well this is an exciting moment for us are we nervous here Paul some of us are yeah we're
a little nervous uh it's a pleasure to welcome this gentleman our first guest of the show
uh he is the star of The Tonight Show please say hello to Johnny Carson [Applause] [Music]
[Music] thank you [Laughter] [Applause] thank you very much
you will find out
I'll tell you what
you will find out David after a few years this is the only way I can talk with anybody
I go to I was on to dinner last night at a restaurant with me yeah I go home after the
show I use this in our bedroom I do not perform well without this death you know you know
I noticed something right off the bat I think your desk is bigger than mine well another
20 years you will have this desk I think I think we can take this away now how about
you unloading something from beacons when you brought it I I saw you were doing an all-prop
show tonight that's right might as well yeah at the end of the week we get out all of the
props yeah uh you have your little yellow sticker there yes I'm a carrier hepatitis
[Applause] [Laughter] [Applause] I thought your whole crew is infected or something now
yeah uh now is this uh thank you very much for being here first of all uh let me just
say something sure um I'm a little miffed at you oh no no no let me tell you why because
when they came to be about a month ago and said would you like to do the letter Michelle
I said yes I want to do it because I love David Letterman and I said you know may is
beautiful in New York I'll go first class round trip
I'll have the hotel the limousine and then I found out you were doing it and I walked
across an asphalt parking lot to get here and I thought I was going you know if I I
always understand I could have done Wheel of Fortune on the way over there's a there's
a man dressed as a giant zucchini in the law waiting to go on let's make a deal I could
have done that but anyway I'm happy to be well we're terribly happy to have you here
now let me ask you right off the bat this you must just hate being a guest on somebody's
show it's very strange I think the last show I did seriously was David Frost uh when David
came over and fooled everybody for a while whoa whoa [Laughter] they thought David was
an Entertainer and then they got on to him
nice thing about it yesterday nice thing about guessing you can be cruel you see on other
people you don't have to be here tomorrow it's very strange sitting here looking this
way talking over here yeah yeah uh do you remember your uh your first uh uh television
appearance
um my very first stupid question obviously you remember well uh yeah I remember but it
was in maybe not stupid star tricks is what this is uh that was him it was in Omaha my
very first television show was in Omaha in 1948 believe it or not I played a milkman
in a documentary called the story of underlined fever about unpasteurized milk that's true
is that right absolutely and that did pretty well too didn't it it's still if you have
cable you can get it late at night you mentioned what you wanted to come to New York to be
on the show when we were back there do you ever think about you've been in in California
how many years now we've been here since 72. you ever ever entertain any Notions of taking
the show to California or to New York um yeah but we know there's not many facilities back
there anymore we used to work in 6B I understand that's all news now yeah do you mind if I
if I do something I want you what happens if I say yes I watch your show and one of
the things you do that I that I get a big kick out of is when you make telephone call
to somebody from somebody in your studio audience you know to say hello to their parents or
something you pick it up and call I would like to do that tonight myself and I asked
to have a phone here would you mind if I do that let me show you I'm going to show you
here first of all thank you come back and do it what do you want to take a break first
we have time now it won't take long I'm going to show you the number I don't want you I'm
sure you won't say anything because I don't want the people to pick up on this do you
recognize this number no I don't John that's I've never seen that number before in my life
I uh no I uh no I've never seen it at all now this is now you're not serious I am serious
is that yeah that's it this is my home phone number back in Indiana all right I did you
call your mother on Mother's Day I certainly did I want to make sure of that so I'm gonna
I have you oh no yeah
I'm serious oh no yes I know Mom's hearing is not what it is yes well [Laughter] you
have to come up out of the cellar is this the right number that's it all right give
may I borrow your phone well you want me to dial a deal or what I guess it would be all
right if let now this is this is don't let him know what it is because I you know some
people can read they hear it and they read the so I guess we have to dial one one then
why is this for real oh God I guess it is run for your lives
all right all right all right okay right this is my mother
mother ladies and gentlemen hello can you hear me yes is this Mrs Dorothy Letterman
that's right Dorothy yes it is are you the are you the mother of David Letterman who
does late night on NBC
this is Johnny Carson I'm calling from NBC in Burbank look how are you Ms Letterman can
I ask you a question had as David ever told you that he hopes that I get run over by a
Sparkletts water delivery truck so so he can get the 11 30 time period on NBC has he ever
told you that
[Applause] [Laughter] yeah yeah yeah yeah
you say mothers mothers don't lie no no we'll uh we'll put a tracer on that call uh we have
to do a commercial we'll be right back with Johnny Carson thank you Paul welcome back
to the show obviously Johnny Carson you and I look like we might be ushering later at
some sort of don't we go I didn't I didn't know you're going to wear your basic hosting
outfit tonight uh now you mentioned uh by the way mom was uh very happy to hear from
now do you want to explain to people that I suppose we should let him in on the joke
by now it's an actress by the name of Arlene Banner she was talking backstage they didn't
