I know we're all feeling a lot of emotions right now. Hope? Yeah! Relief? Definitely.
A little horny? You bet. But as the great thinker and thespian Bruce Willis once said,
yippee-ki-yay, motherf***er! - CNN projects Joseph R. Biden Jr. is elected
the 46th president of the United States, winning the White House and denying President Trump
a second term. Oh my god, yessssss! Yessssssss! This news
is so good it should come with a Hitachi magic wand. But since it doesn't, I'll just have
to use the one I inherited from Grandma. It's what all the men in our family have used to
propose. This election, we celebrated a number of historic firsts. Our Vice President is
going to be a woman who is Black and South Asian, New Mexico elected all women of color
to the House, New York elected the first two openly gay black members of Congress, and
Kansas elected its first openly transgender lawmaker. Like, I knew it would feel good,
but I didn't know it would feel this good. First, I cried, and then I drove to the baker
to say, f*** me up with your biggest cake, Daddy. While it'll be nice to see the Secret
Service drag Trump out of office, the president is leaving behind a wave of white resentment
and disinformation. Plus, out of spite, Trump is probably going to upperdeck all the toilets
in the West Wing. I mean, to be fair, that is a tradition that dates back to the Coolidge
administration. And as much as we'd like to think that a Biden presidency will instantly
solve America's problems, Trump will still exist and so will the base he fired up.
- Trump may have lost, but Trumpism has won. - When and if Trump is gone, the ideas he
left behind and the mechanisms for dealing with polarization, tribalism, and angst and
anger, those remain. He's also leaving enough Filet-O-Fish wrappers
on the White House lawn that kids can jump in them like a pile of majestic autumn leaves.
It's a sad fact that almost half of voters were ready to embrace more of Trump's racism,
sexism, and science denial. Worse, since Trump's defeat, his followers feel more aggrieved
than ever. - Protests are breaking out across the country.
- Many waved Trump flags and signs while wearing MAGA hats. It appears that some are armed.
- Stop the count! Stop the count! - Stop the count! Stop the count!
Wow. This is the first time I think I've ever related to a Trump supporter. Historic reckoning
or not, those candies aren't gonna crush themselves. Trump's most ardent supporters are mad as
hell and they are not going away. They've been fed a steady diet of hate from eager
politicians and right-wing media. - Every Republican candidate will kowtow to
the conspiracy that Trump was stabbed in the back by unseen malicious forces of the Deep
State. A majority of the Republican Party will believe this was an illegitimate election
because they have been poisoned by the Murdoch operation, by OAN, by Sinclair.
I expect conspiracy theories and dastardly dealings from Fox and OAN, but Sinclair? I
never would have expected it from Earl Sinclair. He seemed like a nice, hardworking dinosaur!
Ohhh. Okay. I see it now. Fox News itself wasted no time before echoing the president's
claims of a rigged election. But it's a little weird how they went about it.
- I looked at this last night and I thought of it like a Thanksgiving turkey. You spend
all this time preparing for the meal, right? And you put it in the oven, you set it and
forget it. Right? Six hours, seven hours, however long. That’s what it took, so I
go to bed. I don't expect somebody in the middle of the night to come in and open up
and screw the turkey. Sorry, Greg, maybe if you knew how to satisfy
your turkey, she wouldn't be s***ting around with the other toms. Meanwhile, social media
can be even worse, whether it's generating its own stories or amplifying the ones on
TV. A Facebook group claiming the election was stolen gained 360,000 members before it
was shut down. That's the most dangerous Facebook group since Upper West Side Moms.