this video is sponsored in part by
curiosity stream imagine you arrived at
a party but your friends are nowhere to
be seen so you have two options the
obvious one of staring mindlessly at
your phone or the terrifying one of
talking to strangers even if you want to
reach out you might worry what if they
don't like me what if I come across as
awkward what do I even say to them
never fear recent research suggests that
new acquaintances actually like you more
than you think and that talking to
strangers can lead to a boost in
happiness but it can be hard to get
started luckily there are some
psychological tips you can use it to
master small talk I'm Vanessa and you're
watching brain crafts where we explore
the psychology in your everyday life
first you've probably experienced the
liking gap in a recent study researchers
paired up two strangers to have a
conversation they asked each person to
rate how much they liked their partner
and how much they thought their partner
liked them people consistently
underestimated how much people liked
them and enjoyed their company
researchers called this the liking gap
so try not to worry about what people
think they probably like you more than
you realize
though you may still be wondering how do
you actually make small talk well start
by asking more questions people who ask
questions during conversation have been
rated as more likeable questions like
what do you do can be pretty dull
instead try to get to know the other
person by asking what do you do for fun
what's the best thing that's happened to
you this year or what are you looking
forward to what excites you and remember
that it's important to stay engaged in
the conversation asking follow-up
questions is important this shows you're
actively listening so if the person
mentions that they like travelling ask
where they've been or where they're
going next
in a recent speed-dating study those who
ask more follow-up questions were more
likely to get
second date and give people your full
attention
your actions matter two studies have
shown that people who texted during a
conversation we're seen as less polite
and attentive so put your phone away now
you still might think that making small
talk is about as much fun as swimming
with sharks but it can actually have a
lot of benefits for your professional
and personal life
for example experts estimate that three
out of four jobs are found through
professional networking rather than a
job ad then small talk can actually
increase your sense of belonging
research has found that people report
feeling happier when they chat with
someone like a bartender or barista and
treated them more like an acquaintance
than a stranger even though you may
think chatting to strangers is
unpleasant people report liking it more
than they expected just like any other
skill you can improve your small talk if
you work at it casual interactions can
be really positive experiences so with
some practice and these tips you can
enjoy the big benefits of small talk if
you still don't want to talk to people
try conversations with dolphins they're
super intelligent display kindness and
can be found in a documentary of the
same name on curiosity stream who are
the sponsor of today's episode they're a
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than 2400 documentaries and nonfiction
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for braincraft viewers at the first 30
days are completely free if you sign up
at curiosity stream comm ford slash
brain craft and it used the promo code
at braincraft thanks
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