Footballers Play Among Us in...
The Frontmen! Season 2!
Hosted by me, at my mansion, Sii!
I mean… Shhhhh...
There is 1 IMPOSTOR among us - well, 2 if you count Lionel… haha
Good luck completing the tasks I set you - GAME ON!
MESSI QUIT?! Well there’s a surprise!
EMERGENCY MEETING!
DISCUSS!
- Oh come on… - We haven’t even started yet
- And no-one’s even dead! - Why did you call an emergency meeting?
- To complete my first task… - Which is?
- Kicking Alvaro out of the game. - What?
- I can’t risk YOU outperforming ME again! It’s embarrassing! - But you need three votes to kick me!
- That’s why I’m voting on behalf of myself, Neymar and Harold. - What?
- Fine by me - Me too
But…
Let’s skip the vote, game on!
Clean his bathtub? He’s taking the piss...
Clean his cars? He’s taking the piss!
Clean your balls? YOU’RE TAKING THE PISS!
Bloody hell, this is more tiring than carrying Manchester United...
Fix the wiring in the basement? He’s taking the piss!
Jesus Christ, even Wayne Rooney could work this out…
SH*T THE BED!
- ARGH!!! REPORT A DEAD BODY!!!! - Oh s**t, this looks kinda sus...
DEAD BODY REPORTED
DISCUSS
- So I got the lights working… - Excellent work…
- And there he was… chewing on Salah’s bone - Pffft Not for the first time...
- Grow up! - Is that what you said to Salah’s bone?
- I know how it looks, but seriously, I just found him there! - Bullsh**!
- BOLLOCKS! - I DID!
- Just like Chiellini ran into your teeth? - Precisely!
- Oh, his excuses are worse than Jose’s... - Then why didn’t you report it?
- I was hungry! - To be fair, that's plausible
- So I thought I’d have a nibble THEN report it! - Discussion over, let’s vote!
Oh, you sons of b**ches…
I HOPE YOU ALL GET MALARIA!
Back to work b**ches! I mean, back to the tasks, teammates…
Thank god I don’t have to clean that statue again...
Bloody hell, how many cars does he have?
Zlatan task is to put his kids to sleep?! He’s taking the piss! But fine...
WHAT?! I MEANT SING THEM A SONG OR SOMETHING!!! NOT KNOCK THEM OUT!
Are you sure? This always worked okay on my kids…
Forget it, I’ll get their nanny to do it…
Leave this to me… SHUT UP!
- LUIS NANI? Has he worked for you for long? - 10 years.
Ever since I accidentally tapped Ronaldo’s world class goal bound chip in on the line against Spain and got it ruled out for offside.
Idiot. He’ll pay his debt to me off eventually...
Where the hell is the kitchen…
Wait a minute! KYLIAN!?
- IT’S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE! - GUYS! GUYS! GUYS!
Oh s**t... this looks kinda sus
EMERGENCY MEETING
DISCUSS!
- So I opened up the vent... - Even though opening the vent it’s clearly not on the jobs list… I mean task list
- And there he was… - But I’m not even playing!
- We all know only impostors can use vents! - I know how it looks…
You’re either the impostor or a batshit crazy fanboy stalker! Which is it?
Both are plausible, did you see how many posters he had of you on his wall as a teenage boy?
My walls were covered in semi-naked girls, that’s all I’m saying
- Seriously, I was just hiding there… - Bulls**t!
- BOLLOCKS! - Stalker!
- Sex pervert! - I was goddamit!
- A sex pervert?! - I was hiding, you idiot.
- Who from? - My agent and PSG!
- Why? - They both want me to sign a new contract! No way!
- That’s plausible. - Extremely plausible.
Go home Kylian… you’re wasting everybody’s time!
AT LEAST PSG WON’T FIND ME OUT HERE!
Sign the contract, Kylian!
Oh sh*t!
