♪♪♪ >>> WELCOME BACK TO "INSIDE THE
NBA," I'M ERNIE JOHNSON. THAT'S KENNY "THE JET" SMITH AND
CHARLES BARKLEY. >> HEY, WHAT'S UP.
>> WHAT'S UP. >> AND ON MY RIGHT, HERE'S
SHAQUILLE O'NEAL. >> HAPPY HOLIDAYS, MERRY
CHRISTMAS. MERRY MERRY -- AND IF YOU ARE
JEWISH, HAPPY HARMONICA. >> THANK YOU SHAQ.
WE ALSO WANT TO WELCOME BACK CHARLES WHO SPENT THE PAST FEW
DAYS IN HIS HOME STATE OF ALABAMA CAMPAIGNING FOR
DOUG JONES. I'M SURE YOU'RE HAPPY CHARLES.
>> OH, I AM ERNIE. FIRST OF ALL, I'M HAPPY FOR
ALABAMA, I'M HAPPY FOR THE COUNTRY.
AND I WOULD BE PERFECTLY HAPPY IF I HADN'T BET $100,000 ON
ROY MOORE. >> YOU BET ON ROY MOORE?
>> I COULDN'T HELP IT, MAN. I THOUGHT HE WAS A LOCK.
I'M FROM ALABAMA, IT'S NOT THE MOST PROGRESSIVE PLACE.
I MEAN, A LOT OF FOLKS DOWN THERE THINK THAT ELLEN DEGENERES
IS GOING THROUGH A PHASE. I MEAN, ROY MOORE RODE A HORSE
TO THE POLLS. >> SHAQ CAN'T RIDE NO HORSE.
FEET DON'T TOUCH THE GROUND. BUT CAN'T BEAT A DEAD HORSE,
CAUSE DEAD HORSES TELL NO TALES CAUSE THEY'RE HORSES, WHO LOST
THEIR TAILS. >> SHAQ, YOU GOT TO GET IT
TOGETHER, MAN. I THINK YOU'RE THE ONLY
BASKETBALL PLAYER WHOSE BRAIN IS AGED LIKE A FOOTBALL PLAYER.
LET'S JUST SAY CONGRATULATIONS TO DOUG JONES.
>> IT'S AMAZING THAT THE UNDERDOG WON.
>> HEY, WELL, I TELL YOU WHAT, EVERY DOG HAS A DAY.
BUT IT'S NIGHTTIME. NO TIME FOR DOGS.
DOGS DON'T SLEEP. SO, IT'S CAT TIME.
CATS COME OUT AT NIGHT. FREAKS COME OUT AT NIGHT.
SHAQ-A-FREAK. >> SHAQ, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU
SAYING, MAN? WE TALKING ABOUT THE SENATE
ELECTION. >> OH, HEY, I LOVE THE SENATE.
I WRITE AN E-MAIL, HIT THE SEND BUTTON, BOOM, SENT IT.
>> SHAQ, IT'S LIKE A WHOLE BUNCH OF WORDS GOT JUMBLED UP IN YOUR
BRAIN AND THEN THE FIRE MARSHAL SAID, "EVERYBODY OUT!"
>> YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH, CHARLES. DON'T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE
AND DO SOME SHAQ FOOL ON YOUR ASS.
AH -- AHH. >> OKIE DOKIE, LET'S JUST MOVE
ON TO TONIGHT'S GAMES. FIRST, LEBRON JAMES AND THE
CLEVELAND CAVS TAKE ON THE L.A. LAKERS.
>> EXPECTING A BIG GAME FROM LEBRON, WHOSE IS HAVING ANOTHER
MVP YEAR. HE'S JUST ON AN ENTIRELY
DIFFERENT PLAYING FIELD THIS SEASON.
>> NO, NO, NO, NO. KENNY, THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
LEBRON IS NOT ON THE FIELD. HE'S ON THE COURT, DUMMY.
YOU'RE -- YOU'RE A DUMMY. HE'S A -- COURT IS IN SESSION,
ALL RISE FOR HONORABLE JUDGE SHAQ.
AND SHAQ DON'T CRY. >> WHAT?
MAN, SHAQ, I CAN HEAR YOUR TINY BRAIN RATTLING AROUND YOUR SKULL
LIKE A LITTLE BEAN IN A MARACA. >> OKAY.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S TRY TO ALL GET ALONG FOR ONCE.
OKAY. >> YEAH, YEAH, CHARLES, LET'S
GET ALONG. CAUSE WHEN YOU GET ALONG, YOU
GO ALONG. WHEN YOU GO ALONG, YOU TAG
ALONG. BUT SHAQ LOVES TAGALONGS.
BEST GIRL SCOUT COOKIES, TAGALONG.
IT'S THE SHAQ OF COOKIES. >> SHAQ, THAT DOESN'T MAKE A
LICK OF SENSE. I MEAN, HOW DO YOU EVEN DO
ENDORSEMENTS? DO THEY JUST PUT A PACK OF ICY
HOT IN YOUR HAND AND THEN SPREAD PEANUT BUTTER ON THE ROOF OF
YOUR MOUTH AND DUB OVER THE WORDS LATER?
>> OKAY, ALL RIGHT, OKAY. THAT'S IT.
IT'S GO TIME CHUCK. >> GIVE ME THE BALL.
ME AND YOU CHARLES. LET'S GO.
>> GUYS, DEVICE, WE ARE PAID TO COME TO WORK TO TALK ABOUT
BASKETBALL. >> NO, NO, NO.
I ABOUT TO GIVE YOU BARBECUE CHICKEN.
IT'S BUCKETS. YOU SHACK IN A FALL.
>> LOOK AT YOU, MAN. TALL BODY, LITTLE ARMS.
YOU ARE LIKE THE LETTER "F" CAME TO LIFE.
>> ALL RIGHT, HEY, I GUESS WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, WHERE, HEY, WHO
KNOWS, WE MIGHT EVEN TALK SOME BASKETBALL.
>> WELL, $1,000 SAYS THAT WE WON'T.
♪♪♪ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]