- So what are some things that you can do
that men secretly love?
That's what we are talking about today.
And specifically, in the frame of classy moves,
what are some classy moves that you can make?
Because I love that term classy, don't you?
It's like classy is this perfect mixture
of sexy but with elegance, right?
And it's just so attractive to men.
So today, we're gonna talk about five things
that you can do that are classy moves
that men secretly love.
And number one is to be an amplifier.
There are certain people in this world that are detractors,
that are the energy drainers.
When they walk into a room,
it's just they kind of, by the time they leave the room,
they've just sucked all the life out of that environment.
And then, there's other people who are amplifiers.
They're the people who, when they walk in the room,
they light up the room, right?
They bring energy to the situation.
And when they're around you,
you naturally feel better.
Some women walk in the room and they're like, "Here I am!"
And it's all about them, right?
The classy woman, who's the amplifier,
walks in the room and says, "There you are!
And it's so good to see you."
And they make it about you
without degrading themselves.
They're not lowering their own self-importance
but they are putting the spotlight on you
and bringing fun and bringing energy
and bringing joy and bringing love and bringing focus
to that particular situation.
So when you are that way in your man's life,
when you're uplifting him and uplifting the others
in that same environment,
when you are an amplifier,
your man is gonna be like, "Wow, I love this woman.
Like, I can't go without this woman in my life.
She is so awesome and so classy and so sexy,
I just can't get enough."
Now, the second move is an internal move.
And this is where you own your confidence
by owning your value and worth,
in your own security.
In other words, you don't get rattled real easily
because if you're out there
and you're on a date with this guy,
he is your man and he's handsome,
he's sexy, he's attractive,
and the waitress comes by and she's flirting with him,
and he's not giving her the same energy.
But if you get rattled in that moment,
if you move to a place of anger,
remember anger is usually a secondary emotion.
Anger often bubbles up when underneath it,
we're feeling sad or we're feeling hurt
or we're feeling afraid.
So if you're afraid that she's a threat
to your relationship, you get angry,
that signals insecurity.
There is nothing more attractive
than a woman who knows her worth.
Let me give you an example
of just how attractive this can be.
So I'm married now,
but there was a whole period of time, of course,
that was dating my wife, Irene,
before we got married
where I was leading these seminars,
cracking the man code seminars
and I've had hundreds of women come to these seminars.
And without fail, after the seminar,
women would come up and some women
would be flirting with me
because there's hundreds of women,
they're all single and I'm not married,
and so they're kind of flirting and having fun.
And I'll never forget,
Irene would just be in the back.
She'd be cool as a cucumber.
She'd be grounded.
And on one particular drive home,
I was like, "Hey babe, can I ask you a question?"
I'm like, "You never get rattled.
Like I could just imagine
if I were in your shoes
and you were a dating coach for men
and there were all these single men
that were like flirting with you,
I would get rattled.
How do you stay so grounded?
How do you stay so calm?"
And she was like, "You know,
I used to get a little bit rattled.
But then I realized, you're with me
and you're with me because you want to be with me.
And there's two things.
Number one, you're the kind of guy
that if you don't want to be with me,
you're gonna tell me before you go off
and screw around with some other woman."
I'm like, "Well, that's true.
We have that agreement,
that if we don't wanna be in the relationship,
we're gonna be upfront and communicate beforehand."
And number two, she said,
"And if you're not with me,
I know that I'm gonna go off and find another amazing guy
and create an amazing relationship."
And I was like, "Okay, now that's confidence right there."
That was amazing.
And it was so attractive to me
that she was so grounded.
She didn't get catty, she didn't get jealous,
she didn't get insecure, she didn't come in,
and like put her arm around me
and be like, "This is my man."
She didn't need to do any of that
because she was so grounded in knowing that I was with her.
And if for whatever reason we didn't work out,
she would find some other amazing man.
So that's the classy move is to stay grounded,
stay confident, stay secure in who you are
knowing that what you've got is a good thing.
And if for whatever reason it doesn't work out,
you're gonna find something even better.
