okay if i'm being honest i lost mr
caputo's hard drive weeks ago
alicia before you freak out he is in
this building somewhere i know he is
oh young and cute
he thinks he's cute app start a vintage
motorcycle
come on what a douche well i would be
happy to slide down that pole
i'm uploading my fifth old lady in a row
fine
i wasn't paying attention yesterday and
i put this hipster woman's experience of
natural childbirth into an old male
judge
freaked him the out
jesus whatever you do do not tell dude
it was a up he'll give you zero
stars and you can't afford to lose this
job
well neither can you uh i have my dog
walking gig
i do hair and i'm the night manager
falafel hello
i'll survive are you on nightly
nightly is only for living people to
hook up with one another
no living woman wants to hook up with
your dead catfishing ass okay
okay geez i was just browsing for old
time's sake
i can look i'm watching you dead boy
oh what are you doing what does it
look like i told you to keep your dead
ass away from my living visitors ma'am
do you know he's an upload for my
permanent resident floor
excuse me
get your ass back upstairs
you think you got something on me
because i have to follow the rules
but guess what i muted the system you
goofy so now
we play by my rules oh scary
i hope your rules include me getting
unlimited free gorditas
you spoiled shits have more food than
i've ever seen crunch me
this instant nope according to my log
i've already given you a free gordita
and watched you eat it we didn't you
liar you
that's going in my fingers and fix files
give me back my you finger
when you improve your attitude
all right what are you doing
i'm gonna get you luke
i'm gonna yep dang that's messed up
so what about your lady boner still
there
rock hard you know what i'm gonna say
don't you give him a more chance and see
where it goes get the back on
nightly
this algorithm is responsible for tons
of real relationships
quickest way to get over a guy is to get
under a new one
where are his fingers angel god damn it
this is a fireable offense
wait i won't press charges if
she says she's sorry
me apologize
that's too far apologize to the client
angel
he is being very reasonable
he i what it was he
you you're the i i gotcha
don't worry about it we're cool it's
just a game we play busting each other's
balls
is this my business though
leaving the system i know alicia
i think there may be people out to kill
him i knew you overreact
i've got to warn him how you're grounded
and he's on the move
a lot of people looking on the ground
all over the place yeah i know that's
where people hide easter eggs under a
bush
well maybe when all the chickens are
pecking under the same bush the smart
chicken pecks by the water
what the just let me look okay
helping or hurting alicia
did you look everywhere on that thing
yes duh
maybe take a load off and have a seat on
the upturned apple crate
no time i'm in it to win it take a load
off and sit down on the obvious crate
stop being weird and leave me alone god
get out but i gotta get my stuff no you
don't or you're gonna gotta get my foot
in your ass
okay
nora nora nora do you have your chance
with me babe but you just
[Applause]
women aren't funny your wife must have a
sense of humor
she's seen you naked oh
don't my cucumber do i call you or do i
just commit a crime
probably committing a crime would get me
to you quicker this is me and my most
inviting
thank you and good night