>> James: THAT WAS IT. WELL, LET'S DIG INTO IT.
IT'S TIME FOR, THE NEWS. LAST NIGHT, PRESIDENT BIDEN GAVE
THE SHORTEST STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS SINCE 2016 - CLOCKING IN
AT ONE HOUR AND TWO MINUTES. THE SHOSHTDEST -- -- THE
SHORTEST -- I LIKE THIS TREND.
LET'S GET IT DOWN TO ONE TIKTOK AND SAVE US ALL A BUNCH OF TIME.
IF YOU ASK ME, EVERYTHING SHOULD BE SHORTER.
IF A MOVIE CAME IN AT SIXTY-TWO MINUTES?pI'M LIKE:
BEST PICTURE. DONE.
WHEN DID YOU EVERYBODY SAY TO A FRIEND, I WISH IT WAS A LITTLE
BIT LONGER. ACCORDING TO A CNN INSTANT POLL,
41% OF VIEWERS HAD A VERY POSITIVE REACTION TO BIDEN'S
SPEECH, WHICH IS THE LOWEST IN ROUGHLY 15 YEARS.
41% SAID THEY WERE VERY POSITIVE.
THE OTHER 59% SAID, "WHEW, THANK GOD HE GOT THROUGH IT."
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) >> James: AT ONE POINT IN HIS
SPEECH, BIDEN TALKED ABOUT THE RESOLVE OF THE UKRAINIAN PEOPLE
BUT HE APPEARED TO SAY SOMETHING ELSE.
TAKE A LOOK >> THE CLASSIC ROFERL OF THE
UKRAINIAN PEOPLE. >> James: DON'T EVEN CORRECT
YOURSELF. PLOW THERE IT, DONE.
>> James: CLASSIC BIDEN. SAY IT WRONG, SAY IT STRONG.
AND THEN BIDEN WAS LIKE, LISTEN, I'M A BIG PICTURE GUY.
I DON'T WANT TO GET CAUGHT IN THE MINOR
DETAILS OF THIS WAR, LIKE 'WHICH COUNTRIES ARE FIGHTING.'
AT ANOTHER POINT IN THE SPEECH, SENATE MAJORITY LEADER CHUCK
SCHUMER GOT CONFUSED ABOUT WHETHER HE WAS SUPPOSED TO STAND
OR NOT. HAVE A LOOK.
>> THE AMERICAN RESCUE PLAN -- THE AMERICAN RESCUE PLAN HELPED
WORKING PEOPLE AND LEFT NO ONE BEHIND.
>> James: SEE, THAT'S WHY YOU HAVE TO SHOW UP FOR REHEARSAL.
AND IN A WAY HE DIDN'T JUST RIDE IT OUT, THIS IS THE PROBLEM HE
STOPPED HERE, YOU GOT TO BE UP NOW, THAT'S WHAT BIDEN DID.
I KNOW I SAW ANNA.
UHE SHOULD GETAPPLAUSE FOR A JY WROTE.
(APPLAUSE) AND THERE WAS THIS WEIRD MOMENT
LAST NIGHT. BIDEN WAS DISCUSSING WAR ZONES
AND SOMETHING CALLED BURN PITS, AND HOUSE SPEAKER NANCY PELOSI
HAD A... RATHER ODD REACTION. HAVE A LOOK.
>> AND OUR TROOPS IN IRAQ AND AFGHANISTAN FACED MANY DANGERS,
ONE OF THEM BEING STATIONS AND BASES BREATHING IN TOXIC SMOKE
FROM BURN PITS. MANY OF YOU HAVE BEEN THERE.
>> WHAT WILLIAM WHAT? WHAT THE HELL?
>> James: I HAVE WATCHED THAT CLIP 17 TIMES.
THE ONLY THING, CONCLUSION CAN I COME TO IS LIKE, PEOPLE LIKE
WHAT THEY LIKE AND PELOSI LIKE BURN PITS.
LIKE -- >> IS SHE HAPPY THEY BROUGHT IT
UP? >> James: I JUST DON'T KNOPF
KNOW, CAN'T FIGURE IT OUT, LOOK AT IT AGAIN.
>> FROM BURN PITS, MANY OF YOU HAVE BEEN THERE.
>> YES YES, GET IT. SHE'S TRYING TO START A FIRE.
>> YES. >> James: DON'T GET I.T.!
>> SHE COULD HAVE THOUGHT LIKE HE SAID BRAD PITT?
I DON'T KNOW. >> IT'S LIKE IT'S COLD IN HERE,
YOU GIVE HER YOUR JACKET? >> James: I DO FEEL THAT
WHOEVER IS THE SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE AND SITTING THERE THE
ENTIRE TIME, THAT IS NOT COMFORTABLE.
BUT HOWEVER UNCOMFORTABLE I AM I CANNOT IMAGINE SMIEFERL HEARING
THE PHRASE, BURN PITS, WHICH ARE ESSENTIALLY WHERE THEY BURNT OFF
TOXIC FUMES THAT HAVE BURNED THE LUNGS OF MANY MEMBERS OF THE
MILITARY AND GOING LIKE, YEAH! AND FAR RIGHT REPUBLICAN
LAWMAKERS, MARJORIE TAYLOR-GREEN MADE FACES AND HECKLED BIDEN
THROUGHOUT THE SPEECH. HERE THEY ARE THERE.
THEY LOOK LIKE THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF MAR-A-LAGO.
THEY LOOK LIKE THEY'RE SCREAMING AT THE MANAGER OF CHILI'S
BECAUSE THEY WERE JUST INFORMED THAT HAPPY HOUR ENDED THREE
MINUTES AGO. THEY LOOK LIKE NICK BERNSTEIN
WHEN I MENTION A PRODUCT NAME ON THE SHOW.
THEY LOOK LIKE THEY'RE ACCUSING THE NEIGHBOR OF STEALING
PACKAGES, AND THEY'VE GOT THE RING DOORBELL CAMERA FOOTAE TO
PROVE IT. TAKE A LOOK.
>> I SEE THE FUTURE THAT'S WITHIN OUR GRASP.
>> James: RESTING MITCH-FACE. I MEAN -- THANK GOD THEY DIDN'T
HAVE TO WEAR MASKS AND COVER UP THEIR THOUSAND-WATT SMILE!
IT DOES MAKE MORE SENSE WHEN YOU REALIZE MITCH McCONNELL DID
PUT HIS BODY ON STAND BY MODE TO CONSERVE ENERGY.
AT ONE POINT, BIND SPOKE ABOUT THIS:
>> I'VE ORDERED MORE PILLS THAN ANYONE.
>> James: THAN ANYONE? HERE'S THE REBUTTAL, THE BAND.
AND HIS SPEECH WITH DRAMATICKIC FLAIR BUT IT WAS UNCLEAR WHO HE
WAS REFERRING TO IN HIS FINAL LINE.
THERE WAS NO MENTION OF ANY SPECIFIC PERSON IN HIS CLOSING
LOOK. >> THERE IS ONE UNITED STATES OF
AMERICA. GOD BLISS ALL AND MAY GOD
PROTECT OUR TROOPS. THANK YOU.
GO GET HIM. >> WHAT?
pWHAT? MAN, I MISSED A LOT!
>> James: GO GET WHO? MIKE PENCE WAS WATCHING AT HOME
AND SAYING, NOT AGAIN, WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?
AND THAT'S THE NEWS. NOW GO GET HIM!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK EVERYBODY!