- Two.
(women laughing)
- The Patreon community requested it,
you have requested it.
We are watching "Sex and the City"
and commenting on the mental health related scenes.
So if you like this kind of video,
make sure you give it a like, and subscribe.
We'll be watching as they try out therapy,
deal with relationships that don't have drama,
and yeah, there's a lot.
So let's just get to watching.
(dramatic music)
- I love making love to you.
- The feeling's mutual.
- Is there anything you want or need that I am not doing?
- No, it's great.
- [Host] I like this.
We should talk about our sex life
with the person we're having sex with.
Are you happy with what we're doing?
Is there anything else you want?
It's all good.
- That you want or need that I am not doing?
- No.
Well, maybe one thing.
- This is so typical of men in power.
They just love to be dominated and humiliate.
- [Host] Gotta love Samantha.
- Well I told him I'd just gone,
but maybe another time.
I really don't think I can keep saying that forever.
- [Host] Look, she should have said something.
- You have to make a solution.
There's always going to be something.
- Are you guys seriously advocating that I do this?
- Why not he's a great looking
rich political prince.
- Sure, it's practically a fairy tale,
the Princess and the Pea.
- [Host] I love the comedic timing,
the Princess and the Pea that's, they kill me,
the writing is so, so good on the show.
But I thought this was interesting
and something I really want to talk about,
cause we've never talked about why people
like to be peed or even pooped on, right?
And so the interesting thing about
when I was reading up about this,
because obviously you guys know I'm not
like a sex therapist,
I don't specialize in helping people with their sex lives.
However, a healthy sex life is important, right?
And I did like, again,
how they talked about if there's anything else
that you're wanting from me,
I think it's really important when we're having sex
with someone and we're in somewhat
of a committed relationship
that we are, feel free to tell them what we like
and don't like, things we're wanting and not wanting.
That's all good.
However, when,
and this is obviously edited a little bit for TV,
but he asked her if, if she could pee on him.
So he wanted her to pee on him.
And I know they cut that out, but that's what was said.
And at that point,
because they are having this open dialogue,
she said, she should have said something like,
I'm not sure if it's something I'm comfortable with.
Again, we don't want to shut people down, right?
It's okay to think about something, like she's doing,
she's talking with her friends,
are you advocating I do this?
Instead, she lied and said like, oh,
I just went maybe next time.
I think that once we're open and talking about it,
we should be honest.
But the interesting thing about this is Samantha said what
most people think that people like to be dominated
and humiliated, and that is part of it.
But they find that it's actually not that,
they interviewed a ton of people,
I was reading this research article
in preparation for this video.
And they found out that most people like to be peed on
or pee on their partner because they see it
as just another level of intimacy.
Like it's this next level of like connectedness.
I found that really interesting
because I thought like Samantha,
that it was always like a domination humiliation thing,
but hey, it's not always the case.
So that's why it's important, talk to your partner,
ask questions,
know that you have time to figure out what's okay for you,
what you want or don't want,
have a healthy sex life, it's okay.
There are so many clips you guys,
I had a really tough time narrowing them down,
but this one I think is so relatable.
So let's, let's watch.
I love the music and the intros, you guys too?
I don't know.
- It happened two days ago, Aidan and I
had been seeing each other for about three weeks when.
- [Host] I loved Aidan, he was my favorite.
- What is it, bad dream?
- Not sure.
- What's wrong?
- I don't know.
And the truth was I really didn't.
- [Host] We don't always know right, we don't always know
why we're upset or what's happening or how we feel.
- I have no bills, unanswered calls.
- [Host] I like that she looks for like the things,
like logistically in her life
that would be throwing her off, not emotional.
- But the next night, like clockwork,
I realized I was in the throws of an existential crisis.
One that not even the sight of this season's
Dolce and Gabbana strappy sandals could lift me out of.
- Okay, I want to stop it there
because I thought this was so interesting.
First of all, like I said,
the fact that she's waking up middle of the night,
like in this shocked feel like this it's a physical
manifestation of something going on psychologically, right?
But in true Carrie fashion, she goes into her, her life.
And she's like,
I don't have so much as an unpaid parking ticket.
I paid all my bills, she's looking through her drawers.
We so often do that in life where something emotionally
is overwhelming, but we're, we're just so disconnected
that we look into our life to find out
if there's actually something in our,
in our physical life affecting us, right?
Without looking deep into our emotions.
And it's just an, I just love that because she's like,
everything seemed to be an order, what about,
what about up here, Carrie?
Didn't even think about that, okay.
There's a little bit more, let's watch a little bit more.
- Do you want to spend the night?
- Mhm.
- [Host] Again, I love Aidan.
Just so, just so wholesome and nice.
He was always just such a nice guy.
I know everybody thinks that, he was just my favorite.
- And then I realized it, what was wrong last night.
- [Host] Here we go.
