[Ian] You know what's awesome? Playing Christmas music in November!
[Anthony] SHUT UP!
[Ian and Anthony make smacking noises] Mmmm. Oh! That's so good!
Ah, damn!
I could eat these all day, everyday.
Hell yeah, man!
24-7, 365!
There's only one way we can decide who gets the last pizza roll.
-Staring contest! -Seeing whose poop is bigger!
What?
I mean, yeah.
Staring contest.
Alright, you know the rules.
First person to blink loses.
Winner gets the pizza roll.
Okay.
Ready?
Set...
GO!
[deep breathing]
Dude, this is getting kind of boring.
Why don't you just quit, then?
NEVER!
Okay, this is really boring.
Alright, then let's take it to the next level.
[extremely loud blow horn]
Uh!
Oh!
Ah!
Bah!
[Ian grunts]
Gah!
-Oh! Oh! Oh! -Oh you think you can--
Oh wait. Oh crap, dude.
I have a blind date I have to go on, so...
So...let's go then!
FINE!
You know it could be extremely dangerous for me to drive without looking at the road.
Yeah, I guess it could.
Well then, let's go.
[tires screech]
Where're you going, Snakey?
[chuckles] Oh, that way? Okay!
Yeah!
[engine revs]
Hi, guys!
Um...would you mind slowing down just a little bit?
I--no!
[screams]
[gasp] Oh man, that was a close one.
[tires screech] Aw crap, I forget my wallet.
[grunt]
Wait, I never bring my wallet on dates.
That way, the girl always pays!
Maybe that's why your dates never work out?
Yeah, probably.
Oh well.
Free meal!
[grunts]
Ow! Oh god.
Okay, man. We really need to stop this game.
This is going to ruin my date!
Then why don't you just blink then!
Oh! Yeah. You know I can't let you win.
You're willing to ruin your chance with the possible love of your life...
..over some stupid pizza roll?!
Yeah, cuz' nothing comes between a man and his P-roll!
Nothing!
Now blink!
[random noises made become awful, awful dubstep]
That's it. Time to end this!
No. No, no, no!
Hey!
Hi, hey there...
You brought a friend.
Yup.
Weird.
So anyway, check this out.
[woman] My mom just made some of her famous fresh ground pepper.
[starts to sneeze]
[both whimper]
This is it, man.
No one has ever sneezed without blinking.
It was an honor staring at your ugly ass face.
You too, man.
Damn it, we both blinked at the same time!
Well, if we tied, I guess we'll just have to split the last pizza roll?
Oh yeah. Why didn't we think of that in the first place?
Wait! What about our date?
[Ian shushes her]
Not right now.
I've got half a pizza roll to eat.
Yeah, nothing gets in between a man and his P-roll.
NOTHING!
[together] Peace!
Well I hope you're hungry after all that, cuz' we're gonna--
Hey, guys!
Thanks for leaving me the last pizza roll!
I was super hungry after getting ran over and stuff...
..and this really hits the spot!
Man, this really hits my G-spot.
[groans repetitively]
Ow!
Take that, Stevie!
Oh, my testes! Ow.
To see a deleted scene, bloopers, and this:
Click the video right here.
-And then I'm going to bend him over-- -Keep going, that's getting interesting.
Thanks for subscribing, guys!
Now try not to blink until this video's over.
Congratulations. You are a winner!