life was good. Looking back on that time
I'm reminded that, you know what,
life is a journey and how we show up
every day is our choice, there are circumstances that
come across our path that
we may not know how to handle. I'll always trust that there will be someone that
will show up
in the right moment and hold your hand and just give you that
nudge to say OK you know you're ready
you know you have that vision, you now you can have that conversation you know you
can share that message you know you are exactly where you need to be in
any given moment because life only does that, life teaches us
everything we need to know. It's amazing now being in the position to watch my
children grow up
They've learnt from me
I was their role model too. We are
all role models, right here, right now, someone is looking to trust us
someone is looking for us to step up and take responsibility so we know where
to go
We now have three grandsons, and yes they live over the states but we have
technology and we skype regularly and we do have plans now that
are happy journeys and that's a great thing
to know it's available to us and what we can draw from is powerful and don't underestimate
that you have access to that no matter where you are
and what your background is. We've heard about people coming to the end of their
life and I'm very aware
that there's a legacy that's at play here, that again my next chapter of isn't known to me
yet
but that's okay because when we truly present
where open to hearing the sounds, feeling the feelings
seeing the emotions, seeing the opportunities, noticing that car that
will get us exactly to where we need to go next
having that conversation that just makes
sense. So the space
that I talk to people about
isn't necessarily the physical space, you know the space that rent or you sell
or you mortgage
it's more often that mind spice
and if space
is that mind, its infinite, we are part of the universe we have a
place in that, we have a purpose in that, we have my contract that we've
signed to make an impact with that, when we stand up and take responsibility
motivated by that we can rock the world
That little girl is just doing a little bit of a jig
Because she's been wanting to hear me say this for a very long time
and you know what? that's exciting, and I now in each of you have a little
boy or girl or a some little signal that you
have conversations with that is expecting you to do the same
circumstances happen
and you know what life, life only shows up what we're needing to learn
and the other thing, we already have
what it takes to solve the problem so when you're faced with
tragedy when you're faced with things that you feel are sooo overwhelming when
you're looking at someone and thinking what more can I say
what can I do? Being there
with an open heart and a generous mind
in the present is the best thing you can give
wherever we find ourselves
we have a view, we have a choice of what that view entails
blue skies, storm fronts
rivers full and flowing
gently there's a natural order of
things and we are all part of that
how we show up is exactly carrying the tools that we've already got
creating the space that supports us to be exactly
who we are to share the message we need to share we already have that
some of us carry extra baggage for a bit longer than we probably need to but
that's part of the story too
just know you can let that go whenever you choose
life teaches us everything we need to know
what is your responsibility is how you respond to it