What led Whoopi Goldberg to marry her own drug counselor?
Why does she say she never really loved any of her three husbands?
And which of her lovers wore blackface to lampoon their relationship? Keep watching to find out!
Whoopi Goldberg's complicated relationship history began when
she was a teenager experimenting with drugs. She told The Telegraph,
"I was young, homeless and addicted to heroin. I dropped out of high school and into drugs."
Getting clean pointed her in the direction of acting,
but it also led to her first marriage. Alvin Martin was initially her drug counselor,
but the two made a connection, got married in 1973, and had a child together. She told
New York Magazine that despite the hardships, things weren't nearly as bad as it sounds, saying
"I was married and very happy to have a kid. It was fun."
Goldberg and Martin divorced in 1979 and Goldberg raised their daughter,
Alexandra Martin Dean, alone. Dean told The Grio that though they shared a single
room and survived off food stamps, she had a very happy upbringing.
By 1985, Whoopi Goldberg had finally established herself as a star thanks to
her Oscar-nominated performance in "The Color Purple." The following year she married Dutch
cinematographer David Claessen, whom she met on the set of the documentary, "Who Are They?"
However, they were divorced within two years. Goldberg eventually
rebounded with union representative Lyle Tratchenberg, whom she married in 1994.
The two met on the set of the movie, "Corrina, Corrina," and according to
the Los Angeles Times, they had a star-studded wedding ceremony,
attended by the likes of Arnold Schwarzenegger, Matthew Modine, and Steven Spielberg.
Unfortunately, this marriage also didn't last, and just a year later they divorced.
Speaking to The New York Times in 2019, Goldberg explained that she, quote, "was never really in
love" with her husbands and took responsibility for her marriages failing. People expected her to
get married, but she realized she wasn't ready to share her life with someone and also didn't
want the commitment or responsibilities that come with marriage. She said,
"I'd be thinking, why don't I feel the thing that I'm supposed to? Then one day I thought:
I don't have to do this. I don't have to conform. I tried marriage, and it wasn't for me."
So why did Whoopi Goldberg marry three times if she didn't love any of her husbands?
The answer will likely be crushingly relatable for some. She told Piers Morgan,
"I wanted to feel normal. And it seemed to me that if I was married,
I'd have a much more normal life."
But she said being married didn't actually feel normal to her, and she just never felt
good about being married. Though it took Goldberg a long time to figure this out,
one person knew all along: her mother. Goldberg told Robin Roberts that just
minutes before one of her weddings, her mother tried to convince her to call it off, saying
"You know you don't want to do this. I have the keys to the car. Let's go."
But ultimately, Goldberg said she, quote, "didn't want to embarrass" her partner in
front of their loved ones, so she went through with it. The star learned a valuable lesson,
one that she encouraged others to take heed of prior to their own wedding day.
She told Robin Roberts people should really think things through in advance :
"Before you get to that place, maybe you want to say, 'Do I actually want to do this?'"
Just because she never felt comfortable with sharing absolutely everything with a partner
doesn't mean that Whoopi Goldberg hasn't had fun sharing some other connections with people.
During a 2008 episode of "The View," the comedian confessed to having had "about
50" lovers throughout her life, but said that keeping track of numbers is missing the point.
"It doesn't matter how many people you've been with in your life. It's who you stick with."
Still, Goldberg told CNN that despite all that, she's never really been into dating. However,
she also revealed that she has been in love once, just not with any of her husbands.
Instead, it was with a non-celebrity, whom she declined to identify. Still,
she doesn't regret not marrying him, and the two remain friends.
"We talk all the time. He's got two great kids and a great wife."
But while that anonymous fellow may have Goldberg's heart, we do know of
some decidedly less anonymous stars who she has been publicly linked to over the years.
A few years following her second divorce, Whoopi Goldberg enjoyed a very public flirtation with
former "James Bond" star Timothy Dalton. But did they ever actually date? Both maintained that they
were just good friends. During a 1991 appearance on "The Arsenio Hall Show," they were forced to
calmly address the "rumors" after Hall had picked up on their compelling chemistry together, saying,
"Let me tell you something, there are people at home right now, saying,
'Ooh, them two! I know something is going on.'"
Their chemistry was indeed unmistakable, perhaps spilling over from their stage work
together in a highly successful theater run of A.R. Gurney's "Love Letters,"
where they played friends and occasional lovers. But did life really imitate art?
Ultimately, only the two of them know for sure. What we do know,
however, is that the British star was Goldberg's date for the Oscars in 1991,
where she won a best supporting actress statue for her performance in "Ghost" — and that,
perhaps tellingly, she didn't thank him while accepting the award.
There's one star who we do know was romantically involved with Goldberg,
though, as her affair with Ted Danson was front page news in the early 90s.
In the '80s and '90s, "Cheers" star Ted Danson was renowned for being one of the hottest dudes
on TV — and by 1992, the married actor was enjoying a secret affair with Whoopi Goldberg.
