(vibrating)
(clattering)
- It's gonna be doing that in my pants!
(fun music)
My name is Merle.
My struggle, and the reason that I am shamelessly here,
aside from the fact that I am not
planning a career in politics,
is the fact that I actually do have a multitude
of issues waking up in the morning.
- [Man] You ready to get up?
- I have a real alarm clock, like the one on Blue's Clues.
That one, I just throw that right off the fucking bedstand.
I've tried everything.
Cold showers, you still have to get up in order to get
to the shower.
Going to bed early.
It's never gonna happen.
Average snooze button hit?
Probably like five to six times.
I cannot get up in the morning.
(bell chiming)
Wake Sexy!
Already like where this is going.
Oh my goodness!
I don't know what these things are,
these fallopian tube or like, lips, whatever this is?
This looks kinda like a little mini speculum.
It goes just directly under your vagina,
but I thought it was gonna go inside my vagina, so I mean,
kinda weird to say I'm a little disappointed.
Slip Little Rooster into the front of your panties
and adjust it until it feels comfortable.
Alarm, Little Rooster's vibrations start five minutes
before alarm time.
Smart, they know me.
And then the power slowly increases.
You can choose the maximum power in setup.
I know already I'm gonna need the maximum power in setup.
This is gonna be a great experience, I can already tell.
My biggest fear is that I can even escape
a vaginal alarm clock, and everyone's gonna know.
- Merle, what is this, like,
Barbie mirror that you have right now?
- [Merle] That's my vibrator.
(gasps)
I have to put it in my underwear and outside
of my vageen before I go to sleep.
- This place is so fucking weird.
- [Merle] What would name it, I said Wendy.
- Agnes.
(laughs)
- Tonight is the first night.
I have to try to figure out how to set this alarm.
It looks like it connects to Wi-Fi?
Can you figure this out?
- Um.
I love you.
- Great.
What time is it right now in military time?
- [Nick] 20.
2:43.
- So hot, they know that.
Day one.
Huge fail.
I was supposed to be up 45 minutes ago.
I set it to the lowest setting, it felt like there was
a flea-sized version of a Blue Man's group concert
in my underwear.
I'm gonna have to commit a little bit more
to having it remain where it belongs, which I think
means wearing more sturdy underoos.
Guys, once-a-fucking-gain, it didn't even go off.
I don't know what's going on here, but I can't really
let anyone touch it. (giggles)
I'm supposed to be in at nine,
fucking, I blame it on the military time, honestly.
I don't know fucking military time.
I know, look it up, I'll figure it out, it's basic math,
whatever.
It's 9:36 and I was supposed to be at work at 9:30.
This has got to stop happening.
While the alarm clock is very misleading, the vibrator works
and now I just feel like a very dirty lady.
You know, I'm starting to wonder if this is
going to turn into how to lose your job in seven days.
So, moving forward, we're gonna get the updated version
of the Rooster.
Who knows what that means.
Oh boy.
Ooh and what, oh. (giggles)
There are somehow fewer buttons?
I already didn't know what the fuck I was doing.
It looks more, like, chic and like it's gonna fit.
Here's hopin, kiddos.
So, after a week and some change of using this product,
I will be happy to say that it did absolutely help me
get up in the morning.
(bell chime)
Alright, this is the first time
that this has actually worked.
It starts like really, really slow,
and then it like, builds to a crescendo.
But it's nice that they ease you into it.
It wasn't just like I was sound asleep and all the sudden
it's like buzz, electrocute your clitoris.
It was like a slow build.
Okay, it's been like five minutes and I haven't
gone back to sleep yet, so that's huge.
So anyway, I'm gonna get up, yay!
It definitely made the beginning of my day
a little, like saucier.
Walking to the subway as always, and I can't help
but think that everybody I walk by knows
what I did this morning.
I feel refreshed, I feel awake, I feel a little dirty.
The first one was like, the Wall-E.
It's very square, it didn't comfortably fit,
I felt like I was defiling a Disney character that I love.
The second version is sleeker, it was more likely
to stay in place.
I'm not gonna lie, the mornings have been
much more interesting.
I don't know, it makes you feel some kind of way
when you're woken up by a vibrator.
Personally, I'm a fan.
I don't know if I would have believed it
from someone else, but I'm definitely gonna
keep using it.
And now I have two, so I don't know what I'll do with those,
but we'll find a use for them.
One way or another.
I don't know, I'd be curious to see
what else Little Rooster comes up with in the future.
Where else they can put vibrators?
We'll have to wait and see.
I'll probably end up in that video too, lord knows.
(soft music)