- Who was most responsible for the unexpected pregnancy?
- You were.
- (exclaims) (both laugh)
(bright classical music)
- I'm Halle.
- I'm Cardell.
- [Interviewer] Are you a couple?
- Yes, yes we are.
- We were a couple for five years.
- [Interviewer] Did you have an abortion?
- I did.
And you know, I don't think I'm sad about that.
- [Interviewer] When did this happen?
- In 2018.
- [Interviewer] How often is it on your mind?
- Honestly, it comes on my mind,
comes to my mind every now and then.
I've always wanted to have, you know, multiple kids.
- I've been having baby fever a lot lately,
but you know,
it just wasn't the right time, so.
- [Interviewer] Are you ready to start?
- Yeah, here we go. - All right, let's do it.
- Skrrt, skrrt.
When you started dating me,
could you see us one day having kids?
- Yeah, I did,
because I saw how you would interact with your nephews,
and how loving and caring you were.
So that automatically was like, hey.
- I mean, look at the face. - (laughs)
- Who doesn't wanna have a kid with this face?
- Yeah.
Did we talk about the potential of getting pregnant
before starting to have sex?
- No. (laughs)
No, we did not.
We just started raw dogging dog-diddy.
- (laughs) - Absolutely. (laughs)
No we didn't, but I mean, we're adults.
So we used condoms and then I got on birth control.
When were first were dating,
how often did we have sex?
And how often do we have it now?
- We were like jackrabbits at the beginning.
- Just fuckin' all the time. - Yeah, it was like
six to eight months of just...
- Fuckin, fuckin, fuckin. - Yeah, and then
now it's, uh...
- (stifled laugh)
- Like, probably like...
(both laugh)
Like once every month?
- Bitch! Nah, nah, take it- - (laughs)
- Nah, you're lying. - No.
I wasn't counting, but
I was counting, - (laughs)
- and it was like multiple weeks
and I stopped counting after like five weeks, so.
- We're doin' better now.
- Mmm, I mean. - (laughs)
- We could do better. (both laugh)
What's something you wish I did differently in bed,
and how can I improve? (sighs)
(both laugh) - Okay.
We have these things called cervices and so
when you hit that, - Oh.
- It doesn't feel too well. - Got you.
- I don't know why rappers talk
about putting things in guts,
that never feels good, so... - (laughs)
Not balls deep?
- Nah. Nah. - Okay.
- What annoys you about me?
- I'm sorry. I love you, I do love you.
But your laugh, like...
(Interviewer laughs)
Sometimes it goes from zero to a hundred.
I can tell you a joke, and then it goes like, ah!
- (loud laughter)
- That's- see? See? You see? (laughs)
- Nah, I feel like you're not tellin' the truth,
because I've been told my laugh is infectious.
- Okay. (laughs) - It's contagious, okay?
- Get me in trouble.
What went through your mind
when you found out we were pregnant?
- I remember being in that bathroom pacing back and forth.
That three minutes feels like five hours
and I'm just shaking.
And then you're like, "what?"
And I come out there and I show you
and we both just sit on the bed like, what the fuck?
And then I look at you and I just remember
this look in your eyes where it was like, "I'm excited."
And then as soon as you made the connection in my eyes
that I wasn't, then I could see the sadness come into.
So that really sucked. - (laughs) Yeah.
I knew that I wanted to have a child with her, so...
- You were planning on this? - No, no! (both laugh)
I wasn't planning on it- - You trapped me?
- I wasn't planning on it, but I was like,
if it happened, it happened, you know what I'm saying?
I wasn't gonna be like, oh.
At the end of the day, I knew
it's not just me in this relationship.
It's the both of us, so - Yeah.
- I have to take account of everybody's feelings.
- Who was most responsible for the unexpected pregnancy.
- You were.
- (exclaims) (both laugh)
- That's a hard question, I mean,
I would say I was, I was.
- You know, honestly,
I'm gonna disagree with you because I remember-
- I should have stuck with my initial answer.
- (laughs) I was on the pill around that time
and I'm terrible on the pill.
PSA, don't ever use the birth control pill,
you gonna forget.
The alarms, cumbersome.
You gonna be at work, and the alarm comes on
for a birth control pill?
Girl, bye.
- Was there any part of the abortion that we didn't discuss?
- No.
- [Interviewer] What kind of abortion was it?
- I did the surgical route.
'Cause I wasn't even that far along when I had my abortion,
maybe like five weeks or so?
So they were like, it would be done
in about 20 minutes.
And it really was.
They told me count back from 10.
And then at the end of 10, I was wakin' up.
How did you feel?
- I remember I was quiet,
'cause I was just thinkin' in my head
what could have been, what we would've named it,
but I realized I'm just doing myself more damage doing that.
So I had to snap out of that
and be there for you so that you don't feel
like I feel some type of way towards you.
- I appreciate that.
Who did you tell about the abortion and how did they react?
- (laughs) - I gotta take a drink
to this question 'cause I know the answer, it pisses me off.
- I told my ex-wife.
She was my friend.
I had no one else to turn to.
I wasn't talking to any of my family.
You know what I'm saying?
I didn't have anybody to turn to.
(short laugh) I'm sorry.
I just needed somebody to talk to.
But yeah. - (grumbles)
- Sorry, once again.
- I understand.
- If we kept it, what would you have named it?
- Well, if it was a girl,
it definitely would've been Delaney or Summer.
For a boy, these are names
that you don't like, - (laughs)
- but I really fuck with the name Miles
and I really love Calvin.
I think that's a really cute name.
- Yeah. No.
- Calvin's a cute name!
- I didn't grow up with any Calvins.
- Jury's still out on that one, I guess.
- Yeah, jury's still out, yeah.
- If we got pregnant now, would we want to keep it?
- Yeah. Yes. Hell yeah.
Fuck yeah. - Hell yeah.
We actually did get pregnant last summer
and we were looking to keep and unfortunately we lost it.
So yeah, if we were to get pregnant now
we would definitely keep it.
- Ooh, I'm hurt.
I'm not hurt, I just feel some of type way
'cause we wanted it.
You know what I'm saying?
We wanted it to happen.
You know, we wanted everything to
come to fruition, you know what I'm saying?
We wanted to be parents.
I think that affects me a little bit more. (tearing up)
- Yeah.
- That affects me a little bit more
than the first one.
- When it did happen, I blamed myself.
It was like, the decisions I made
is what fucked this over.
But I always remind myself of what the doctor said,
which was, we can't pinpoint what exactly was done
for this to happen
the way it did. - Mm-hmm.
- And though sometimes it doesn't feel
a hundred percent true, it's what gets me by,
because if I didn't remind myself of that,
then I'd be really fucked up
because I wanna have a baby with you a lot, a lot.
And I wanted to have that baby.
But the universe at that moment just said
"it's just not that time."
- Yeah.
- But it's gonna happen for us.
We talk about it all the time - Yeah, we will.
- so I know it's gonna happen.
And even after that, the doctor told me,
"Hey, your womb's pretty good.
Your uterus is pretty, bitch," so.
(both laughs)
"There's nothing wrong in here."
And I love you.
- I love you too.
- I love you a lot.
- I love you more?
- I love you a million?
- I love you infinity?
(both laugh)
- Let's take one more shot to end this shit.
Come on. - Yeah.
- Never above you. (glass clinking)
Never below you.
Always by your side. - Always by your side.
All right, here we go.
(music ends)
(applause)
- [Interviewer] Great job you guys.