According to Hello! Magazine, the two started their controversial romance
whilst starring in the movie "Made in America" together. The affair was outed by the press,
and Danson's wife, Cassandra Coates, promptly filed for divorce.
Though Goldberg and Danson went public with their relationship, it continued to
attract criticism — a situation worsened by a notorious Friar's Club roast of Goldberg,
where Danson turned up in blackface and performed a slew of jokes about
their interracial relationship while using the N-word. Backlash was heavy,
though Goldberg publicly defended her lover - in fact, it turned out she had co-written the
jokes as a response to hate mail they had received from white supremacists.
It all took a toll, though, and when the two broke up, it was bad. Goldberg told Closer,
"It was really painful,
and it was very public. And the loss of his friendship hurts a great deal."
Goldberg told New York Magazine that she thought the fact they were a high profile interracial
couple was the source of many of their issues, as the public couldn't reconcile the thought of,
quote, "the big, rich, very sexy man from 'Cheers'" being with her.
Though she was obviously heartbroken by her split from Ted Danson, Whoopi Goldberg moved
on quickly to another relationship with legendary actor Frank Langella.
The two met while they were co-stars in the 1996 NBA comedy, "Eddie." By the time the shoot was
over, Langella and his wife of 18 years were getting divorced, and Goldberg was sliding in.
But Goldberg told New York Magazine this wasn't just a fling. Instead, it was destiny.
She revealed that she had been a fan of Langella since she was 14 and first saw him in the Mel
Brooks comedy, "Twelve Chairs," and that she had dreamed of meeting him for decades. She said,
"I always believed that I would know Frank."
And thus, their romance manifested and bloomed for five strong years. In that time,
their relationship was portrayed as being a dynamic meeting of minds. A 1996 New Yorker
article even suggests that Langella's colleagues were crediting Goldberg as the reason why his
performances were getting better and better — but by 2000 the relationship had run its course.
By all accounts it was a much more amicable split than she had with Danson.
But though they apparently remained friends and planned to keep working together,
so far they have yet to collaborate again on screen.
Having enjoyed an abundance of different relationships has understandably made
Whoopi Goldberg something of an expert in matters of the heart. In 2015,
Goldberg released an entire book of advice on the subject. The wittily titled "If Someone Says 'You
Complete Me,' Run!" dished out tips about ways to find and maintain relationships, but it also
reflected Goldberg's core personal ethos when it comes to relationships: happiness comes not
from other people, but from truly knowing who you really are and what you really want out of life.
She told Stephen Colbert,
"I think you have to be a complete person in a relationship. You have to come in
as you so that you can function! This other b.s of ‘you complete me’ - no!"
As outlined in the book, there's one major thing that definitely hasn't made Goldberg
happy in more recent years: Being in a romantic relationship. Why? She wrote,
"They require a lot of work that I actually don't want to do."
Given the variety of her romantic experiences,
it's safe to say that Goldberg has her own unique perspective on things - and we're
all just lucky she's decided to share that perspective with the rest of us!
Goldberg has finally settled on a relationship status she's comfortable with:
Single and better off for it. While in conversation with The New York
Times Magazine in 2016, Goldberg confessed that she's simply, quote,
"much happier" not having to live with anyone else and having the space to enjoy her time on her own.
She told the publication,
"I don't want somebody in my house. [...] I'm the round peg,
and marriage is the square hole. You can't have a square hole, can you?"
As Goldberg jokingly elaborated during her appearance on an episode of "Loose Women," she'd
potentially consider marriage again — but only with very specific conditions attached. She said,
"The only way I could be married to anyone ever again is if they lived
in another country. [...] They could come and visit, it would be like, 'Oh,
my goodness, I haven't seen you in so long. Come here!'"
We have to give Goldberg credit. She knows who she is, what she wants,
and what she needs in order to be happy.
Now enjoying her golden era of life,
Whoopi Goldberg is evidently very content with her own company and enjoying it alone,
but there's one for whom Goldberg is happy to share her life and home — her cat.
Goldberg revealed to Rachael Ray that while she might not commit to one man,
she will commit to one cat. And for two decades, that cat was a very special feline by the name
of Oliver, who stuck by Whoopi through thick and thin before his tragic passing.
"I had an amazing cat that I had for 20 years that was called Oliver.
He passed away earlier this year, and so I thought, okay, I'm not going to do this again."
In 2019, Goldberg told People that Oliver had actually been
a gatekeeper for potential relationships, saying,
"He will leave little treats for anybody that's not me in the bed.
I know what he will do if I bring somebody in."
After Oliver's tragic passing, though,
Goldberg unexpectedly found a new love - a rescue cat named Verrazano, or Vinnie for short.
Given that Goldberg is even known to dress up as a cat from time to time,
perhaps she's on to something here! Either way,
we wish the human celeb and her adorable cat life partner many more happy years together.
After all, if there's one person who deserves to find happiness - either with another human being,
or with an adorable pet - it has to be the amazing Whoopi Goldberg.
If you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction issues,
help is available. Visit the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services
Administration website or contact SAMHSA's National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).