- For the first time in my life,
I was in a relationship where absolutely nothing was wrong.
- We can become addicted to drama in relationships.
And again,
going back to what I talked about before is like these
patterns of behavior right?
Earlier Carrie was going to therapy,
and she was saying she was a fly strip
for dysfunctional men, yet she finds a man who's consistent.
Like she said, smooth sailing, as far as the eye can see,
I hate it.
She's saying I'm uncomfortable.
And if you guys have been watching me for a long time,
you know, that even my own therapist,
when I was just out of,
I think it was undergrad going into grad school,
she was like, you've had a lot of unhealthy relationships.
She's like,
I really want you to be uncomfortable in your next
relationship, and I was like, what?
That sounds horrible, and she's like, no,
because you need something different.
And sometimes that discomfort like Carrie's,
that overwhelmed she's feeling,
it's actually kind of a good sign.
I know, but in order to make change,
we have to be uncomfortable.
And unless she wants to continue having these dysfunctional
relationships, she should actually lean into this,
this kind of weird feeling, this discomfort,
for this need for drama.
And instead of, maybe not abstain in that relationship
or leaving Aidan, which spoilers,
if you haven't watched a show that ends up happening.
But instead of doing that,
she should have tapped into figuring out what it was
about the drama and the hunt that she was so attached to
and where that comes from.
So we can kind of tease that out and find ourselves in
healthier relationships in the future.
Okay, there's more even within this episode,
so let's watch another clip together.
(soft music)
- When a marriage breaks up.
There are numerous ways to cope,
you can cry, you can move,
or as Charlotte did, dive into a new routine.
A tap routine.
- I feel good.
I even signed up for sculpture and tap dancing class.
- Because Lord knows you can't do one without the other.
- And everyone keeps telling me to take time to grieve.
I don't need time.
- [Host] See, take time to grieve.
You can see why I had to add that in because Charlotte
just doesn't want to admit that she's grieving
and that the loss of her marriage is a, it's a big deal,
right, that's a huge adjustment.
And instead she just wanted to numb out, she's like,
I'm just going to tap dance and take pottery.
I'm gonna do all these things.
She's essentially distracting herself
from the pain she's feeling, which spoilers,
unfortunately, that just prolongs it.
So by her doing all of this,
she's actually going to feel shittier
for a longer period of time.
- Oh, there's the heart beating.
See?
- Kind of, I think so.
- [Host] I love Miranda she's so.
- Do you want to know the sex?
I can tell you right now if you do.
- Okay.
- Sure?
- Yeah, sure.
- [Host] Whatever, sure, tell me the sex.
- It's a boy, how do you feel?
- [Host] Just no reaction.
- Wow great.
- [Host] The uncomfortable pause, they let it sit,
where she looks at her, how does that make your feel?
- I'm sorry.
- I was lying there.
The technician is giving me a guided tour of my uterus.
Then she tells me I'm having a boy.
- Oh my God, Miranda, you are having a boy.
- [Host] You see the reaction everybody is expecting.
- That is the reaction she wanted out of me,
but I couldn't get it out for her, so I faked it.
- What exactly does a fake sonogram look like
in case I ever need to do it.
- [Host] Good question.
I find it so funny
when we as people expect certain responses
from each other, right?
And we do this all the time.
I expect people to be excited about this change
or even a pregnancy, right?
People to be excited that they're having a baby.
Not everybody feels that way.
Sometimes a pregnancy is a surprise, like in Miranda's case,
she wasn't planning on getting pregnant it was an accident.
Is that going to mean that she's not going to love her child
not be a good mom, no, I'm not saying that,
but I'm just saying that a lot of times in society,
we expect people to be super excited about life change
and we forget that it's change
and change is super uncomfortable, right.
And so I just really love this part because both Carrie
and Miranda are not necessarily
thrilled about these life changes.
Miranda's like, yeah, I'm having a baby, whatever.
Okay, it's a boy, okay cool.
And Carrie's like,
everybody gets so excited when I'm getting married, oh no.
I would argue on Carrie's side of things.
Maybe it's not the right fit for her,
and that's why she's not excited.
But also I think we just need to support each other
and our own reactions to life changes
until we've kind of made sense of how we feel about it.
Okay, there's another clip.
Let's get into this last one.
- Okay.
On the count of three.
- [Host] Okay, how bad do we think it is?
- One, two.
(women laughing)
- [Host] Those are, I mean, no offense,
to anybody's wedding dress,
but those are particularly poofy, like a cupcake.
- Hold still, you need a veil, you need a veil.
- [Host] Okay,
I love that it starts out all fun right?
- I look beautiful,
you can't even tell that I'm pregnant in this.
The sleeves help balance out the tummy,
don't you think it's kind of fashion.
- Oh my God this is too tight I can't breathe.
Can you get, can you get it off me?
- Are you kidding?
- No, I'm not kidding.