And the third move that you can make
that's classy that men secretly love
is use beautiful language even when you're pissed.
And here's what I mean, you know, it's easy.
We all get upset, we all get fired up.
And yet, the person who when they get pissed,
starts throwing F bombs
and starts cussing the other person out and they lose it,
that's an ugly form of behavior because it's disrespectful.
If you can actually maintain respect between the two of you
when you're upset and you don't lose your mind
and start communicating differently
than you would normally communicate,
then that shows self-control.
That shows that you have a degree of resolve in you
that even when you're upset,
you're not gonna start hitting below the belt
or name calling her,
throwing F bombs at your partner.
And that self-control is admirable.
That respect fosters mutual respect in the relationship
and it actually calms down the situation.
And in any relationship,
what both people are looking for
is not just how it goes when times are good
but how can we work through when we're having friction?
How can we work through those moments?
Can we bring it back to a place of peace?
How easy is it to do that?
And the person, the version of you that's throwing F bombs
or throwing cuss words or like jabbing like that,
it just amplifies the situation versus calms it down.
When you use beautiful language in those moments,
it's surprising to the other person
'cause not a lot of people
have the inner control to do that.
Most people will fly off the handle, right?
But the version of you that is grounded, is calm,
speaks with respect.
You can still bring intensity.
You can still let him know that you mean business
and you are serious about this
but in a respectful way,
well, that just sets you apart from everybody else.
The fourth move that you can make and I love this one,
is graciously receive.
Now what do I mean by that?
What I mean is so often,
someone who's beautiful or dressed up or looking great,
someone will throw them a compliment and say, "Oh my gosh,
I love that beautiful dress."
Or, "You look so good tonight."
And they're like, "Oh, I don't look good.
I was so tired, I barely got any sleep last night."
And they will deflect or reject the compliment,
and that actually demonstrates that that person
doesn't own their own worth and value.
It shows a lower sense of confidence.
The best thing that you can do
when someone gives you a compliment is to receive it,
is to say thank you.
Best thing you can do
when someone wants to offer you a gift,
pull out your chair, open the door, pay for your meal.
As long as this doesn't feel manipulative, right?
If it feels genuine,
the best thing that you can do
is to say yes and receive it.
They open the door, say thank you,
because receiving the gift honors the giver.
There's an amplification of energy in that transaction
of giving, receiving, and receiving.
In other words, the giver wants to give as you receive,
then they actually receive the good feeling
of having given the gift in the first place.
So the classy woman,
the confident woman is a gracious receiver.
And the fifth move the classy woman makes
that men secretly love is they speak their truth with love.
They speak their truth with love.
Notice there's two parts to this.
So number one is speaking your truth.
What that means is you're not watering down
what you believe, what you value,
and what you really like
only to fit with what he believes and values and likes.
Because here's what some women do,
they will try to get him to like them
before they even know if they like him in the first place.
And so if you're not speaking your truth,
you're coming across hollow.
It just feels that the whole experience is hollow.
But the other side of this with love is important
because some women and some people in general,
both men and women, we all do this,
if we aren't accepting ourselves
and willing to accept the differences in others,
then speaking our truth can come across hardened.
Not hollow but hardened, right?
It's like my way or the highway.
I'm right and if you don't believe this,
you're wrong and I won't accept you.
That's equally repelling.
So speaking your truth with love means,
"Hey, here's who I am and I love who I am
and I'm willing to accept differences.
If you don't like this, it's not a deal breaker.
I'd love to get to know you
and why you like what you like."
So all of these moves,
men secretly love, they're super classy.
And my question for you is, what are you doing on dates
that you find men love,
that you find were really, really effective?
Go ahead and post those in the comment section below.
What I love about you and this community
is you are brilliant.
The comment section,
when you read the comment section of these videos,
there's so many juicy ideas being shared.
So thank you for both reading those
and commenting and participating,
and here's to your amazing love life.
Thanks so much for watching and I'll see you soon.
(cheerful bright music)