Transcriber: Ola Królikowska Reviewer: Keira White
I am sure you all know the following saying:
“A picture is worth a thousand words”. Is it really, though?
I think we are so focused on pictures today
that we forget the importance of words.
We take pictures like crazy while on vacation
because we want to capture every single moment.
We take pictures of our children almost every day because they delight us
with their laughter and amaze us with the next milestone.
We intend to keep those memories forever, right?
But ever since the smartphone has a camera we feel so over them,
by the number of pictures on our devices, that we don’t look at them anymore,
and some months later,
we don’t even remember why we took a certain picture in the first place.
Did you know that since the first iPhone entered the market in 2007,
there are more pictures of a newborn baby in the western world
after just one year,
than of every person who died before 2007.
You know, a cute picture of your child
will always stay a cute picture, that’s for sure,
but I predict that in 30 years,
you won’t remember why a certain moment felt so special,
when you don’t turn it into a meaningful memory.
Meaningful memories are the stories behind the picture.
They are the story you want to pass on to your loved ones.
You know, every week I talk to parents who feel a big burden,
they are trying to figure out how to preserve
the precious memories for their children.
Children don’t remember most of their childhood
once they’re grown up.
They might not even remember the most joyful moment.
All they are left with are fragments.
That is why so many parents feel the need to document something,
They want to create something that lasts like a photo book or a journal.
But they keep telling me that they never find the time to do it.
Then I see them on social media posting stories about their kids,
are you one of them?
I don’t blame you.
Social media is fun.
It's also highly addictive.
But you get away from it once you recognize
that you’re focusing on the wrong audience.
Sharing memories on social media
will not make you happy in the long term.
Today we post pictures of the pizza we had for lunch
and hope to get likes from our classmates we would never look at again.
We share funny sayings of our children on Twitter,
but don’t archive them for our own kids.
So we are busy publishing a lot of content for a largely unknown public,
but don’t create anything for the people who truly matter for us:
Your friends, your family, your children.
There’s is the most precious audience to care about.
And I promise you, once you start saving memories for them,
the time you invest will gradually become more.
You will become passionate about it because it's something so meaningful
and fulfilling to do.
I can tell you that from my own experience.
When my children were born, my life changed in completely unexpected ways.
I was prepared for my private life to be turned upside down, of course,
but it also changed my professional career,
the way I looked at life and at my past.
Yes, even my past, and I’ll tell you why.
When I became a mother, I suddenly had a lot of questions,
I wanted to ask my own mum: How did she experience motherhood?
and what moments was she happy with me?
Did she dream of becoming a Grandma one day?
Unfortunately, I’ll never know.
She died long before my own children were born,
and she never wrote anything down for me.
That’s why I started to think about the importance of memories.
How can I keep them safe for my children?
How can I make sure that they will always know how much their parents loved them?
No matter what and no matter how much time we still have left together
because we never know, right?
There is one thing I can say that stems from a personal background,
when it comes to memory documentation, writing is key.
I have always enjoyed writing and kept a diary
since I was a little girl.
Therefore, saving my memories in some written form
felt very natural for me.
And it happened that my husband is a web developer
and out of love for his family he developed a diary app, just for us.
Since the first breath of our children,
we write on everything that matters to us as a family and what brings us joy,
and we invite loved ones to read along and share this joy with us.
Let me show you the magic that happens, to your family,
to your children and to you when you save and share your memories.
First of all, your grandparents
and everyone you share your memories with, will feel grateful.
Seeing a child grow up together creates a one wonderful
feeling of connectedness,
regardless of whether your relatives live nearby or not.
Especially in times of a worldwide pandemic,
your loved ones will feel less isolated when you share everyday stories with them.
And second, your children will feel grateful.
Kids like to see themselves in pictures and your stories about their adventures.
So showing them what you did the other day is a nice activity for families.
But the best thing is, that your children will be able to slip into your head
20, 40 or 60 years from now.
They will get to know you, the kind of mom or dad you are today.
They will see how proud you were of them,
and that will create a deep connection between you.
Trust me, I would be so moved if I had a letter
from my mom telling me that she loved me.
And there is a third beneficiary from your memory documentation
and that is you.
Journaling is one of the best exercising tools for learning gratitude.
Many studies prove that daily exercises
on gratitude increase your personal well-being.
A diary is an especially useful tool for parents.
Raising kids means that you often doubt yourself
due to the big responsibility you have.
It means that you find yourself with less time
for yourself than you ever had before.
This can be stressful,
but when you can open your diary and read
about the joyful moments you experienced the other day,
you will be grateful every day a little more.
Speaking of gratitude, the other day I looked at an old photo book
from my grandparents, together with my dad,
and he told me a story that changed forever the way I saw my grandfather.
My grandfather was born in 1918, so he was marred by the Second World War.
As a kid, I would not notice his sunken cheeks and his bleary eyes,
I was happy every time he and grandma would visit us because I liked them a lot,
but when I wanted to cuddle, I would climb onto my grandma’s lap, not his,
and when I fell, she was the one who would comfort me and not him.
For me my grandmother was the soft and warm hearted person,
and my grandfather always remained an authority
with a harsh tone and many rules.
So my dad and I looked at these old pictures,
and one showed me waving goodbye to my grandparents,
who had spent the weekend with us,
and then my father told me how sad my grandfather had been
whenever he and grandma had to return home,
sometimes he even stopped the car because he was crying.
And my dad also remembered his father
hugging him and playing with him when nobody could see them,
not even my grandmother,
and you know what, my father started creating a journal for me.
Full of stories about my ancestors, starting with my great-great-grandmother.
So in the end, I guess saving memories for loved ones
is a little bit addictive too.
My message to you is:
Memories have the power to tie bonds between generations
so don’t get them lost.
I know what it feels like to not have memories,
and that’s why I made it my mission to find solutions
for saving childhood memories.
My pain became my passion,
and I transformed my passion and expertise into my profession.
So if you want some advice from someone who took a deep dive
into the field of memories, here is mine:
Next time you grab your smartphone,
don’t share your thoughts on social media,
save them in a place where your children will be able to read them one day.
Choose whatever tool you prefer,
you can take a classic diary, made of paper, for example
or you can take your smartphone, of course
or you can write letters and collect them in a beautiful box.
The important thing is that you actually do it.
And let me say this, there is no way you can write down too many memories.
The opposite of the case, the more you write down,
the more you avoid that a great anecdote gets lost.
You don’t know which one will be the most cherished by your family
so don’t be selective, just start.
How can you do it?
This evening, before you go to bed,
think about one situation that made you feel good today.
Did you get words of encouragement from a friend or a colleague?
Did your child tell you a joke that made both of you laugh?
or did you have a touching conversation with your sick grandmother?
Write down a couple of things about it and save this moment
for you and your loved ones.
Your memories are the greatest gift you can offer your family.
Your memories are your legacy;
a legacy that is more important than fame or money.
Your memories are your legacy of love.
So please start creating your legacy today.
Thank you.
(Applause)