So many guys are caught up in this pornography and it really just not only saps your sex
drive, but also actually saps your motivation in your drive to go out and meet women in
general, independent of your sex drive.
Now most guys are watching porn and it’s really going to hold them back in their lives.
The reason is, two reasons that I want to go into: Number one, is something called hedonic
adaptation.
Hedonic adaptation is where your brain grows accustomed to new titillating stimulation
and eventually, that titillating stimulation has less and less effect, so that it doesn’t
really have as much punch as it used to the first, second or third time.
For example, back in the early 1900s, if a man saw a woman’s ankles, he would get blown
away.
He is really turned on.
To see a woman’s ankles was very titillating.
Because women wore long, long dresses that covered up her legs, covered up her feet,
and covered up their ankles.
Woman would basically lift up her dress like this, to show on the ankle and that was amazing.
But today you see ankles and legs on television.
You see women’s ankles and legs out on the streets.
So it has no titillating effect on you anymore.
Instead, what men find titillating are breasts.
Breasts are that titillating thing.
But if you go down to a nude beach down in South Florida, for example, you see a bunch
of naked breasts and at first you are like, “Wow!
This is amazing!”
Your brain is getting overload stimulation.
“I never saw so many breasts before!”
But after, actually, just a couple hours your brain adapts.
It’s not as stimulatory and titillating.
After a few days of going to the same beach it is going to seem normal.
Breasts are normal.
So your brain adapts; i.e.
Hedonic adaptation.
Now bringing this into porn, for example, let’s say you discover your perfect 10 porn.
You discover the perfect girl and you think, “Wow!
This girl is so amazing!
So awesome!
I could just jerk it to this one girl for the next year.
I don’t even have to go look for other porn!”
But what happens is after a couple days of getting off to the same girl, even though
she was your perfect 10, let’s say she was a tall blonde, now are you like, “I need
to see some Hispanic girls, I need to see some black girls”.
So actually, after a couple of days, you get bored with the same porn star even if she
was amazing.
That’s hedonic adaptation.
Or let’s say you develop or collect this big ultimate porn collection- the best porn
you have ever discovered and you just collect it.
What happens?
You never really go back and watch that collection.
You never go back into the archives or anything.
You are always looking for new stimulation.
Because, no matter how good the porn was, your brain adapts quickly to that titillating
experience.
You need something new.
You need something more.
So what happens is that your brain is accustomed to constantly getting new girls, new stimulation
from pornography.
And when you go out and meet real girls on the street, club or bar, wherever it is, the
girls are not as titillating.
They’re not really sexy.
They’re not what you would really want them to be and only the super fine 10s can even
get you motivated or inspired.
So what happens is your brain adapts to these hypersexual girls in porn and then when you
see real women in real life, you are just not that motivated.
What happens is you go out, you see normal girls but you don’t feel that motivated.
You’re like, “Yeah, I should go talk to her, I should go talk to that one, I should
do this, I should do that…”
But you don’t really have that drive that forces you to go do it, because your brain
is not getting stimulated by regular girls.
So you think, “I will just go back home and watch some porn; Get that stimulation”.
So that’s one way that saps your drive.
Another way that porn, really, can sap your drive is I am going to use an analogy with
chocolate cake i.e. grandma’s chocolate cake.
Grandma makes chocolate cake for you every week.
It’s delicious chocolate cake.
It’s grandma’s chocolate cake.
So every week you put on some nice clothes, you get into your car, you drive over to grandma’s
house, you say hello to grandma, you talk to grandma, she pulls out the chocolate cake,
you take the fork, you put the fork into the cake, you put it up to your mouth and “Mmm….!”-
Grandma’s chocolate cake is delicious.
Now your buddy says to you, “Look I have got this awesome machine.
You can have all the chocolate cake you want; you can have all the desserts.
In fact, you just hook up this machine, these two wires to your brain and it will give you
the stimulation of eating desserts”.
So with this machine, you can press a button and you are getting chocolate cake stimulated
to your brain.
It feels like you’re really experiencing chocolate cake… but directly to the to the
pleasure center of your brain!
Then you hit another button and now you can get pumpkin pie.
And you hit another button and 30 seconds later you can get ice cream and hit another
button 30 seconds later you can feel like getting chocolate chip cookies, the most mouth
savoring delicious chocolate chip cookies you’ve ever eaten.
And say, you just get desert pleasure for two weeks, non-stop.
And what’s great about this machine is that you don’t have to even expend any time or
effort to get the pleasure.
You don’t even have to you put your fork down, up to your mouth and chew.
You have to expend calories to do that.
You don’t have to go drive to the store, expend gas or pay money for gas.
You get it all instantly from this machine.
So what happens?
After two weeks of doing using the machine, Grandma calls you up and says to you, “Hey!
Sunny, come on over and eat some chocolate cake with me”.
So you think to yourself, “I should spend some time with grandma.
I should eat some real chocolate cake.
I should go over there and do my obligation”.
But you’ve got to get dressed.
You’ve got to get inside the car.
You’ve got to buy some gasoline.
You’ve got to go over to grandma.
You’ve got to say hello.
It’s a big production, you think to yourself.
You don’t feel that motivated to do it.
It just starts to feel like a hassle.
