On this episode of China Uncensored,
there’s gold in them thar...
Olympic Games...
Hi, welcome to China Uncensored I’m your host Chris Chappell.
It’s that time again
when countries around the world set aside their differences
and come together...
to decide which country is the greatest through gladiatorial combat.
Otherwise known as the Olympics.
Sadly they’ve done away with the nudity and death matches
that made the ancient world so great.
But China wants you to know that it is the greatest country on Earth.
China always gets pretty excited for the Olympic Games.
China brought home only 5 gold medals at the 1988 Olympics.
But like that scrawny kid in high school,
they've been drinking milk.
And at the 30 year reunion,
they came back a beefcake,
winning 51 gold medals in 2008.
So understandably, Chinese people want some respect.
Should the rest of the world hold China's banner high?
Well they did.
And it looked like this.
Yeah, that's the Chinese flag.
But not quite.
Chinese media was furious about such an obvious blunder
at medal ceremonies during the early days of the Rio Olympics.
Subtle error?!
I don’t think so.
This is the actual Chinese flag.
And this is the flag hoisted at the Olympics.
See?
The stars are angled wrong!
I mean, what idiots approved this?!
Oh the Chinese Olympic Committee did.
Well, obviously they would have assumed Rio could get the right Chinese flag.
I mean, where did they get that that knock off anyway?!
Kind of ironic that the knockoff Chinese flag was made in China.
But that was only the beginning of the humiliation China had to endure.
Last Saturday, Australian swimmer Mack Horton
apparently called Chinese swim champ Sun Yang a drug cheat.
Sun did test positive for a banned drug back in 2014,
one that he said he was taking for a heart condition.
But that drug is now no longer considered a stimulant,
and is no longer banned.
So that was unfair.
If Sun deserves to be called out for anything,
it's apparently for acting like kind of an arrogant jerk.
Swimmers: the Axe Body Spray of the Olympics.
Anyway, state-run media Global Times
did not like Horton's comments about Sun.
In fact, they took it as an opportunity to slam the entire country of Australia.
Not only did the Global Times call Horton’s win “immoral” and “disgraceful,”
it called Australian media “evil” and suggested that Australia,
“a country at the fringes of civilization,” and “Britain's offshore prison,”
might have, “a different moral standard.”
And if you think Global Times
is making a really, really big deal out of something
that maybe isn’t that big of a deal,
“It's not a big deal to us.”
Right.
So why is China so obsessed with Olympic prestige?
For more on this
I’m joined by Senior Expert on the Feelings of the Chinese People, Mia Chen.
Mia, ni hao?
Uhh, g’day Chris.
I like your headdress.
Is that one of those ancient Ming Dynasty ones?
No, it's just to keep the flies away.
Wait, are you speaking with...
An Australian accent?
I was going to say an offshore British prison accent, but yes.
Righteo
So why is Chinese media reacting so strongly to,
what some might call, petty things?
Well, the Chinese media is a bit aggro, Chris.
But Olympic gold is one of the few things China can say
it’s neck and neck at with the United States.
They've got heaps of medals, now.
That’s the kind of soft power you can only get
by taking kids as young as five out of school
and training them all day every day in the hopes
that one of them can be the best...
at trampoline.
“Only two men will be chosen to represent China at trampoline in Rio...
I was selected for training when I was 7.
Or you can x-ray them to see if they're going to grow really tall,
like they did to Sun Yang.
What?
Are you a criminal?
Oh, don’t you start that too!
Australia is very diverse, and only a few parts of it were used as a prison colony,
and that was a really long time ago…
Oh, I’m sorry,
I think Mia had to go put some shrimp on the barbie.
So what do you think of China’s Olympic reaction?
Leave your comments below.
Once again I’m your host Chris Chappell, see you next time.
Um, you know we call them “prawns”.
And we don’t barbecue them.
So you've just met my friend Mia Chen from Asian Beauty Secrets.
Hi!
If you're interested in Chinese medicine, food, and ancient wisdom,
click here to check out my YouTube channel.
Seriously, it's pretty awesome.
Go check it out.
And where can I get one of those cool fly-swatter hats?
Actually, those are only for tourists.
Like Foster's beer.
What?