tip you did they no no good in fact you know it sounded to me like maybe a cheerleader
had broken into Mom's house answering her phone there Mama's not as spry as she used
to be you know you you met my mom a lot about three years ago I didn't know that yeah well
that's what I tried to explain to Mom it was uh [Music] we must have it must have been
about about 38 years ago as she was working a Uso place in Omaha
now cut that out no we you were not sure you doing your show yeah and my mom was very thrilled
that made her entire trip she was in California for about 10 days I do remember that and it
just it scared me silly it really did but she it was very nice for you to do that now
we're talking about the contract and so on and so forth you just signed a new deal here
at NBC have you ever how many years has it been you're gonna you're working on your 20s
we finished yeah we finished 23 in uh September and I understand if you do 25 you get a Timex
watch from NBC you may go for the one go on for the watch have you uh in in all of that
time has there ever been anything NBC said nope we're not going to give it to you
I've pretty well got a lock on them
[Applause]
your negotiations are two different floors of the building [Laughter] no they've been
we've been we've had a good runway show we've been very lucky the audience has been very
loyal yeah it's been a nice ride yeah but I do think you uh by the way much whatever
you want you've been doing this now for what three years yeah three years in a couple of
months I'll tell you what you will find if you continue this there will come a time when
you run out of questions maybe that's happened to you already could be happening now right
now I I sense that you will have to Starlet on and you will have asked her whether her
mother or father had the greatest influence on whether she likes to live in California
or not I have about run out of questions I have about six or seven left that I have never
ever asked on the show I brought them along oh good thank God just in case you're running
to that bad interview thank God just don't know what to I'm going to will these two years
out these days all right you're in real trouble do you say to your guests what would you do
if I jammed a lit Highway flare up your nose it's just one there
now you had Bo Derek on the other night right yes we did yeah you you could have said to
her have you ever used one of your vital organs as a hand puppet
and puppet Highway some of these obviously are going to be better than others yeah well
you got to try them or you skipped one here's one where do you suppose the sock goes that
disappears in the dryer yeah that's good thought provoking you didn't pay for that plastic
surgery did you that's nice
and my favorite and I think it will probably be yours but we'll be the judge at that moment
you're saying to your guest how would American history have been changed if the secretary
of agriculture and the Roosevelt administration had been Johnny Mathis
I like those pretty well oh my gosh you you uh you get a lot of movie offers living in
California all these years you must people are always saying this man would be perfect
he would be like a another Cary Grant sort of uh person you know I used to get I used
to get some offers and Jack leminois used to say you know I could have played a lot
of exactly exactly which would have been fun but with a Tonight Show as you know when you're
on the schedule I only have like the longest period during the whole year is three weeks
you really don't have time to make a picture yeah and as you get older all of a sudden
it doesn't become much fun if this is this is fun because this is what television is
the Commodities right now spontaneous and you've given you're taken some nice you're
good somebody actually you don't know what's going to happen movies I find kind of boring
you sit there and you have to do it over and over and over again wait eight hours to do
one takes a lot of discipline so um I did do looking for love with Connie Francis
19 in 1965 offering 1965 and uh what was the film what was the plot in looking for love
other than obviously looking for love I remember the uh the ad was could could Connie pass
the kiss test it was a an exciting picture and uh it's the only movie that I know that
the motion picture Academy transferred to flammable nitrate stock
usually they do it the other way around this one they transferred it back and uh looks
like they gave me some money and I was one day and I went in and did it and played myself
there was no big deal uh how do you like the neighborhood we're we're neighbors well I
called you about a week ago to come play tennis and you called and you didn't show I know
why not well I was I was actually I I was I had cold feet but I mean I'd feel like a
jerk playing tennis with you why well because I 90 of the day I feel like a jerk you don't
understand it to me yeah we were up we're up we're out in Malibu yeah and I are you
having some work done on the place we see uh fixing up a few things yeah we sit there
late at night in the car yeah well let's let's keep it that way
oh my God uh you got to go do your show here yeah yeah wrap that up got it um as a matter
of fact what I'm doing tonight I could do the finish here I told the first part of the
joke on my show earlier tonight yeah and I was going to do the punch line here so people
who watch my show all right we'll tune in experiment in television this is a joke in
other words you will not hear this is good this is the punch line to the joke that I
did earlier on my show okay all right and the man says to Mrs O'Hara I'm not so sure
about that he got out three times to go to the bathroom
now that's that's the punch line to the joke that I did this so people are in on a little
television history tonight that's right yeah unfortunate as it is they are yeah yeah all
right now let me see what we're doing here we go to uh the station identification that's
it I think that you want to say goodbye say goodbye he's doing one of these all right
we're done okay uh it was a pleasure and and what do you think it wasn't too awkward was
it I had fun oh Jordan I'm glad you did you were terrific thanks for everything Johnny
Johnny Carson folks thank you very much very funny