Back to work bit****! I mean, back to the tasks, teammates..
At last! I found the kitchEN! DEAD BODY!
- No… I’ve just ruptured my knee… - Hmmm… this is kinda sus…
- Honest! - Why are you in Ronaldo’s kitchen?
- Ermm… - You’re not doing a John Terry are you?
- Er… no! - I am!
- WHAT?! - Laters!
EMERGENCY MEETING
DISCUSS!
- Ronaldo is the impostor… - It’s John Terry’s blood, stupid! I’m not the impostor!
- Bollocks! - It’s kinda sus!
Who even called this meeting?
Me! I’m not reporting a dead body, but I am reporting a sex dungeon…
- What? - Er, yes, what?
I got lost looking for the Gym and ended up opening a secret door to a sex dungeon...
- Cristiano, you dirty bastard - It’s not mine!
- Well whose is it then? - Er, must be the previous owners
Then why did every sex toy have your initials on them?
BACK TO WORK BITCHES! BEFORE I EJECT YOU ALL!
- Erm... Are you following me? - Maybe…
Make the bed? He’s taking the piss…
VARDY’S TRYING TO KILL ME!!! ALERT THE OTHERS! ALERT THE OTHERS!
ARGH! VARDY KILLED ME! V.A.R-dy! V.A.R-dy!
Finished! At last! Next time I’m getting a load of school kids to clean these for me for free. They owe me….
VARDY’S TRYING TO KILL ME!!! Save me Marcus, fellow MBE! Save me!
- WOH! What’s going on? Are you the impostor Jamie? - IMPOSTOR?! No I’m not! I only wanted to show him this
- IT’S A GUN! - No it’s not
- It’s worse than that Harry… - What?
The 2016 Premier League Winners Medal!
Urgh, there’s no way I’m cleaning this again... What the hell? He’s dead!
DEAD BODY REPORTED
DISCUSS!
- And you two MBE bumboys just happened to be there? - Yes
- BOLLOCKS! - That’s kinda sus
- Kinda sus? Harry literally shat himself! - Shut up Marcus…
- BULLSHIT! - HUMAN SHIT!
- Believe me now? - That’s disgusting
- Jesus Christ, what is it with Spurs players shitting their pants… - Let’s vote before I throw up in my costume!
- Me? - And Zlatan? It’s a good job it was a tie!
Vote for me again and I’ll lock you all in my sex dungeon!
I mean, the previous owner’s sex dungeon! Back to work bitches!
- It was a good idea to stick together - Totally, my MBE brother from another mother.
So whoever is the last person left when we go out MUST be the impostor.
- The win is ours! - Let’s hope it’s over with quickly.
The last time I was this scared was when we played Bulgaria away.
Thanks Karim! Now I know what EVERYONE Is doing!
There's no way I lose. The MBE bumboys hiding in a vent! One of them MUST be the Impostor… time to call an em…
Wait a minute, what’s that?
- I have no idea… - It’s going for the bumboys…
And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgi---
- What was that? - I’ve no idea…
QUICK! OPEN THE AIRLOCK!
I think it might be Bulgarian...
that leaves the mold of manchild and BigNose… hmmmm
Fix the gym equipment? He’s taking the piss...
They were telling the truth! Ha, nice shot dickh-!
S**T! I’VE LOST! The impostor was Zlatan! I'll disqualify him for wearing a white suit!
Wasn’t Zlatan… It’s that guy in a white suit... Time to hide…
ONLY IMPOSTORS CAN USE THE VENTS IDIOT! KARIM!
You’ve lost now you idiot! There’s only you left!
This is bullshit! I never said YOU could play! WHO EVER YOU ARE!
ROBERT LEWANDOWSKI!
- YES, it is I Robert Lewandowski! - But why?
Because this game allowed me to wipe out my biggest rivals for the 2021 Ballon d’Or!
Well, apart from me, your biggest riv...
Next stop Lazio...