Welcome back to the show.
As you may recall, Democrats were dealt a mild setback
in the November elections.
Since then, there's been one word on their lips.
No, the other word.
We talk about the resistance.
The resistance.
We will resist him.
We resist.
The committed resistance.
The resistance.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[SINGING IN FRENCH]
Ah, vive la #resistance.
[SPEAKING FRENCH] Let's check in and see how they're doing.
They're marching.
That's good.
Ooh, protesting at airports.
Yes!
More marching, gosh, I'm surprised
lululemon hasn't come out with a line of $200 protest leggings.
Oh.
[CASH REGISTER BELL]
Yeah, they just did.
The #resistance are even learning
their congressman's names.
REPORTER 1: Anger erupting at political town halls
across the country.
REPORTER 2: These explosive town halls
have put Republican lawmakers on the defensive.
REPORTER 3: It's similar to the reception
other Republicans have gotten at home,
including Jason Chaffetz of Utah.
(CHANTING) Do your job!
Do your job!
Poor Jason Chaffetz was so spooked,
he had to run back and hide in the pouch,
where he lives with his possum family.
Of course, some people are saying Barack Obama is secretly
orchestrating these town hall protests,
when he's not busy spying on Donald Trump
through the science oven.
The town hall protests are getting
President Trump's attention.
Late today, he tweeted, quote, "The so-called angry crowds
in home districts of some Republicans
are actually, in numerous cases, planned out
by liberal activists.
Sad.
Exclamation point."
I can't believe I went to journalism school for this,
semi-colon, I quit, period.
Actually, liberals are taking their cue from the Tea Party,
you know, the people we called a bunch of dumb losers
back in 2009, right before those losers won 25 state houses
and gerrymandered Democrats out of power for a decade,
in spite of all our sick burns.
But the two movements aren't quite the same.
While smug Democrats can brag they're better at spelling,
they fall short in one area that is slightly more important.
REPORTER 4: It's Election Day in LA County.
People in Los Angeles reelected Mayor Eric Garcetti,
and the turnout for this mayoral election appears
to have hit an all-time low.
As of 7 o'clock tonight, turnout has
been posted at just under 12%.
12%!
That's less than the percent of Los
Angeles that turned out to audition
for the "Mr. Belvedere" reboot.
What the shit, Angelinos?
Were you too busy Periscoping your avocado toast
from the set of your web series to ensure
that this guy, an actual candidate for mayor,
didn't wind up in charge of your city?
Where were you?
I don't know.
It may be some people were satisfied and stayed home.
It may be that others forgot this was the election date.
Well, maybe they didn't get the memo
because it wasn't pinned on a beautiful celebrity's
pelvic bone.
How many turned out for the LA Women's
March a few weeks earlier?
Estimates of 500,000, as high as 750,000.
We may never know for sure how many came out.
The big question, though, what impact it
will have outside California.
Well, none, if you don't vote, you ding-dongs.
It's not enough just to yell your opinions.
That's my job.
You need to vote.
Remember a month after Trump's victory, when Democrats had
a chance to reduce the Republican Senate
majority by getting out to vote in the Louisiana runoff?
How did that go?
Well, in the US Senate race, Republican State Treasurer John
Kennedy beat Democratic Public Service
Commissioner Foster Campbell.
Voter turnout across the state was at an average of just 29%.
OK, the other 71% of you better
have been at a jazz funeral.
Now I am not saying Democrats haven't had any wins.
RACHEL MADDOW: Democrat Stephanie Hansen won by a lot,
and that is very consequential.
It keeps the Delaware Senate in Democratic hands.
Whoopee!
Dems won the state Senate in a minuscule blue state where Joe
Biden is worshiped as a god.
Please, stop, it's too much winning.
I can't take it.
But it's better than some of the other victories
they're psyched about.
Democrats lost an election this week in Minnesota,
and they're super excited about it.
This week, they voted for their Republican candidate
for state rep there.
She didn't win by 30 points like Donald Trump did.
She only won by 6, and if you're a Democrat, that's called hope.
[CHUCKLES] That's called progress.
That is called losing.
I would like to take back all the times I defended
liberal snowflakes against the charge
that they crave participation trophies, because apparently,
they love them.
For all their passion and earnestness
and mad crafting skills, Democrats
suck at voting, especially when it counts the most.
But the first step is admitting you have a problem.
How's that going?
So I think that, frankly, the Democratic Party is in a very
sound position right now.
These are great days.
We've got Democrats who are going
to crawl on their knees over broken glass
to come vote every chance they get.
Well, that is good to hear, because that is actually
Jeff Sessions' new voting regulation
for majority black districts.
And the good news is you don't have to wait till 2018.
There are special congressional elections happening right now.
If you live in Wichita, get out and vote
for Democrat James Thompson.
If you're in South Carolina's 5th District,
you can vote for Archie Parnell.
My name is Archie Parnell, and I know a lot about budgets.
It's one of the reasons I fell in love with him.
I'm kidding.
I fell in love with him because he has a 12-inch
cock and knows how to use it.
Hey, Montana, If six or seven of you get out to vote,
you could elect Democrat Rob Quist as your only congressman.
REPORTER 5: "He supports a national gun registry,
socialized health care, and the implementation of sanctuary
cities in Montana."
I didn't know they had implemented cities in Montana.
Oh!
Oh, my god, is Montana in danger of becoming too urban?
(SINGING) He's a 45-caliber man.
He'll protect our public lands.
He's a 45-caliber man--
Nope.
And then there's the Georgia 6th,
a well-off suburban district that's been trending more
Democratic lately, but only in the way that your grandma is
trending less homophobic, because she
thinks Cam and Mitchell are funny on "Modern Family."
They've got a ways to go.
But Democrats think John Ossoff may have a shot.
And apparently, so do Republicans, because they spent
at least $12 on this attack ad.
ANNOUNCER: Ossof wasn't exactly fighting against terrorism.
He was fighting against restrictions on keg parties,
dressing up with his drinking buddies,
and pretending to be Han Solo.
Sorry, Johnny, but the truth strikes back.
Ossoff likes beer and "Star Wars"?
Man, fuck that guy!
So pull on your lululemon voting pants, #resistance.
There's only about a 30% chance this omnishambles
of a president will impeach himself by mistake.
Otherwise, it will take a Democratic Congress.
And I'm afraid you can't crochet one of those.
Actually, that is adorable.
Can I buy one on Etsy?
[CASH REGISTER BELL]
Yes, I can.
We'll be right back.
[MUSIC PLAYING]