hey what's going on youtube this is your certified life and relationship coach coach court
and in today's video i want to talk to you about the fearful avoidant and why they won't reach out
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on youtube in today's video i want to talk to you about some of the reasons why the fearful
avoidant won't reach out first now this is whether you're going through a breakup or if you just had
some type of disagreement or argument the first reason that they won't reach out is because they
mirror your actions so if you're somebody that's kind of feels a little bit of discontentment
with them if you're feeling uncomfortable if you're not happy with something that's going
on within a relationship and you start to pull back yourself they're able to pick up on those
little nuances that happen in the relationship they are very good at sensing a person's vibe
sensing whether or not somebody is still in this or not because let's not forget
the fearful avoidant has the activating and the deactivating strategies they have the
activating of the anxious and the deactivating of the dismissive which makes them able to they
already have a sense of inner turmoil going on so if they start to pick up on somebody is looking
like they're about to abandon me they will do the hurting first so they'll pull back first
the next reason that they won't reach out is because they feel like they're not worthy of
genuine love they have this belief that they're broken inside and nobody would truly love them
and because they have such different levels of trauma as any other attachment style
they really internalize and personalize those things those stories that they were
told coming up because they continue to tell those stories themselves
they're perfectly capable of recognizing when they are the problem in a relationship so
usually it's not a surprise if a person decides to like not deal with them anymore or completely cut
them off or you know do something that's very toxic in a relationship it's like
um you know blowing up at them or getting upset with them
they kind of see that coming and when they start to sense the signs of that being the
case or you're going that route since they already feel like well this is another one bites the dust
i already knew that this was going to happen and i just don't know where i want to be anyway
once they start to see that you're in this as soon as you start to show up consistently that's when
they start to get the most scared because they want a good relationship they want a healthy and
a thriving relationship but the instant that they get it is something that's uncomfortable to them
and it feels like they're being threatened because what you're actually giving them is
it's a it's a land of no man's land what i'm actually starting to question about them is
is it the fact that they kind of like that toxic behavior in relationships the normalcy and the
stability that comes with the healthy relationship almost feels boring to them i guess that'll be a
question if you're fearful avoidant comment down below whether or not that's the case because sorry
i had a christmas ornament fall off the tree my bad from questioning different people that has
identified themselves as having a fearful avoidant attachment style they are sometimes scared to
reach out because they know that that person might reject them because the person is in their opinion
most likely sick of their you know what and don't want to deal with them they're scared
to reach out first because they don't want to be met with rejection and they don't want to have
their ego damaged any more than what it already is because they already feel like they're not
able to have fulfilling loving relationships which is why they kind of just
are always cautiously optimistic about whether or not something is real or not that kind of leads
me to my next reason why they won't reach out to you they feel as if people are upset with them for
being the way that they are they feel that their hot and coldness causes people to get upset causes
people to become impatient and the relationship starts to turn toxic because they know that when
a relationship is so volatile the other person is going to say all right i'm out no matter
how much of the history they had with that person no matter how many reassurances they
were given by somebody they always have those red flags up or those spidey senses that are tingling
about that person leaving them and about that person going back on the promise that they
were going to stick around so if you found this video of any value please like comment and share
reach out to me on my other social media accounts twitter is coachcourt2 instagram is
iamcoachcourt and facebook is iamcoachcourt thank you guys and i will talk to you soon