I tease my whole life that I was getting
married like this when I turned 18 my
father he's like come on we're going on
right I got in the car and he's like I
turned you in this morning and he had
written a letter and recommended me that
very morning and then I was called
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are you Warren Jeffs Texas jury has
convicted polygamist sect leader Warren
Jeffs of child sexual assault Jeffs is
serving a life sentence for sexually
assaulting underage girls he considered
fraud prosecutors use DNA evidence to
show Jeff's fathered a child with a 15
year old girl and during the court
proceedings they played an audio
recording of what they said was him
sexually assaulting a 12 year old and
what his church calls spiritual
marriages although he's behind bars the
teachings of Warren Jeffs still remained
ingrained in his sheltered Society
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what Jeff says he's mean he's not really
all the way there he's like he's like so
psychotic
he started asking me what how do you
feel what do you want how's that in
how's it all this stuff when Warren told
me that this is what the Lord wanted and
he knew he'd seen me and knew what was
going on and all this stuff I was really
scared because at that time I was really
really innocent you know I didn't know
anything about marriage really my mother
never sat down and gave me an education
I had in my mind because I had a sister
older than me that was married turn two
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he was given these sermons that were
really scaring me too because he was so
strict you know you have to obey all the
commandments or you're guilty of the
whole and all these really straight
things you know I need like I was just
like going into shock and he got up
there one day and said if you need more
time I'll let you go to a house and
hiding I'll let you go to a place where
you can prepare further a house at
hiding is a house where there's a
caretaker with the family a man over the
house it's just in the middle of some
city somewhere that you can't go outside
most of the time unless it's like clear
out and no milla no man's land you just
stay there and pray and read until
you're accepted back to the land and he
told me he said I just want you to go
and write a confession letter
you've been out this little I think this
will be the fourth year pretty freaking
hard
my dad he has married mother H so so all
the underlined ones are out so Sandra
Carlene Sarah Rachel and Laura Alice
Andrea Andrea died
Carol Lydia Melanie Julia Hyrum Daniel
mark Nathanael Vienna and Marie and
Susie and Rosie are all in
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the other order is something that the I
guess the priesthood
so you'd call it came up with they call
you in and pretty much evaluate you and
if they find you worthy you get baptized
into it our caretaker my brother he
called me and he told me to pack a
change of clothes and we were going on
to do a priesthood project then it hit
me
that we were actually going to be
baptized into this order then they took
us into a room full of people waiting to
get actual baptized into the order and
they were playing all the Zion songs
it was clothing everywhere everything
was white it was white tights white
socks there was people who were really
happy and smiling and people who were
just dead inside I started asking where
mom was and and where my younger sister
was and you know I was a little shocked
and confused because I knew I knew my
mom and I knew my younger sister and
they were really good people and I just
couldn't understand why they wouldn't be
accepted
and
honestly I think the United order is
just a joke just a sick disgusting joke
to pull families apart
and honestly that's why we even came out
in the first place is because I was
gonna be separated from her and my
mother and I just couldn't do that we
tried to leave two times before and the
first time was when we went to our
caretaker
they told us we'd be yes it was our
choice to leave but if we left then we
would be raped and used up and honestly
at a time I thought well being rape and
used up doesn't sound too bad I mean I
had my sisters praying to die and my mom
about to lose her mind and we left
we didn't take nothing
yeah I lived here when I was little but
it was a lot different than it is now
Mike there were three wives that lived
here one of them had 12 kids one of them
had 13 and my mom had 14 kids one of
these rooms used to be the baby room but
mom had for her kids but it wait
whenever mother had flushed her toilet
and it would leak down the wall and
there was mold and mice just everywhere
down here and there was cockroaches and
when you went to bed then you could feel
the mice like nibbling on your hair it
was gross and you could see up into the
study and that's where the big girls
used to comb their hair and I guess the
first then like the town was combing
their hair in like a different way and
then all of a sudden they came out with
these hairstyles and this lady would
come and teach you how to do your hair
and all the big girls took that class
and learned how to comb their hair these
two we kind of talked about it like you
know kind of jokingly or like who would
you marry or you know and then we like
we try and be mean to each other and
like put our names with like people we
didn't like there was this one kid who
was named Denham Levi yeah as we got
older I think we started getting a
little more afraid so we didn't talk
about
as much
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well it's the one on the corner that big
house on the corner we lived in the half
of it the tall partner this is their air
yeah I tried to get one test I want to
put you know I want to live in there and
I also want to put some businesses
initial pay for itself
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I lived in this house for like four
months
oh they weren't very good tents I was
kind of confused
and we were always taught they were
after us the world was after us they
wanted to get us and break our faith
they wanted to take our virtue and just
even kill us you know they lock up a lot
of people they locked me up I tried to
run away on the streets people would
call and tell you know that I was
running my mother would show up and you
know yell at me and I didn't have a
choice but to come back and they went so
they locked me up with two screws in the
window and the door knob turned on
backwards and I found some scissors and
secreted one side and then I started
pounding on the other side until it
broke off I just hopped out and ran away
I didn't take anything with me cuz I
think I'd beat you don't even make it
you know I took back roads went through
the creek went over to a house that I
knew was people that were on the outside
so before the end of the day I was
completely out of this town
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right after I got baptized into the
United order when we when you're in you
all you're supposed to fill this out
every night along that's right a journal
of what you did to bless other people in
detail isn't yeah in detail yeah well no
offense to Michelle but when she went in
to get her interview the only reason she
was not picked was because she was heavy
I guaran-damn-tee you that was the
reason I cleaned every week that house
from top to bottom because they told me
I was positive no one would help me
there at all look away you know go away
when I go in their room and start
cleaning they were all alienating her
and none of them could say anything to
her so she'd just lay on her bed and cry
and Ava told me I could hear Michelle
over there crying but I couldn't get up
who the over and say hey show me you
want to talk about it you know cuz she
was in the you oh she couldn't doctor
and my sister wife was asking her
everyday are you doing what they said
you're not talking to Michelle are you
you know so she had she had a monitor
right there in the home so she couldn't
walk in the room and they would walk out
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PTSD is like what soldiers get when
they've been through traumatic things I
have PTSD the way that they taught us to
pray is actually feeling brain waves
through the mind and it's it's making
people go ahead and catch it was a long
path in recovery find those triggers you
know what was real you know I'm just
glad that I caught him eventually
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we'd come up here and walk around the
reservoir to when I was like 13 14 15
and you can't really get lost here so
you just walk and walk and walk and tell
huh
he hit tired I had a lot of bad memories
here but I also had a lot of good ones
and that I can come down here now and
you know it won't be so foreboding
anymore like more and more that
foreboding feeling that depressing
feeling is going away but I can see why
some people want to go away and never
come back though because for how bad I
had it I actually had it really really
good in there like at least I wasn't a
Jaffe's and you know made to live in
that fortress
and trapped
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you