Especially, since you had this machine and since you can get the stimulation right to
your brain instantaneously…
AND it even tastes BETTER than grandma’s chocolate cake.
Because in this machine they had some sciences design what was the perfect tasting chocolate
cake for you.
So you just don’t feel like going to see grandma.
It’s not fun anymore because the simulation of the machine is more fun.
So it’s the same way, same exact same thing with the girls and porn.
Basically you jerk off to some porn and then you just don’t feel the motivation that
you should to go out and meet REAL girls.
You feel like, “Yeah, I should go out…
I should do this…
I should do that… but I can just get pleasure and stimulation from watching pornography”.
And even if you DO go out, then because you have hedonic adaptation, the real girls are
not really stimulating you in the same way, because you have been seeing tons of naked
bodies, tons of naked girls in porn.
You can’t control the fantasies exactly how you want.
So when you see the girl in the club it’s just not as stimulating as it should be.
Now here is really the trap of porn.
In the very short-term, porn is awesome!
Let’s say an asteroid is going to hit the earth and you have 30 minutes.
Are you going to be like, “Ah God, I got to meet some real girls”?
After all, you only have 30 minutes to live.
You’re not going to get laidin 30 minutes.
If your outlook is 30 minutes from now, porn is great.
Because you can get a lot of pleasure and a lot of stimulation from porn.
You can expend zero time and effort to get that pleasure and stimulation.
The problem is that we tend to think very short-term.
We want the short term payoff.
So we’ll just watch porn.
The problem is on the long-term.
Let us say, a 3 year timescale.
Take one guy that’s watching porn and another guy that avoids porn.
The guy who just skips out on porn, maybe three years from now he can have two or three
girlfriends.
He’s gotten laid like 20 or 30 times.
He is socially sharp from going out.
And because he’s been around girls, he feels that pressure on himself to go the gym, to
look nice, be healthy, eat correctly, and have good habits.
Whereas the guy that just gives into the easy temptation of porn, gives into the quick stimulation
of porn with no effort.
He doesn’t feel that pressure to look good.
He doesn’t feel that pressure to eat healthy or go to the gym.
He doesn’t feel that pressure to be social and be socially sharp.
He’s not going to have any girls around him.
And he’s not going to have two or three girlfriends.
He is not going to be getting laid.
So three years from now; even though there is a short-term payoff to watching porn which
traps you into wanting to do it, over the long-term it’s a very negative habit.
It’s really going to hold you back.
Now you might be asking, “Jesse, what about a cheat day?
Can I have a cheat day where once a week I watch porn?
I don’t do it very often, but I want to watch a little porn here and there.”
The problem with that is, you’ll watch porn once and then it can be very easy to backslide
into that habit of watching it day after day, two or three days in a row, or worse.
You get the stimulation one day and then the next day you are like “I kind of want to
see that other girl.
I didn’t quite finish off to her”, so the second day you’re back to it.
It’s very easy to backslide into it if you have cheat days.
Another issue with cheat days is, if you want to be, for example, a great runner, you want
to do marathons and you want to really excel at your hobby… then yes, you CAN have a
cheat day eating all you can eat at McDonald’s every Saturday.
But it’s not going to make you the best marathon runner.
Doing that cheat day is really going to impinge on your results.
If you want to get the best results out of your hobby or out of your passion of women,
you don’t want to have that cheat day of doing porn.
You want to align all of your habits to be good habits to give you the best results you
can get.
You don’t want to be cheating with bad habits.
You don’t want to be in the mindset that pornography is a positive reward.
You want to see porn more like eating junk food or smoking, where you want to just avoid
it completely.
There’s really no reason to do a cheat day.
Another thing to consider is that porn watching is a maladaptive trait, where your brain is
tricked into thinking that porn is like fucking a real girl, when it’s not.
You’re wasting your time on the simulation fantasy.
It’s not going to help you reproduce.
So basically you are going to have two groups of guys in society- first, guys that get sucked
into porn because it’s tricking their brain.
Their caveman brain can’t tell the difference between the fantasy and going after girls
in real life.
Versus guys that, for whatever reasons their genes say, “I am going to skip the porn.
I am going to go after real girls”.
Those are the guys that are going to be genetically successful.
They are going to have more sex.
They are going to have more children.
They are going to have more choice of women.
They are going to have more fit offspring to propagate their genes into future generations.
Whereas the guys that get all hung up on porn or spend a good deal of their days in front
of porn are eventually going to get weeded out.
So, it’s really almost like a life-and-death struggle of your genes.
Are you able to adapt to the post-1995 universe of the world, where porn is basically ubiquitous?
Can you still get the hot girls in that kind of situation, or is this new technology going
to suck you into the abyss of not being able to procreate?
Because maybe you can’t not adapt to the new pitfalls in the new environment.
And as you know, species go extinct or certain traits in the species go extinct when the
environment changes and that species or groups within the species can’t adapt to the new
environment.
So you want to be one of those guys that is adapting to modern society.
A guy who can still procreate, be successful genetically in evolution instead of being
one of those guys that your lineage is going to be snuffed out because you wasted time
watching porn with lack of motivation.
There are two things you can do however one is to leave a comment right below the video.
I read all the comments.
I am interested in what you have to say and I reply to a good number the comments when
I get
the chance.