I'm not kidding, get it off,
I'm burning up, I can't breathe.
- [Host] A panic attack, I'd say.
What do you think, that was my assumption.
- Oh my God your back is all red.
- [Host] Even getting hives.
- Get it off, just rip it off.
- [Host] Complete overwhelm.
- Oh my God, what just happened?
- Yeah what did just happen?
I of course had to include this because even the joke,
right, Miranda thought well let's just rip off the bandaid.
Let's go try on some fun dresses and just goof.
And they're horrible, it's not either of their styles,
right, again, to each their own if you love those dresses,
you do you, but I'm just saying, we know our characters,
right and they don't dress like that.
That's not, Carrie would want something totally couture
or something vintage or,
and seeing herself in a wedding dress,
even it had nothing to do with the style of it.
I'll just throw that out there, had nothing to do
that it was like that shitty bridal shop
where it wasn't her style, it wasn't anything she wanted.
It was because imagining herself as a bride,
wasn't right for her right now, and again,
like she wasn't excited about being engaged
because she wasn't excited about getting married
and putting on that wedding dress made it all the more real.
And she was super triggered.
It was like someone just poking all the buttons
and her system went to overwhelm, right.
I would say that was a panic attack, the hives,
the overheating feeling, she can't breathe,
the like having to crouch cause she probably felt
like she was going to faint or pass out.
We all know panic attacks do that to us.
We think we're going to like fall over and die
or something bad's going to happen.
All that was happening super quick.
And she had to get out of it immediately,
which is why she had Miranda rip that dress open,
which I'm sure, I think she even says
I shouldn't end up paying for it but.
Yeah, it's our body's trying to tell us
what's going on in our mind,
whether we want to hear it or not.
And for our final clip,
there's so many you guys, if you want a part two,
like I said, like this, leave comments, subscribe.
Let me know, cause I loved doing this,
but for the last clip,
we'll just talk about closure and relationships.
- Later that day,
I got to thinking about tense relationships.
And by that, I mean -
- [Host] Carrie always doing her deep thinking, I love it.
Its connection with the past present and future tense.
At a certain age,
we've all had relationships that are far from past perfect.
But how much does that past relationship
affect our dream of a future perfect?
And as I became more and more tense,
I couldn't help but wonder,
can you get to a future if your past is present?
- [Host] Good question,
can we we hold to the past and move forward?
- So are you going to be okay here?
- [Host] We'll talk about it.
- Absolutely, go.
- You know, it's just stupid, a standing breakfast thing.
- [Host] I never liked Berger, it just never,
he didn't do it for me.
- And for the record you my friend are not pathetic.
(phone rings)
- [Host] Oh, answering machines, wow.
That's when you realize how old the show is.
- 9:30 in the morning, one word, telemarketer.
- I think that's a two word hyphenate.
- (speaker on phone) Hey Jack it's Lauren.
- It was official, Lauren controlled
every machine in the apartment.
- (speaker on phone) Call me I want to talk to you.
- Fuck you and fuck you.
- [Host] Wow.
- Bye bye.
- [Host] Bye-bye I love the switch, okay.
Okay, first of all, answering machines,
this clearly was not filmed anytime recently,
but it still holds true.
We see, we hear her talking about past and present.
Can you hold on to a past relationship or thoughts about a
past relationship and move into a new one healthfully?
And the short answer is no,
if we don't let go of that past relationship
and let it be what it was good, bad, whatever.
We can't fully be present in our new relationship
and Berger's reaction, also, as you know,
it was edited for TV right?
So he doesn't really he's like beep you
and his fingers are all blurred out, really cracking it.
But anyway, the double finger to the answering machine,
which she then talks about later in this episode,
isn't a good sign.
It actually means that Berger is still emotionally affected
by his ex and emotionally invested in some way,
so much so that her just leaving a simple voicemail
is overwhelming to him that he feels like he needs to
like cuss her out and flip her off.
And it's not that, oh, this is terrible.
And we can't have some animosity for maybe an ex who cheated
or lied or, you know, abused us for years.
I don't know, we can still not like them,
but to have a small thing happen, and it sends us
into overwhelm whenever I feel like I'm overreacting.
And I know we, we use the term overreaction,
people think, oh, that that's like so judgmental.
What I really mean is if our reaction is over and above what
the actual situation kind of calls for.
Like right, she left a message, you could be like, ugh,
she's so annoying, I hate her.
That would have been fine.
But the like, fuck you and fuck you.
To me that shows us that there's something there.
Something needs to be talked through,
processed, or whatever.
So overall it's not the,
it's not the best indicator.
I wouldn't want to date someone who still felt that way
about their ex.
Well that's all we have you guys.
Thank you so much for watching
and click here to watch my videos about how to have healthy,
romantic relationships, and as always,
let's keep working together towards a healthy mind
and a healthy body and I'll see you next time.
(soft music)